How important is sexual compatibility in a relationship?

[Etienne]

Originally Posted by Philosoph

+1 about cheating. If your relationship can't satisfy your needs, then either reassess your needs or end the relationship.
IIRC he talked about "***** on the side", which does not necessarily means cheating.

 

[mrpologuy]

Originally Posted by Viktri

100000x

I was going out with this girl for 4 years.
First 2 years; tons of sex - everywhere (yeah, we got caught a few times but who cares, honestly), everytime, all the time
3rd year; once a week at most
4th year; non-existant ergo breakup

For anyone in a 3 year relationship with sex all the time several times = awesome and to continue it so soon after break up; that's badass.

I don't even remember what it's like every week/month now, let alone everyday.

Plus not having or not having much sex while putting up with all the bullshit is horrible.

Wow. I dated a girl for 4 years and that is the exact same thing that happened to us.

 

[Dedalus]

Originally Posted by Étienne

IIRC he talked about "***** on the side", which does not necessarily means cheating.

"It's been so long since I've had any, I didn't know they moved it!"

 

[Etienne]

Originally Posted by Dedalus

"It's been so long since I've had any, I didn't know they moved it!"

what I meant is that sexual encounters on the side can be mutually agreed on if it proves impossible to reconcile differing sex drives and both parties still want a relationship. I've been in that situation before, and it's not cheating.

 

[Dedalus]

Originally Posted by Étienne

what I meant is that sexual encounters on the side can be mutually agreed on if it proves impossible to reconcile differing sex drives and both parties still want a relationship. I've been in that situation before, and it's not cheating.

I know, I was just referencing an old man joke:

Two old married men are sitting on a park bench.

"So, you gettin' any side *****?"

"It's been so long since I've had any, I didn't know they moved it!"

 

[Philosoph]

Originally Posted by Étienne

what I meant is that sexual encounters on the side can be mutually agreed on if it proves impossible to reconcile differing sex drives and both parties still want a relationship. I've been in that situation before, and it's not cheating.

Yes...I suppose I ignored this possibility. I can imagine a situation in which it might be a workable solution, though it seems really foreign to my young and naive self. I'm trying to imagine actually having this kind of conversation without getting stabbed, and it's not working so well.

 

[Saucemaster]

Originally Posted by Philosoph

Yes...I suppose I ignored this possibility. I can imagine a situation in which it might be a workable solution, though it seems really foreign to my young and naive self. I'm trying to imagine actually having this kind of conversation without getting stabbed, and it's not working so well.

I'm trying to imagine having a conversation about whether or not this conversation would get me stabbed without getting stabbed. Even that isn't working.

 

[Viktri]

Originally Posted by mrpologuy

Wow. I dated a girl for 4 years and that is the exact same thing that happened to us.

I think it shows that to us sexual compatibility is very important in our relationships.

 

[Eason]

SWEET JESUS NO!!!
Just denied after being baited, cruel. I'm going to do 100 pushups now. LET'S TRY AND DO 1000 TONIGHT.

 

[JesseJB]

Oh Eason, say this thread ain't so.

 

[Eason]

It's true man, all true. Keep it on the DL.

 

[Steve B.]

Relationships/Marriages break up for either sex or money. By a wide margin.

IME it's sort of an ancient tribal thing.

The guys want the best looking woman- the trophy to show all his buds. In the corner at a cocktail party- what do guys talk about with the most verve- p***y.

The girls want the best provider- to brag about all the **** he buys her. In the opposite corner they're talking about how hubby made partner.

As a relationship progresses over time the woman gets older and fatter and isn't as appealing. She turns off quickly to sex- IME within the first six months. And they both plod along for the rest of their lives miserably, or have the guts to call it quits.

 

[Rome]

Originally Posted by Steve B.

Relationships/Marriages break up for either sex or money. By a wide margin.

IME it's sort of an ancient tribal thing.

The guys want the best looking woman- the trophy to show all his buds. In the corner at a cocktail party- what do guys talk about with the most verve- p***y.

The girls want the best provider- to brag about all the **** he buys her. In the opposite corner they're talking about how hubby made partner.

As a relationship progresses over time the woman gets older and fatter and isn't as appealing. She turns off quickly to sex- IME within the first six months. And they both plod along for the rest of their lives miserably, or have the guts to call it quits.

That anthropologically speaking monogamous long-term relationships go against intrinsic male sexual wiring is an argument thats been made before. But we have become complex emotional creatures. The thing about is we no longer (at least here on the interweb) have to marry for three goats and an acre.

To the OP, coercing your SO into having more sex is just sad.

 

[Eason]

No coercing, the problem is more deeper and serious than I let on. She has some issues that we're trying to get past.

 

[Rome]

I hope it has nothing to do with comparisons to the ex in any way. That kinda **** you never live down. Good luck.