Have you been caught red by your partner buying expensive items without telling her?

[oroy38]

Now that my basics are finally getting rounded out, my purchases are becoming fewer and far between. I'm mainly focusing on replacing items that have "played their part" with new ones that are of higher quality with a better emphasis on fit and details. Whenever she sees something new, though, she always feels the need to ask me how much I spent on it (like when I bought a set of Edward Green Pelhams from the Winter Sale).

"Enough" is my default answer.

She usually knows not push further and get an actual number because she knows that it's worth it to me, even though she thinks it's ridiculous to spend so much money on clothes. On the flip side, however, she does like the way I dress, so she really can't complain.

 

[wingcat]

i try not to keep anything from my wife. she, like i, thinks extravagance on clothes, food, and etc is good from time to time or i should say once in a while, although we both try to buy at a discount(sale) or obtain good value, for instance land's end cashmere can be excellent and it is on sale right now, however i can't afford lobster every day.

 

[apropos]

Well goddammit guys, I just got caught out. Great timing with this thread.

Forgot that I had not told her about it, and asked her if she was OK with me shipping cloth to her workplace.

Tried the whole 'oh, don't you remember me mentioning this to you last Christmas, I'm sure I did' line, but 2.2m of LL cloth has just earned me a bit of trouble.

 

[Gradstudent78]

Originally Posted by Winot

I'm amazed that this is an issue for so many. What business is it of theirs what you spend your money on? Unless it's money they've earned and you are kept men, but I doubt it somehow.

Our model = we both work and have our own bank accounts. A set sum from each gets paid into a joint account monthly to fund joint expenditure (household; kids; holidays etc.). I pay more than her as I earn more. What's left is ours to spend as we wish.

This is how I've always imagined doing it if I was married. Seems like the easiest way to avoid these kind of issues and both people are free to buy what they want.

 

[JayJay]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

the credit card company called my home to ask about it.
I hate it when this happens.

 

[Newcomer]

I have been caught not just by my girlfriend, but by my parents... I forgot to change my shipping address from my billing address [I am a student]... and my pair of Lowndes shipped straight to my parents. I do not think either of my folks have spent more than $100 on a pair of shoes in their life. It did not go over well.

My girlfriend encourages the addiction, as she beleives it is more healthy than many other habits I could pick up.

 

[RJman]

Originally Posted by Manton

I was busted for this two days ago. First time in quite a while. She was neither amused nor supportive.

Is your A&S order finished too? I shudder to think of what my wife will find on the doorstep...

 

[onix]

Originally Posted by Newcomer

My girlfriend encourages the addiction, as she beleives it is more healthy than many other habits I could pick up.

Yeah, I joint SF a bit more than a year ago and was spending quite a lot several months after that until it seems unreasonable. So I decided to take a hiatus. But then soon got into some other more expensive addictions. And later last year, she finally told me that she would rather see me addicted to SF instead, because I at least always look nice.

 

[The Louche]

Originally Posted by blackbowtie

I don't have a partner but I do get embarrassed when people (family, friends, colleagues) find out how much I spend on clothes, and try to hide it as much as possible. I figure that my shopping habit might change if I had a partner (unless I marry up, of course.)

This. But I will never get married b/c I am immature.

 

[ohm]

She's balks a bit at the price of bespoke.

We discuss some things, some things not but she's never been angry when she found out about something after the fact. A bit shocked on occasion but not angry. edit: I suppose one could take that to mean I'm not trying hard enough.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I don't buy very much, really. and I dont' hide anything.

a few years ago, I bought 2 pair of vass shoes, when I was in Budapest. I really shouldn't have, because money was tight, but I got a bonus, and hadn't bought anything for myself in a couple of years, and needed shoes.

anyway, I hadn't gotten out of the shop when my wife calls on my cell "DID YOU JUST SPEND 1500 DOLLARS ON A PAIR OF SHOES?" "no, I spent 1500 dollars on two pair of shoes". it didn't go as well as I might have hoped. the credit card company called my home to ask about it.

And now the umbrella episode makes so much more sense.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Thomas

And now the umbrella episode makes so much more sense.

 

[Doxe]

I like to keep things at the office for a bit before having them make an "appearance". Normally I get things at the SF discount, so there's the "I saved 85%" argument. But I do make sure I check the mail for packages before she does.

 

[furo]

Originally Posted by Winot

I'm amazed that this is an issue for so many. What business is it of theirs what you spend your money on? Unless it's money they've earned and you are kept men, but I doubt it somehow.

In my opinion, it's every bit of their business. She's your wife, not your boss. I guess I just see it as: why would I ever keep any secret from my wife, especially wrt money? The only thing I can really justify keeping a secret is a gift for her bday, xmas, valentine's (which is hard as hell to do btw).

Originally Posted by Winot

Our model = we both work and have our own bank accounts. A set sum from each gets paid into a joint account monthly to fund joint expenditure (household; kids; holidays etc.). I pay more than her as I earn more. What's left is ours to spend as we wish.

If that works for you, that's great. But I see it as a recipe for disaster. Something just doesn't seem right about that.

Originally Posted by bigbris1

I always disclose and get her opinion. Then make sure I buy something for her, too.


^^this^^

I'm a newly wed but I've quickly learned that doing this will not only win you points, but keep you out of hot water!

 

[Bartolo]

Originally Posted by stilts121

She likes the fact that I'm starting to care again about how I look, but is not used to my ever growing-expensive tastes.
This. However my gf is a bit of an enabler, too. We were at Drinkwater's in Cambridge and I'd purposefully steered myself away from the Paraboot collection in the past, but she spotted a pair of scotch grain bluchers that she loved. Of course I'm wearing them today . . .