"Hey, looking sharp", then what?

[idfnl]

Hey guys, how would you handle this?

Guy I know socially comes up to me at a function to start chatting and opens the conversation by saying "Hey, looking sharp", but he wasnt... so what do I say?

I just said 'thank you' and moved on... but what is the most polite way to handle such a situation when the other party isn't looking sharp? I want to be honest but also want to avoid a misperception.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by idfnl

Hey guys, how would you handle this?

Guy I know socially comes up to me at a function to start chatting and opens the conversation by saying "Hey, looking sharp", but he wasnt... so what do I say?

I just said 'thank you' and moved on... but what is the most polite way to handle such a situation when the other party isn't looking sharp? I want to be honest but also want to avoid a misperception.

him: Hey, looking sharp!
you: Someone's gotta do it.

 

[MrDaniels]

I consulted Emily Post and found this:


Him: Hey, looking sharp!
You: Thanks!

 

[emmanuel]

I actually had this happen to me a couple times. Last time was at church. Someone came up to me and told me I look great and then asked me if I liked how he was dressed. I looked at his over sized sport coat, baggy pants, puffy shirt, beat up shoes, and tie with a bunch of bibles on it and replied "not at all". It is a shame because I actually liked this guy but I refuse to lie.

 

[wmmk]

Him: You're looking sharp!
You: I...like your socks?

 

[TheFoo]

I usually say something to this effect: "Not looking so bad yourself! Nice tie." Who cares what they actually look like? Truth is overrated.

 

[Threadbearer]

Originally Posted by idfnl

Hey guys, how would you handle this?

Guy I know socially comes up to me at a function to start chatting and opens the conversation by saying "Hey, looking sharp", but he wasnt... so what do I say?

I just said 'thank you' and moved on... but what is the most polite way to handle such a situation when the other party isn't looking sharp? I want to be honest but also want to avoid a misperception.
You handled the situation beautifully. "Thank you" is the appropriate response for a gentleman. You can earn bonus points for changing the subject swiftly and tactfully, especially if you're able to throw the spotlight back onto the other man with a personal question, such as, "What have you been up to?" or "How are your wonderful children?"

If the other man pushes his luck by asking "How do you think I look?" after complimenting you, that's a little tougher, but you could pick one item on his person that isn't entirely offensive and say, "I like your X; may I ask where you got it?" Again, you'll have avoided insulting him and will have deflected attention back to him and his ever-so-exciting life.

Another honest-yet-tactful response to "How do I look?" might be "Interesting and creative!" That's a little risky, though. Riskier still is, "We have different styles, so I'm not a good person to ask." In either case, immediately and cheerfully change the subject.

 

[nordicstyle]

I think I would just say "Thanks" and move on to talking about something else.

 

[DrFaustus]

Originally Posted by Threadbearer

You handled the situation beautifully. "Thank you" is the appropriate response for a gentleman. You can earn bonus points for changing the subject swiftly and tactfully, especially if you're able to throw the spotlight back onto the other man with a personal question, such as, "What have you been up to?" or "How are your wonderful children?"

If the other man pushes his luck by asking "How do you think I look?" after complimenting you, that's a little tougher, but you could pick one item on his person that isn't entirely offensive and say, "I like your X; may I ask where you got it?" Again, you'll have avoided insulting him and will have deflected attention back to him and his ever-so-exciting life.

Another honest-yet-tactful response to "How do I look?" might be "Interesting and creative!" That's a little risky, though. Riskier still is, "We have different styles, so I'm not a good person to ask." In either case, immediately and cheerfully change the subject.

+1

This is great advice.

 

[Spatlese]

Originally Posted by DrFaustus

+1

This is great advice.

I agree. I just thank them and move on. I'm troubled by the person who would actually ask me in turn what I thought about their look. I've had women do this, but never a man.

 

[TheFoo]

I don't understand why you guys can't just lie. Complimenting a person on his attire is as much a social convention as shaking hands. When a friend gets a new car, I say it's nice. When a friend has us over for dinner, I say the food is nice and compliment their house and decor. When I meet someone, I often say they look sharp. So what? It's a funny to value truth over manners when the truth is so inconsequential.

Originally Posted by Spatlese

I'm troubled by the person who would actually ask me in turn what I thought about their look. I've had women do this, but never a man.

I've been asked by male acquaintences what I think of their outfits. I see nothing odd about it; they genuinely seem interested in my opinion. I take it as a compliment and I can usually tell when they are looking for a substantive analysis--which is almost never.

 

[magogian12345]

If they look sharp, then return the compliment. If they don't, then just say thank you. But make sure to change topics or start a conversation. An awkward "thank you" followed by silence is insulting to them.

 

[Spatlese]

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I don't understand why you guys can't just lie. Complimenting a person on his attire is as much a social convention as shaking hands. When a friend gets a new car, I say it's nice. When a friend has us over for dinner, I say the food is nice and compliment their house and decor. When I meet someone, I often say they look sharp. So what? It's a funny to value truth over manners when the truth is so inconsequential.



I've been asked by male acquaintences what I think of their outfits. I see nothing odd about it; they genuinely seem interested in my opinion. I take it as a compliment and I can usually tell when they are looking for a substantive analysis--which is almost never.

If asked, I would have no problem complimenting them back (even in imo if it's not warranted). I've just never been asked. Quite possibly my opinion is not valued.

 

[winston]

Originally Posted by emmanuel

I actually had this happen to me a couple times. Last time was at church. Someone came up to me and told me I look great and then asked me if I liked how he was dressed. I looked at his over sized sport coat, baggy pants, puffy shirt, beat up shoes, and tie with a bunch of bibles on it and replied "not at all". It is a shame because I actually liked this guy but I refuse to lie.

Good grief. How did he respond to "not at all"? I could never say that.

 

[TheFoo]

Originally Posted by Spatlese

If asked, I would have no problem complimenting them back (even in imo if it's not warranted). I've just never been asked. Quite possibly my opinion is not valued.

But what's the big deal with complimenting someone out of hand? Is it a matter of principle or not being able to do without sounding false?