Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by Mr.K, Mar 25, 2011.
Marriage and having children are huge decisions that shouldn't be rushed or pressured into.
What is it about commitment in a legally binding (and religiously, in my case) relationship does everyone hate so much? Seeking after emotions first and behavior second seems to be the root of this phenomenon. Blame it on Greek thought, I guess…
And old, single people are usually way weirder than married ones (you seem pretty cool, HF).
to which degree of brain damage do we owe this pleasure?
I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. I was just making an observation that younger people on this forum seem to be married. People my age that I am friends with are pretty far away from it. I think, like Will.i.n said, living in an urban area might have something to do with it.
To Will.i.n, of course. Duh.
The time comes when some girl steals your heart, you never know when !
I didn't know you were such a hedonist, Holdfast!
I could not even imagine how great is to have a baby.
Don't eat junk food and you would be skinny even with 5 kids
And stuff for today. Winter came to Toronto again
As a fellow mental health professional I agree with alot of this. Identity is really individual and Erikson felt that people need to have a coherent sense of personal identity before they could fall into a mature, adult relationship. I think people are in a hurry to get married have children etc. out of a need to fulfill developmental tasks in a hurry because of the anxiety and uncertainty of modern professional life and the delayed emerging into adulthood that modern society affords. One can assuage the anxiety by getting married and "skipping over" the whole "finding yourself" bit.
It sounds like HF has found some personal integrity that motivates his decisions in life that is internal, rather than externally forced. I think people who lack that inherent sense of internal fortitude make decisions based upon what is expected of them through conformity or authoritarian pressure to adhere to social mores. Then again, I may be overanalyzing due to this being my dissertation topic.
I have no qualms with people getting married when the are ready. It is individual and a meaningful purposeful decision. I agree 100% with HC and crusty that it depends on your stage in life, your personal values, and what is meaningful at the time for you. Some people can decide that at 26, or 46, or 66. However, at any age, that decision could be based on external pressures or anxiety rather than an internal sense of security and peace.
As for the question about psychologists and the impact of our work on life decisions, I believe we all compartmentalize our experiences in work and try to awkwardly fit them into our disperate life experiences. For me, seeing patients provides me with some perspective but my own internal dramas and conflicts will cloud my experiences and judgments much more than my patient's experiences. At least that is my opinion.
I am wearing boxers and a t-shirt right now. No fit pic. Real clothes later
Edit: HF, do you have a particular theoretical orientation that informs your practice? I am not sure of the current directions/preferences in Britain/Europe psychology. I am only aware of history in that part of the worlds thinking on psychology. Just curious
Hedonism is a very broad term, and one which has in more recent decades acquired certain overlays/connotations that don't apply to me, but as an overall concept, yes, I am. But Epicurean "feels" the more appropriate term, in the true sense of the word, though Jung and Erikson have also influenced my thinking. Citan correctly points to the importance I place upon personal integrity and an internal locus of control.
Citan, you asked if I have a specific theoretical orientation that's influencing my thinking beyond the above. I would perhaps suggest that I have some intellectual sympathy with some (not all!) Rogerian principles as well as Jungian and Eriksonian ones. I think they're all more complementary to each other than many might suggest (Jung's humans are made up of Rogers' individuals, after all). Both focus on the importance of making peace with one's personal identity, thereby nourishing growth, which I think is of paramount importance in the long term.
I once had some dude verbally attack me for getting married.
I am used to getting alot of jabs from single guys, but they aren't ever personal. This dude on the other hand seemed really angry about it. His friend had to hold him back.
HF can you try to explain his actions from a psychoanalytic perspective lol
Acrid don't point picture like that please. Here is a lot of people
I was going to have a lunch what should I do now?
I can. He's a jealous asshole.
thing is that I didn't even know the guy.
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