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How do you know when you've found "The One"?

MilanoStyle

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Originally Posted by bant
this is a joke right? absolutely terrible advice - engaged after just 6-12 months? it is fine to think about this but as a practical matter i would strongly suggest that one wait for the 'lust' to subside until making any serious decisions. 6-12 months is puppy dog love - the honeymoon stage and probably not too indicative of the next 50 yrs of monogamy.
For me, my relationship goes no more than 2 months because I get bored that easy with a girl. Hence, if I can be with a girl at 6 month mark and still feel a strong bond, that should be a "good" indication--1 year mark would seal the deal for me. But marriage itself is a scary idea....
 

A Canuker

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Originally Posted by bant
this is a joke right? absolutely terrible advice - engaged after just 6-12 months? it is fine to think about this but as a practical matter i would strongly suggest that one wait for the 'lust' to subside until making any serious decisions. 6-12 months is puppy dog love - the honeymoon stage and probably not too indicative of the next 50 yrs of monogamy.

I don't know about that. My parents did the same as did my sister both of which are doing fine. I, however, dragged my feet in all of my relationships which all ended poorly. Now that said might it have been for a reason I dragged, who knows but to just write it off dueto time either way seems silly.

I like to think that knowing if she is the one is hard, knowing she is not the one....that's easy.
 

dirk diggler

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Originally Posted by bant
this is a joke right? absolutely terrible advice - engaged after just 6-12 months? it is fine to think about this but as a practical matter i would strongly suggest that one wait for the 'lust' to subside until making any serious decisions. 6-12 months is puppy dog love - the honeymoon stage and probably not too indicative of the next 50 yrs of monogamy.

my paternal grandparents were married for almost 76 years before my grandmother passed. They met each other at a picnic and were married 6 weeks (yes, that's weeks) later. It can happen - I just would not make it a rule
 

bant

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i'm just saying that the first yr of a healthy committed relationship is spent getting to know someone - suggest people wait til the butterflies wear off before making life long decisions. ive been in a few long relationships and believe me the first yr is nice and easy. people get bored, people change, situations change, etc.
 

dirk diggler

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same thing happens after 5 years of marriage. that's why there is adultfriendfinder.com
 

GQgeek

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Originally Posted by dirk diggler
my paternal grandparents were married for almost 76 years before my grandmother passed. They met each other at a picnic and were married 6 weeks (yes, that's weeks) later. It can happen - I just would not make it a rule

On the other hand, I am a bastard and my parents were together 8 years before they made it legal. They absolutely hate each other now.

My best friend was with her bf 7 years before they got married and after they finally tied the knot with a huge ceremony, she caught him cheating 6 weeks into it.

Marriage is a crapshoot any way you look at it. The only thing you can really do is approach it as a statistician and minimize your risk.
 

skalogre

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Originally Posted by skalogre
I think I agree. Maybe.

I should probably add the disclaimer that I have had, err, recent status changes in regards to my "One" so you should ignore whatever I say, as it was obviously not exactly a correct assessment on my part
 

tiecollector

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I was in 2 relationships for 3 years each before this one and I always felt in the back of my mind like I was trying to force something that wasn't there since about month 2. Waiting until you are in your late 20s helps because you need to know yourself more and know what your own needs are.

I've only been with my girlfriend for 3 months but I have absolutely none of the doubts I had before. These past couple months have really changed my outlook on life. We've spent every day together since after the first month and have had a couple arguments and mood swings and we're still here. A couple of months is more than enough time to get to know someone, you just have to be open and communicate from the get-go. I know some people who have been together for years but only see each other 1 or 2x a week.

I think knowing what you want and what your needs are is the hardest part. And after you know that, it comes down to timing and not being scared to communicate.

I've found the one, but I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it and not rush into anything.
 

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