Has anyone drawn a penis for CC checkout signature?

[mafoofan Jr.]

Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I'm a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an asshole.



With any story, there is a setup process. Here is the setup to this story. About 6 months ago, I was making a purchase with my credit card and when I went to sign the electronic signature machine, it was broken. By broken, I mean that when I touched the pen to the machine, it went crazy and didn't look anything like my signature. It looked like a drunk 4 year old signed my name for me. It accepted the signature without any problems. So this really made me wonder what I could do to give my credit card company something to laugh about. I mean, they obviously don't review the signatures since they never called me or declined a purchase. For ***** sake, it could have been a stolen card.



I started out modest by signing with a line or an "X". Occasionally I would do last name first. After a couple of months, I became bolder. I wrote goofy ****, drew pictures, etc. Here's a list of some of my favorite signatures over the past few months:



I AM NOT KINGPIN
I STOLE THIS
**** OFF
**** YOU
WALMART SUCKS
CALL ME
CROTCHY CROTCHINGTON
MY BALLS ITCH
911
I'M A CRIMINAL
THANKS FOR THE STUFF



Today I went the extra mile. When it came time to sign my name, a thought popped in my head. I should draw a picture. But what picture should I draw? I smirked as something completely juvenile came to me. This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided:



Yes, I know, it's not my best artwork, but I didn't have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit "OK", there was a pause. The register then said "COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD." One thought popped in my head: "OH ****!" It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my ****** drawing of cock and balls. The lady at the register didn't immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said "These signatures don't match."



At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn't matter. I probably didn't make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words "he drew a penis..." as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I'm out of breath from laughing and I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl.



Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card.
Kingpin: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Kingpin: Yeah, I didn't think this would happen. I've been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Kingpin: Yeah, the credit card doesn't accept penis.
**The guy behind me now can't stop laughing.**
Manager: OK, I'm going to decline the signature and have you sign it again.
Kingpin: Fair enough.
Manager: This time, really sign it.



So I had to sign it again and they wouldn't let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had singlehandedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn't let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew cock and balls as his credit card signature.



So I have a plan now. I'm going to get a new credit card and sign the back with ******* and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really **** with them.

http://www.drunkrepublic.com/index.p...mor&Itemid=60?

 

[tiecollector]

I usually draw a picture of my cat. I got caught last week for it at Crate and Barrel.

 

[Spilotro]

You have no idea how ridiculously hard I started to laugh as soon as I saw this thread. THANK YOU!

I haven't done it myself, but I have thought about it. Drawing dicks on things is epic.

 

[flashback]

laughing hysterically...

but the credit card company never even sees the signature on your card, since you get the card and then sign it. I don't know why you would ever get a message like "match signature to card".

 

[Spilotro]

^ To my knowledge, anything that you intend to use as a representation your name is fair game. Maybe some lawyers can confirm this?

 

[RedLantern]

We talked about it a bit last semester in relation to signing estate planning documents, and yes, pretty much anything will do as long as it is made with the intent of being legally bound/ validating the document.

 

[suited]

If I write a check to one of my friends I went to high school with, I'll draw a huge, hairy, erupting penis on the memo line. I'm sure they love cashing/depositing the check. I think by banking rules, you can't scribble over it for security reasons

 

[xchen]

When my friends and I all go out to eat we will usually pick someone out of our group and write his number on one of the receipts, sometimes along with a note like "Call me, please." Also, it is not uncommon to draw pictures such as a dinosaur with fire coming out of its mouth. I think I may have done a Christmas tree once. I generally don't do it though unless I am at a restaurant where they bring the receipt out to the table.

Some guy made a website about this same topic with pictures of different signatures he has used throughout the years. IIRC it was very funny.

 

[rdawson808]

On a related note, a number of years back I saw a disturbing story about how seldom banks will check signatures (or anything other than the name of the payee and numerals in the little box).

They signed checks with every conceivable stupid name, including Minnie Mouse. Nothing. No one noticed anything. Sad.

When I worked in a drug store (hs and college) we were always taught to check the signature and to make sure the numerals and words matched. Of course, we were much more check-heavy back then in the late 80s/early 90s.

b

 

[taxgenius]

Originally Posted by Spilotro

^ To my knowledge, anything that you intend to use as a representation your name is fair game. Maybe some lawyers can confirm this?

Agree.

 

[gnatty8]

Hilarious. I am only surprised you managed to go this long but then again, I cannot remember the last time anybody looked at the signature on my CC.

That would have been pretty funny to see, apparently the guy in line was not complaining about being held up.

 

[HORNS]

Awesome, thanks for sharing this.

 

[whusurdadi]

One time at a 7-11 I tried blacking out the entire screen - it times out after like 15 seconds, though - the non english speaking dude behind the counter was freaking out...

 

[RJman]

Originally Posted by tiecollector

I usually draw a picture of my cat.
Share?

 

[BDC2823]

Wow. That is quite possible one of the funniest things I have read in quite some time. I could picture the whole scenario taking place and like the guy waiting in line, I was laughing hysterically. That was the perfect way to start the work day. Thanks.