• STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

Help Bokeh Find His Style - transformation in progress

Bokeh

Active Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2010
Messages
31
Reaction score
0
Hello styleforums. Sorry for the long first post; But, I hope that down the road this thread can be a styleforum.net transformation that will inspire others. I've been lurking here a while and figured its finally time to register because I am more confused about which direction to go with myself with style. To summarize my situation. I've lost 30lbs so far this year just by changing what I eat, and I will be getting back into the gym within the next few months. I'm guessing I still have another 30lbs of fat to lose and joining a gym will help in that regard.Im single, and plan on putting myself back into the dating scene in another year or two when I get back up to par physically. In the mean time I need to work on my style. I recently threw away alot of XXL sized items because they were simply too large for me now. now I have a few XL sized things, but soon they too will be too large at least the regular fit items. I'm looking to change my style and have nowhere but the internet to turn for advice. because I personally don't know anyone who has the eye for it that I can ask for advice on what to wear. I hardly trust my eye for style, because I've essentially withdrew from everything these last 6 years or so. Up until the beginning of this year when I hit 40. It finally hit me that I need to change. I Have one 44r navy blazer for dinners, etc. but at this time I think it would be a waste to buy any more jackets, since I am still loosing weight, and nice jackets are expensive. I live in florida, so I'm not really needing heavy materials for warmth during the upcomming winter months. My hair has been thinning on the top for the last few years, so I finally decided to shave it a week ago, and feel a little better about that decision. I dont have a job where I need to wear a suit. but when I get fit I would like to wear jackets, etc. as part of my casual wardrobe I guess Im just looking for some general advice on what I should get for myself. but having a hard time because nothing is fitting right for me. I feel that I need to wear my shirts untucked because of my gutt. I need help finding my style. here are a few images of what you have to work with. any tips and/or criticism is appreciated. freshly shaven face & head
I wore this just to show my ill physique at the moment and how I am having a hard time finding a correct fit. XXL underarmor t-shirt, 35w x 30l Tommy Hilfiger chinos, and sperry shoes.
Here is the type of outfit I currently wear. I have these polos in 5 different colors. I bought them just because I threw out all my stuff that was too large that I bought 30lbs heavier. 35w x 30l TH chinos & large Hilfiger polo. hopefully I lose my moobs after some time back in the gym.
some polo jeans that are starting to feel too big at the waist. 36 x30 and another Hilfiger polo - large.
Thank You
 

SpooPoker

Internet Bigtimer and Most Popular Man on Campus
Affiliate Vendor
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Oct 11, 2009
Messages
43,027
Reaction score
69,582
First of all, I wish I had your closet space. If you dont have a job that requires suits, no need to invest there. Go to a local store and try on some dress shirts that fit you well. Looking at you Im guessing you would be about a 17/33. Try and get a spread collar in a white, blue, striped, and pattern to carry you through any interviews/weddings/events, etc. Invest in flat front pants, standard rise, no more than 8.5" at cuffs. Get blue, grey, and
one black. For casual fits, get a few pairs of well fitting Levis and some crisp new polo shirts in new colors. Shoes - plenty of other shoe posters more knowledgeable than me to offer help there, but find the basics and get them. Congrats on your weight loss and best of luck on your transformation.
 

DocHolliday

Stylish Dinosaur
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Apr 21, 2005
Messages
16,118
Reaction score
1,121
Don't spend a lot of money now. Buy interim clothes until your weight stabilizes. I wouldn't drop big bucks until I hit my goal weight and managed to stay there. If you're like most people, you'll go up and down, especially at first.

In the meantime, look around and decide what you like. Check out WAYW and flip through Esquire and the like. Then think about how you could incorporate the styles you like into your own wardrobe.

Congrats on the weight loss. Sounds like a wonderful life change.
 

Eight

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2010
Messages
56
Reaction score
0
I think you are selling yourself wayyyy short. Dating scene in two years? Why?

Finding a good tailor should be your first goal, then go for a progressive move towards better quality and fitting clothes. Do not underestimate the effect of a good tailor. Looks for sales of quality stuff and good shoes.

At least this is my recommendation.

I want to reiterate that I think you are selling yourself short.
 

razl

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
10,669
Reaction score
2,896
Originally Posted by DocHolliday
Don't spend a lot of money now. Buy interim clothes until your weight stabilizes.

Bingo. Look at your situation right now as research, research, research while you move towards your end goals. Sure, you want cool better looking stuff now - and it's hard to argue when you've already lost 30lbs, I'd want to reward myself too. But if you're not done yet, don't bother. You'll end up junking everything again or tailoring the heck out of it.

Also, you're beating up on yourself a bit too much - you're going to do just fine. And no need to wait 2 years on the dating. If you've dropped 30 already, you're well on your way. Go crush it in the gym and think about the Partenopea you're going to score in a couple more months.

