SCENE Philadelphia. August. Early Morning. Underground, on the Westbound El by the Courthouse. Random Old Guy: (walking up to me as we exit the El) Hey, counselor, are those brown shoes? Me: Oh, no, they're burgundy. ROG: Eh? Well, they look brown to me…(pregnant pause}…The judge is gonna throw you outta court for that, you know. Me: Have a nice day! (walking away briskly). EXEUNT. Spoiler: Warning: Shoes that will get you thrown out of court!