How do I fix my social life/ make one?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by magicman221, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. Xericx

    Xericx Senior member

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    Drink and play sports...even just shooting hoops
     


  2. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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    ,,,,
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2013


  3. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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    Drinkin is fun, =).
     


  4. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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    So recently in the last 2 months I have been texting somebody who goes to my school and we do have similar interests to some extent. He is a part of a group of friends and the activities they do are stuff i enjoy to some extent. I have hung with them a couple times on different occasion not counting the other 3 groups i tried joining. Issue is they all know each other well, their all close friends, is it worth trying to become friends with them? What kind of things can I do to become a part of their group and become a part of the fold?
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2013


  5. imatlas

    imatlas Senior member

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    You could b the official butt boy.
     


  6. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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  7. archibaldleach

    archibaldleach Senior member

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    Unless you want to befriend people without other friends, you're going to meet people who have a group of friends. Only you can decide if it's "worth it." Throw a party (either invite people over or plan a fun night out). If it goes well, someone invites you to their party and so on. It's up to you to get involved with particular groups if that's what you want. Within any group, you'll find people you get along with better than others. There's nothing wrong with having a few groups of friends and maybe 1-2 closer friends within each particular group.
     


  8. NAMOR

    NAMOR Senior member

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    I had the same "problem" as OP. ultimately I realized most people are boring and uninspired. I didn't want to make friends simply for the sake of spending time with them. However once in a while id run into someone that really inspired me or had aomething unique to offer. those are the people worth making the effort for. id recommend shifitng upur focus from groups to people. ironicallly, Some of the best relationships I have today began in college through various organizations and associations: fraternities, campus rec sports, working as a teacher assistant, etc. join any groups you have even the slightest interest in and go from there
     


  9. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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    ....
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2013


  10. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    I think it means "see you around". There's always a natural (or forced) end to a conversation. Nothing wrong with that. If you have the person's contact info invite them out to something or see if they want to hang out. If the person never wants to hang out or never reciprocates, then you have your answer.
     


  11. Nathan5653

    Nathan5653 Active Member

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    I really agree with this. Something I realised is that most people you meet have a group they usually hang out with. If you want to make new friends, you're going to have to make the effort 99% of the time, at least at the start. Most people (at least in my experience) are quite happy to hang out and make new friends. It may feel uncomfortable since you're doing all the work (I felt like this before, not sure if others do), but again, in my experience, people are appreciative of the fact you made the effort. I've even had people remark on how outgoing I am, even though I consider myself to be strongly introverted (I pretty much read books 90% of my free time).

    Also, +1000 to what NAMOR said. I found it way easier to make new friends when I tried to look for people who I could connect with rather than simply join any group of friends. You'll also feel more inclined to put in the effort. In response to your earlier question, you should ask yourself if you'd like to become friends with the group. When I'm in a situation like that and it feels like I'm really forcing myself, then that's a sign to me that it's not worth the effort. One last thing, I think sharing experiences and opening yourself up leads to more better connections than simply doing things together.
     


  12. bobba1293

    bobba1293 Member

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    What are your areas of interest? If you are good at something, people who are interested in those things will probably want to be around you without you having to chase after them
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013


  13. SplasH

    SplasH Active Member

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    You should join couchsurfing.com. Fun way to travel and/or meet people from a lot of different horizons in your city.

    Basically the "magic formula" is "be interested and interesting" so aside of doing different things so that you have materials and experience to stuff into a conversation, always look for what you can learn from people, which means getting them to talk about what they're good at/with. Diversity is the key to finding the right kind of people you want to hangout with.

    To help you with social interactions that you don't seem too good with, I'd recommend reading about seduction. Most PUA books are marketed crap, but The Mystery method is a bit different in the way it delivers a blueprint for successful social interactions. I used what was in it as a teacher to keep my class interested in what I had to say for example. More serious, The art of public speaking by Dale Carnegie can help you work on your confidence while speaking to a group.

    Also, workout, it really clears your mind and being in shape can also be a conversation starter and raise your social value.

    Just remember, nothing will ever change without you initiating the change. The important thing is knowing what to work on, and it's also the hardest part.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013


  14. magicman221

    magicman221 Active Member

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    Will they seem indifferent and uninterested at the beginning, is that just normal? I
    guitar, anime, readin. science, video games, i already answered that earlier. I would say im getting better at guitar i do make time for it.
     


  15. imatlas

    imatlas Senior member

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    Join a band or go to some jam sessions. Go to a Cosplay event in your area. Play in a video game tournament (or organize one!).
     


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