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Have you known an East Indian man that was successful in dating interracial before?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Fisher Shard, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. CesarC

    CesarC Senior member

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    I think these two are big components of your problem, though still that should not be a deal-breaker. I myself, though of Latin American descent, have often been confused for Persian or even South Asian, and have had no problems here in the Mid-Atlantic. I also know of both Pakistani and Indian men who have successfully dated white women, including some who have gone on to marry them.

    I think there are a couple of issues:

    1) There is some degree of reservation coming from people in the deep south, in general, however we might like to believe there isn't. This is less true in larger cities, but still true.
    2) You seem to be drawn to a particular "type," and I am wondering if this is indicative of some of your own hangups / insecurities.
    3) You think about this way too much. You should be focused on being your own man, and then growing into yourself will eliminate some of these difficulties.

    If indeed you are good-looking, as you say, you should not have any problem once the other issues are fixed. People can do very well by dressing well, but more importantly it is better to know how to dress appropriately. Depending on where you are and in what situation, wearing a sharp outfit may be out of place if the styling is not suited to the norms of the area and demographic you are trying to appeal. A most important thing is to be confident in your own person and wear it well, to own whatever you do put on; this extends to your attitude generally, and will prevent you from coming off as smarmy or creepy. There is a fine line between confident, cocky, and aggressive. If you are already coming off as different and perhaps stretching someone's boundaries, coming off as aggressive or pushy will be even more of a setback than it would be for others (especially waspy men).

    Aside from all of the superficial things, though, I think it's important to look at your goals. What are you trying to achieve? If you're just trying to bed hot blondes, then by all means keep on revising and revisiting the above. If you're actually looking for more-than-physical relationships, then it's important to have something to offer. Being super insecure is not going to help. You need to figure out what you really like (not just what you use to lure women), and what you really care about, and then don't be shy about discussing or showing these interests and values. That is more attractive than almost anything else. It will definitely help to be in an area with more open-minded people, but sometimes being a unicorn can be its own advantage.

    Bottom line: don't worry about it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  2. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

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    You're a boring idiot. The South is the second to the West in percentage of mixed-race couples.
     
  3. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    Shut up about the "Deep South." Every time you make a post that includes those words, they're either preceded or followed by some tired-ass, ignorant stereotype.

    Also, regarding your other threads about school, when you transfer to whatever school it is in the SEC you intend to grace with your presence, please start a thread and report on your success. Speaking as someone who is intimately familiar with college-town life in the SEC, I'm quite certain your condescending, region-bashing shitheadedness is going to go a long, long way to making you a BMOC who spends his evenings knee-deep in pussy and parties.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
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  4. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    Eh, well guys I'm from the South and am a racial minority and I think he's right about white women being more hesitant to date outside their race. Certainly middle and upper middle class women as compared with other parts of the US
     
  5. Matt

    Matt Senior member

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    says the white hispanic :)
     
  6. fwiffo

    fwiffo Senior member

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    In Toronto, I'm beginning to see East Indian and Chinese couples which ten years ago was not very common to me. But East Indian and black, white, etc. was something I've seen for years. I grew up with a childhood friend who had a Kenyan father and Indian mother.
     
  7. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    LOL with "fez"... This is how you know you're old... We know him from 'That 70s Show', kids today know him as Handy fuckin Manny
     
  8. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    Being desi myself, the answer to the OP's question is - yes I know many desi guys who get white girls. However in his case it's probably not going to happen, judging by his posts he's waaaaay too self conscious, so he's already sabotaged himself before he's even started.

    Some desi guys can get white girls, and some can't. My casual observation is the ones who can are typically not self-conscious, good at talking to girls in general, and don't put white girls up on a pedestal as being unattainable or being a whole different species. The ones who can't are a bit creepy (you can just see the pervy thoughts running through their heads on their face when they see a white girl), a bit fobby, sometimes with less than optimal hygeine, and obsess about "white girls." Nothing turns women off like desperation. The OP should grade himself and see which of these two categories he's leaning towards.

    For pete's sake stop making more threads about this - it's just getting ridiculous.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  9. Fisher Shard

    Fisher Shard Well-Known Member

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    Wow, much to my surprise the posts on here were actually heavily helpful, thank you CesarC, you are my favorite user on here now. Thank you so much.

    How surprising, the Indian guy is the one that is hard on me than anyone else. I don't doubt for a second he is one of those kids who grew up in London or Toronto and has little to no idea how it is like being a minority in general in the deep south. I always have a bad experience with other Indians online, most of the guys have no real life experience and probably got pandered to as kids.

    As for my looks, I got voted into Beautifulpeople.com and have received winks from women in Brazil and Russia so I guess that is going somewhere.

