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How can I get some kind of dating life going?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by dapperdude, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. suited

    suited Senior member

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    You need to make friends, if not, you're going to want to put yourself into situations and places where the opposite sex is also there alone and not with a group of people. If I met a girl at a bar that was there alone, I'd either think she was an alcoholic, had no friends, or had just moved into the area. I doubt you'll get the benefit of the doubt in that situation. I guess there's always a chance some personable, grounded, attractive lady walks into a bar alone looking to meet men, but truthfully a single guy cannot get away with the same things a single lady can. Your other option is to be intoxicated wherever you go. I mean wherever you go. This will alleviate your social anxieties and boost your confidence, likely resulting in an overly confident and aggressive approach to women leaving you unsuccessful and spiraling into your gin-soaked late 30's still single but now with a drinking problem.
     
  2. dapperdude

    dapperdude Senior member

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    Austin, TX
    

    Hi, JrMouse. Yup, in Austin. I know lots of places. It's impossible not to walk or drive past bars and other nightlife on my way to work everyday.

    As the other posters suggested I don't really have friends that I regularly go out with, and I don't want to go to bars alone.

    That's why I'm kind of focused on singles mixers, meetup groups, etc., right now.

    Saturday I'm getting together with some old co-space co-workers to play cards at some bar downtown. There are several cute girls in that group.
     
  3. dapperdude

    dapperdude Senior member

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    So the cooking thing turned out not to be a cooking class per se, but a singles mixer hosted at a commerical kitchen, with some cooking demos by an executive chef, cocktails, games (blind taste tests), etc. There was absolutely no risk of appearing "husbandish" at this thing. :)

    I met a few nice girls. It was good to get out, talk and meet people. I got one girl's number. Overall it was good just to get out my rut and being able to easily talk to unfamiliar women in a social situation, definitely a confidence-booster.

    The stress from my job change recently, the daylight savings time change and getting over a bad cold during SXSW (dealing with concert noise issues and sleep problems from the medication I was on) all happening simultaneously was just rough on me, and sometimes I react with rigid rules and by withdrawing from situations I find unpleasant or challenging. My original post reflects that. I was really feeling shitty, sick and sleep-deprived but I'm moving forward. My calendar is filled with mixers, conferences, speed-dating events, etc.
     
  4. dapperdude

    dapperdude Senior member

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    Location:
    Austin, TX
    It was also a confidence boost to compare myself with the other guys at this event.

    By contrast, I feel I was more approachable and comfortable in this situation. There was one guy there who apparently has been to many of these events, and been rejected by one of the girls there. He was telling me this nice girl I just met is a "total bitch" because she wasn't interested in him. He was also hitting on the hostess (who actually was the most physically attractive woman at this event, but she wasn't there to be a participant). She later told me he's a bit of a creeper based on some of the things he was talking about. The other two guys didn't seem to be enjoying themselves that much.
     
  5. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    you mean you are not the dude in your avatar :confused:

    dapperdude, that is great news. With this new girl, you don't wan to seem desperate/needy but also not so nonchalant that you let her get away. Fot tips on what to do, go to the Manton's Courtship Advice thread, read the posts by edinatlanta and then do the exact opposite.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Cary Grant

    Cary Grant Senior member

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    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. tropics

    tropics Senior member

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    yeah losing a whole hour really tends to f*** up people's social lives


    :rotflmao:
     
  8. dapperdude

    dapperdude Senior member

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    Location:
    Austin, TX
    

    That's some nice editing. You should be in journalism.

    Go fuck yourself.
     

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