Seriously, keep your powder dry for now - stockpile cash for once you get rid of your self described gut and use that as a motivator ("I'm not getting that 42 blazer until I can fit in it,proper!"). Once you get there, or near there, you'll be ready to go big.

That said, maybe a couple of better items in the meantime, but think of them as a bridge from where you're at to where you're going - ie. disposable. Otherwise you're going to waste a lot of money, time and effort - trust me (us!).
 

Newcomer

Distinguished Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
8,341
Reaction score
18,043
You also have a frame that is going to be easier to loose weight it appears. I mean you have the gut to loose, but I would not worry too much about that at this juncture.

I would say pick up some casual buttondowns and some well fitting chinos, and improve your shoe wardrobe. Then, when you are more satisfied with your weight, start filling in the rest.

There is a reason why women gravitate towards shoes... it does not matter what they look like, their feet will always look good in a nice pair of shoes (to a certain extent).

As for women--confidence is incredibly attractive to women. You are doing great right now, and you should be proud of yourself. Just keep it up.
 

Chips

Distinguished Member
Joined
May 5, 2008
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
10
Been there, doing that. I still have 30 pounds to go, so I can speak from first hand experience of how frustrating it has been. I've dropped 145 pounds in the last 2 years, but have gained and lost the same 15 pounds repetitively over the last year.

But more to the point, I have also held off having any major suits or coats added to my wardrobe at this point, till I reach and maintain my goal for at least 6 months. But in the meantime, you can do what I do, and pay more attention to the smaller details, i.e., shoes, socks, ties, belts ( which can be shortened very easily by a cobbler) and if they suit you, even the smaller things like cufflinks and wallets, etc.

While most of these things aren't wardrobe staples, it is fun to pick up things like these as a reward for the progress you make. Even things like dress shirts can be bought now, since your neckline wont likely shrink much more, but at least not enough to affect casual fitting shirts like a classic oxford cloth button down.
And these can be tapered in at the sides and sleeves if necessary by any competent tailor.

But save the suits, sports coats and dress pants, even the casual chinos and such till after you settle out. A pair or two of jeans would be fine, but just keep in mind you'll likely replace them in about 3 more months.
 

acl1

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
628
Reaction score
9
Agree with a few reiterated comments; definitely save up, explore the forum for at least a month without buying anything and find a style/brand/fit that suits you, then spend a good chunk on a few quality pieces. If you feel the urge to splurge, stick with shoes, as your feet size will not be in flux like your weight.
 

J. Cogburn

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
654
Reaction score
12
Just finished the same journey - lost 70 pounds over the past 15 months. Advice: * Spend as little as you can until you hit goal weight. All you really need is one pair of jeans (levi's are fine for now), one pair of khakis, grey wool trousers, a pair of khaki shorts (since you live in Florida), and maybe some other light-weight semi-nice pair of slacks (I went for seersucker). For shirts, a nice white tee shirt (I liked Alternative Apparel) a couple of polos (two of your favorite / most complimentary colors), a short sleeve linen or cotton shirt, a long sleeve cotton or linen shirt (white and blue), and maybe a rugby shirt. Be disciplined and try not to buy anything else. But as you loose weight, keep buying new items to replace the old. This is your way of rewarding yourself and staying good looking during your slide down the weight scale. * If you want to spend, spend on ties. But since you don't wear suits every day, you don't really need to do that unless you just love ties. * I disagree with the advice on shoes. As you lose weight, your feet will narrow. Buying shoes now will mean that, when you've lost all the weight you plan on losing, your shoes will be too wide. Wait on this ... trust me. * Use your weight-loss time to keep reading about cloths and keep your eyes open. You think you like x now, but a couple of months from now, you might start migrating to look z. A lot of people get the bug and discover how to dress well with a bunch of patterns and colors only to discover down the road that a more pared-down, monochromatic look is their preferred style. No need to rush anything during your weight loss though. * Plan your purchases in advance. Make a budget for what you're going to do when you hit goal weight and research what you will want. Try to resist the temptation to buy a lot - better to keep a smaller wardrobe that is high on quality than a larger wardrobe that is somewhat lower on quality. Replacing a wardrobe is very expensive, so you need to be disciplined about what you really need versus what you might want. A secondary benefit of this is that your "dream" wardrobe (that is, your planned purchases) will be a wonderful incentive to keep going - a big psychological reward at the end of the tunnel. That helped me a lot. A tertiary benefit of a high-quality wardrobe when it's all done is that it increases the marginal cost of subsequent weight gain. You just invested a ton on some really great clothes - if you start going up the scales again, they will all have to go. That should provide some degree of deterrence. * Don't wait on dating. You're a pretty good looking guy. OK, you'll be a better looking guy when all is done, but there's no reason you can't have fun with women right now. Biggest advice here: be confident and don't be self absorbed during your weight loss (something easy to fall in to given how much single-minded discipline is required). Self absorption is a big romance killer. Get your self-absorbed self on this board and let it out here - keep it out of the social world. Tell no one you're here. * Be ambitious with regards to your weight loss goals. Estimate your ideal, perfect, killer weight and make that your goal. You will be tempted to settle once you've seen a lot of improvement and people will start telling you that you look fine (great!) and that you should stop now. Don't listen to them. Even if you do end up falling short, you will go further this way than by setting a more "realistic," moderate goal. * Hit the gym now - why wait? It's not going to do much to lose the weight (most people are very misinformed about how much they lose via excercise; it's mostly food control), but it will keep you from losing muscle mass during your weight loss and will improve your tone - which is always attractive. Better to be thin and toned than to be thin and gaunt. * Think of this as a permanent life style change, not a diet or temporary exercise project. It's permanent .... you're making a fundamental change. If you think of it as a diet, you will regain the weight once it's all over. Good luck!
 

