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How important is sexual compatibility in a relationship?

Dedalus

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Seeing as how ad hominems are out of the question, we might as throw out a lot of your points as well.

Originally Posted by 65535
We all want love, even a heartless machine like me. But it's not possible to love a girl on her terms, simply because what men want and what women want are fundamentally different. Women need direction. They don't even know what makes them happy. They define happy based on you. If you can't lead a girl, you're done.

Translation: women are stupid.

You can give yourself to a woman completely, and suddenly, a week, two later, she says or does something that you can't really pin down in your head, but your gut feeling says "god damn, i hate this chick right now." And I know everyone has seen or been through this. Probably you saw your dad lose his mind at something innocuous your mom said as a kid. Maybe it's happened to you.

Welcome to mind games, level 1. It starts off as something dumb, something minor. She'll make a snide comment, put down a buddy of yours, trash you for playing your xbox, and then it builds from there. Before you know it, she thinks you're a ***** because you let her get away with all her subtle disrespect. And if you can't protect yourself from her, how can you protect her from the world?
Translation: I (65535) am stupid, or rather, I lack the intellectual capacity to state why I am upset, discuss it reasonably with my female counterpart, and come to an agreeable resolution.

Sex becomes a once a week thing, then twice a month, then once every 2 months, and then only whenever she detects you're liable to go on a stabbing spree because you haven't had it in so long. And then she leaves.
Anecdotal evidence of a single scenario.

Many other possibilities exist. Maybe there are other issues at work with her sex drive, as not everything is about you. Maybe she was having issues with an antidepressant. Maybe sex never dies down. Maybe you go to couples therapy and find an adequate solution.

The only way to win is to not play.
Yeah, I feeling like this in even bothering with your post. Nothing you type has validity. You're clearly a moron and I'm stopping here.
 

kwilkinson

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Originally Posted by Dedalus
Seeing as how ad hominems are out of the question, we might as throw out a lot of your points as well.



Translation: women are stupid.



Translation: I (65535) am stupid, or rather, I lack the intellectual capacity to state why I am upset, discuss it reasonably with my female counterpart, and come to an agreeable resolution.



Anecdotal evidence of a single scenario.

Many other possibilities exist. Maybe there are other issues at work with her sex drive, as not everything is about you. Maybe she was having issues with an antidepressant. Maybe sex never dies down. Maybe you go to couples therapy and find an adequate solution.



Yeah, I feeling like this in even bothering with your post. Nothing you type has validity. You're clearly a moron and I'm stopping here.


:


I honestly felt all of those reading this post. Nice!
 

Dedalus

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Really, I'm not even opposed to womanizing, but bitter cynicism touted as "realistic" always gets under my skin.
 

Brian278

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Originally Posted by Dedalus
Really, I'm not even opposed to womanizing, but bitter cynicism touted as "realistic" always gets under my skin.

+1. Especially when someone who's clearly never been happy in a relationship long term passes himself off as an authority on the subject.
 

CTGuy

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Wow...this thread really makes me feel intelligent and mature in comparison.

Just out of curiousity, how old are you guys?

As a couple people said, sex is an important part of a relationship. I think anyone who is too hung up on demanding they get laid a certain number of times on a regular basis is far too rigid and demanding to ever be a very good partner in other respects not dealing with sex.

I think the best you can hope for is a girl who doesn't have a lot of hang ups up about sex (which is in itself somewhat rare) and knows why it's important without making it too much of an issue. Ultimately there will be times when you or her are tired, stressed, blah blah blah when sex will be less frequent and if you can't deal with that then frankly I can only imagine what you are like to be around.

I have a few close friends who I get the feeling make a big issue about stuff like this and it has ended up costing them relationships that were important to them from what I can tell-- not directly because they wanted to get laid twice a day and the girl got tired of being pressured and ended it, but rather because the guy's sense of entitlement bled over into other areas of life as well.

As married guys can explain better than me, there will be times in life when surprisingly sex will have to be placed on the back burner, which in the short run is a pain but ultimately is important for the greater reward of things like children.
 