    As for the south, maybe Atlanta and college towns are different but in my area, most girls who are decent looking and White will hardly ever date a White guy, unless he is a White Latino (Messi for example).

    Why am I insecure about being Indian?

    1. Living down south as a minority (most women are White), me and my Black, Asian, and Brown Hispanic friends rarely have success dating interracial.

    2. On the internet, I have read NOTHING but how bad Indian men have it dating in the US, UK, Canada, and even Western Europe (where women run at the sight of seeing one apparently)

    So I posted this for some information and getting to know how bad it is in other areas of not only America but even the world.
     
  10. Macallan9

    Macallan9 Senior member

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    Regardless of the reason, few women are attracted to insecurity.
     
  11. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    I'm guessing this is a reference to me - unfortunately I didn't grow up in London or Toronto - I'm born and raised in Edmonton - I'll give you a few minutes to find that on a map - we're in the middle of the most redneck conservative province in Canada, so your stereotypes of the deep south don't have much effect on me.

    I have a good friend, who is South Indian - the group of brown people that all the other brown people like to pick on. He grew up in Dubai where he was picked on by all the other brown kids and was convinced he was ugly by everyone's standards. I'm not sure he had ever interacted with white people before coming to Canada for university. I remember he told me the first time he saw a white homeless guy his mind was blown - because growing up he figured all white people were rich. For the first few years he was probably more insecure/self-conscious around girls than you (at least from what I can gather by reading a few of your posts.) At one point he stopped obsessing about white/brown/black and just learned to talk to women with confidence - period. Now he's actually pretty good at picking them up regardless of race.

    If you want a single piece of actionable advice which could help you - find a way to conquer your insecurity, women detect that right away and you're hooped before you even start. Straight up - some women won't date brown guys period, but many other girls are open to dating ANY guy who can charm them.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  12. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    much more suprising is why you're still around.
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. Matt

    Matt Senior member

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    ^ kudos to him for sticking it out...at least he appears to be considering the recommendations here (as opposed to the 96 year old virgin guy in the other thread).
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2012
  14. YOLO EMSHI

    YOLO EMSHI Senior member

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    Quote:
    Look it's time to cut the crap. It's not a woman that you are needing in your life, but it's the Harold in your Harold and Kumar.
     
  15. Fisher Shard

    Fisher Shard Well-Known Member

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    Great posts, I misjudged you fidel (creative name too btw).

    What I am truly interested in knowing is this, do you think Indian men can pick up a niche or find kinds of women who are interested in them and women they start off on a positive note with because of their dark hair, light brown skin, and brown eyes?

    Basically, women who will find this attractive:

    http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/q/a/qa82ntiobqg2itb8.jpg

    Like Black men have their niche, women of other races seek them out for their "size".

    Do Indian men have their niche they can play up to?
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2012
  16. Matt

    Matt Senior member

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    "me? I'm a doctor, what do you do?"
     
  17. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    Yes and no. I'm sure there are tons of girls who would find someone who looked like that pic attractive. But you won't have any way of to readily identify them. It's not like you can look at people walking down the street and say "yup - she's into brown guys."

    But that said, lots of girls are open to *anyone* who is charming/interesting/entertaining - that's your in. If you can hold a girls interest in a conversation, and be interesting to be around, looks become secondary - and maybe after an hour of talking to them, they start to think "hey - he is attractive" because you grow on them.

    There is this whole guy subculture of PUA's ("pick up artists") who advocate that if you can say the right thing and present yourself in the right way ANY guy can get ANY girl. I think there is some truth to that. You can google it find a zillion forums and books on the subject. Someone once insisted I read one of these books - I declined because I thought it was all a little weird and creepy - but I've seen it work for some people, and backfire with comical results for others.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2012
  18. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    double-post
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2012
  19. CesarC

    CesarC Senior member

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    Hah, dude, you have to stop fixating on this. Especially if you are super good-looking as the guy in that photo, you should have no problem and you just need to get over it. Stop relying or fixating on looks, and just get out there.

    But to answer your question, yes, they do exist but are rare.

    Oh, and +1 to Fidel's last comment.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2012
  20. Fisher Shard

    Fisher Shard Well-Known Member

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    What I am saying is this, say you put an Indian guy in London, he PROBABLY won't have much luck there because the British hate Brown people a lot (apparently from what I have heard). Also, any word on how tough it might be for me to have success with women in countries like France or Norway compared to the USA?

    Now on the other hand, if you put him in NYC apparently he can have SOME SUCCESS. What I am saying is, among what groups of women (especially since White since that is all I am really around) can an Indian guy appeal to and start on the right foot with?

    Hipsters? Nurses? Well Traveled ones?

    I mean I certainly won't try to hit on sorority girls.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2012

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