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How do you let somebody know you are not interested in a 2nd date?

40kaas-nl

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Hi all,

A couple of months ago I broke up with my GF and I recently started dating again (some dates were with girls I met on-line).

Now the question is how do you go about telling people you are not interested in a second date? Do you tell them right after the date, a few days later or do you simply never call or e-mail them again?

I used to send an e-mail a couple of days later (women rarely seem to contact you first) but last time my date freaked out completely... :-/

Any advice / experience?

Thanks!
 

hossoso

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Right before dessert. Unless the dessert is a 'strawberry danish', in which case, you can be fairly certain she won't be calling you. Unless....
 
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just don't call. One date doesn't require a proper breakup...just let it drift.
 

Milhouse

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I agree that right before dessert is the best time. Here is what you do:

1) order the dessert.
2) excuse yourself from the table, and say "I'll be right back"
3) leave the restaurant
4) don't return or call again
 

B1FF

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Originally Posted by Milhouse
I agree that right before dessert is the best time. Here is what you do:

But you miss dessert? Leave after dessert, but before the cheque arrives.
 

GoSurface

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I read 'interested' as 'arrested.'
 

Milhouse

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Originally Posted by B1FF
But you miss dessert? Leave after dessert, but before the cheque arrives.

Hmm, an interesting point. But, I think I've cleverly found a way to have the dessert and ensure a safe getaway too. Order some coffee, especially something like a cappuccino that will take a little bit to make. After you order the coffee, bail out and get some starbucks somewhere else while you laugh to yourself for another perfectly executed free dinner con.
 

hossoso

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I'm just glad that no one has suggested ear-boxing yet. Classy bunch here.
 

RedLantern

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Obviously the nice thing to do is just to drop a text or email saying that you had a good time but they weren't what you were looking for. But I agree that just letting it slide is not a huge deal if you've only met once.
 

B1FF

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Originally Posted by Milhouse
Hmm, an interesting point. But, I think I've cleverly found a way to have the dessert and ensure a safe getaway too. Order some coffee, especially something like a cappuccino that will take a little bit to make. After you order the coffee, bail out and get some starbucks somewhere else while you laugh to yourself for another perfectly executed free dinner con.

Genius. If I can find seven low-self esteem girls on plentyoffish.com per week, I think this will get me through These Tough Economic Times.
 

Joffrey

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Originally Posted by [email protected]
just don't call. One date doesn't require a proper breakup...just let it drift.

Not calling is a shitty thing to do. Call them and let them know you aren't interested.
 

Pylon

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Originally Posted by Jodum5
Not calling is a shitty thing to do. Call them and let them know you aren't interested.

How is that shitty? Not calling your fiancÃ
and just "letting her drift" is shitty.

Is it shitty if she's called you several times and you're giving her the voicemail scrooge? Yeah, that's lame. Pick up the call, tell her that you had a great time but you don't think you're interested and be a man about it.

But after you've had one date with someone, is there an expectation that you should call again? Unless you say something like "We should do this again" at the end of a date, I don't think there's any expectation that calls will/should be made. You ask someone out, you go out. Unless one of you brings up at some point doing it again, or agrees to call the other then I don't think you're obligated to call her. Especially if after a few days she hasn't called, you could just as well assume the feelings are mutual.
 

appolyon

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why would you leave before/after desert? you wouldn't have even had sex with her by that stage
 

West24

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Originally Posted by appolyon
why would you leave before/after desert? you wouldn't have even had sex with her by that stage


amateur. i have sex before we even eat.
 

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