J. Cogburn

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
654
Reaction score
12
Oh, and one other thing. No one can give you a sartorial "style." That has to come from you. A sartorial style, done well, must reflect two things in nearly equal measure; who you are and what signals you want to send to others about who you are. Michael Alden has some very good riffs on this subject over at the London Lounge. Even the controversial bunny has some worthwhile things to say on this matter at Film Noir Buff. No one on this board knows enough about either of those two things to point you in the right direction.

The best way to "find your style" is to chew over both issues and to keep your eyes open. Notice what people are wearing. File away those combinations that appeal to you. Don't worry about styles that seem to "out there." There's nothing wrong with dressing differently as long as it doesn't go into the realm of costume. If you're confident, you can stand out from the crowd in a very positive way. Many women, by the way, love that.
 

landshark

Distinguished Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2010
Messages
1,715
Reaction score
54
Alot of good advice here. My reccomendation would be, now that you shave your head, you should grow some facial hair and keem it well groomed. Also, when you finally lose enough weight to start buying suits, get a nice hat (e.g. a fedora) to wear. This can also help with your newly shaved head. Good luck!
 

patrickBOOTH

Stylish Dinosaur
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Oct 16, 2006
Messages
37,827
Reaction score
12,300
I don't know. I think the shaved head, facial hair thing is a terrible look. I would just keep a short culdesac. I think that is classier.
 

MBreinin

Distinguished Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2009
Messages
4,120
Reaction score
288
Keep going! 30 pounds is a great start. Don't buy clothes until you hit that goal, or you will be buying them again.

Also, you are going UG with your pants..i.e. Under-Goot. When you get to your goal, you will be able to wear your pants where your waist is located, not at your hips.

Best of luck!

Mike
 

Bull

Distinguished Member
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
1,285
Reaction score
4
Originally Posted by J. Cogburn
Spend as little as you can until you hit goal weight.

+1,000

Nothing worse that great suits that fit baggy.
 

Bokeh

Active Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2010
Messages
31
Reaction score
0
Wow, thanks everyone. There is allot of great advice here to help me out in my current situation. This was surely a case where getting some outside thoughts was needed. I was stuck in trying to justify buying clothing for my current build to kind of reward myself for the weightloss to date. But, I am not even close to my goal physique yet. So, I am going to take the advice and wait on the clothing, buying now would be pointless and would just fuill the desire to get something new. I think what I will do is reward my future weightloss with something like a nice pair of shoes every 15lbs as long as I keep it off a month after losing it. that way when it's time to finally get some good fitting clothing I will have the shoes. I'm liking a few by Church's. One black and one brown pair would be nice to have already when I start re-doing my wardrobe. With the help of this thread I have an idea of the staple items I should be getting to start my wardrobe when its time... It was also nice hearing from people who first hand have already been through the weightloss that I am going through now. In the past, I would always just going into Macy's, and pick out some clothing. But when my physique is ready, I want to go about it in a different way. So far, this forum is helping expand my eye for style. thanks.
 

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by

Featured Sponsor

Most Interesting Fashion Collaboration of 2020

  • JW Anderson x Uniqlo

  • Nigo x Virgil Abloh

  • Converse x Midnight Studios

  • Rick Owens x Champion

  • Barbour x Engineered Garments

  • Adidas x Bed JW Ford

  • Jordan Brand x Dior

  • Billie Eilish x Takashi Murakami

  • Lego x Levi's


Results are only viewable after voting.

Related Threads

Forum statistics

Threads
446,596
Messages
9,659,056
Members
201,827
Latest member
Lambeau
Top