Saucemaster

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CTGuy, it's not always the guy's "sense of entitlement", though. If you are experiencing genuine, physical frustration on frequent basis, there's no way it won't affect your relationship, and in a highly negative way. And while it doesn't justify cheating, it probably makes it significantly more likely. Where "sense of entitlement" bleeds into "genuine frustration" probably just depends entirely on a person's sex drive. I'd say that getting seriously frustrated over every-other-day sex would pretty much be Entitlement Land for me, but I'm not Eason (and I'm older than he is), so I'm not prepared to judge.
 

CTGuy

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Sauce--

I think you're misunderstanding me.

Sex is important and too little of it can be a real and geniune issue. I guess where to draw the line on what is reasonable frequency is pretty subjective so I won't really attempt to say what is reasonable. However, Eason is comparing a local relationship with a long distance one which I think is a poor idea.

Some people hate being told they can't have what they want. When I say that some guys feel entitled it's because I get the sense that they are complaining about things that don't show much respect for there woman nor do they show an ability to put things in context. If you want to have sex twice a day and that's all that matters to you-- then break up with this girl and find someone who wants that. Personally, I think cheating is totally ridiculous merely as a way to have some sort of requisite amount of sex.
 

Dedalus

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Originally Posted by CTGuy
Personally, I think cheating is totally ridiculous merely as a way to have some sort of requisite amount of sex.

Seriously. Who needs two women complaining about your sexual inadequacies?
 

Saucemaster

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CTGuy: Yeah, then then I think we agree. Just look at my post as an addendum, I guess.
 

CTGuy

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Originally Posted by Saucemaster
CTGuy: Yeah, then then I think we agree. Just look at my post as an addendum, I guess.


Yeah. As I said-- I am not going to tell anyone what is the "right" amount of sex to be having, but every other day seems like nothing to spit at to me. Maybe you'd like more, but then the question is how much you like this girl, are you only in it for the sex, are there other things about this relationship that make it more worthwhile than just having sex more often, etc.
 

Philosoph

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I can understand how some might take offense at 65535's overall perspective, but there is a kernel of truth to it. Namely, "don't get played like a puppet." I would think that most guys would see the value in that statement, especially if you yourself have been in that position before.
 

Brian278

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Originally Posted by Philosoph
I can understand how some might take offense at 65535's overall perspective, but there is a kernel of truth to it. Namely, "don't get played like a puppet." I would think that most guys would see the value in that statement, especially if you yourself have been in that position before.

No shit, don't let a girl walk all over you. It's the overall perspective that a relationship is some never ending mind game and that all women are out to emasculate you while simultaneously having zero independence that's reeks of misogyny and insecurity. Anyone who has been in a good, functional relationship with a mature girl/woman knows this isn't true. The advocation of cheating when your needs aren't satisfied 100% is a fairly low-life suggestion as well.
 

Philosoph

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I'd agree with that. Different frames of reference. When I found an intelligent, well-adjusted girl I was/am continually surprised at how easy it is to make things work. To be disgustingly cliche, if you're always watching your back you won't see what's right in front of you.

+1 about cheating. If your relationship can't satisfy your needs, then either reassess your needs or end the relationship.
 

Viktri

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Originally Posted by Saucemaster
I'm serious, if this actually works out, you are luckier than probably 99% of straight men in relationships that last more than a month or so. Treasure it while you have the chance.


100000x

I was going out with this girl for 4 years.
First 2 years; tons of sex - everywhere (yeah, we got caught a few times but who cares, honestly), everytime, all the time
3rd year; once a week at most
4th year; non-existant ergo breakup

For anyone in a 3 year relationship with sex all the time several times = awesome and to continue it so soon after break up; that's badass.

I don't even remember what it's like every week/month now, let alone everyday.

Plus not having or not having much sex while putting up with all the bullshit is horrible.

Originally Posted by Dedalus
Seriously. Who needs two women complaining about your sexual inadequacies?



 

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