Groom needs help - fresh thread

[jtbassic]

So I've done it again, I've made something that could have been simple extremely complicated by doing research online. The more I learn the less confident I am in my decisions. I've started a new thread (old one here: http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=208898 ) to re-vector my pursuit of the perfect outfit for my wedding. Facts:

• Wedding is in early august in Boston (i.e. sunset around 8 PM)
• Ceremony is at 4:00PM, Cocktail Hour 5-6, Reception from 6-10
• Ceremony and reception both in same building (old and ornate Lenox Hotel)
• Will only be outside to take photos (possibly even before the ceremony, else during cocktail hour)
• Bride's dress is long and modern...and very high-end
• My budget is around ~$500
• I am about 5'8" with a slim-to-average build
• I currently own one dark gray suit.... by Jos. A Bank......
  
• 2 groomsmen. 1 owns nice suit and crappy tux, other owns neither, both have small budgets (but could be convinced to buy outfit if affordable)

I knew from the start I did not want to rent based on poor fit and look of rented tuxes in weddings I've been in/to. I love the classic look of a peak lapel tuxedo with a low cut waistcoat/vest. I am also not completely against the look of a nice suit. Questions: 1) Researching late afternoon weddings in mid summer I have read a variety of opinions. I can a) just wear a nice suit the whole day b) Wear a tuxedo the whole day c) buy a morning coat d) Wear two different outfits 2) Based on the answer to 1) what should the groomsmen wear? Should anything on the groomsmen match the bridesmaids dress color? 3) If tux is the answer I have considered this so far but am concerned about getting a waistcoat to go with it considering it has satin lapels. If a black satin waistcoat is needed to match the tux lapels I fear it may add too much shine for me, other option is barathea waistcoat but it doesn't really match right?...in which case a white pique waistcoat and wing collar shirt may be the answer. In any case, these low cut waistcoats are very difficult to find and seem to be either cheap and crappy (~$35) or kind of expensive (~$200) compared to my overall budget. -OR- I can keep my eye out for deals online and in used shops to find a grosgrain lapel tux. I just worry that I'm going to kill a big chunk of my life in such a hunt (which is usually the case when I'm set on finding a deal on something). --------- In the end I kind of want to do things the right way in order to look nice on the wedding day as well as 30 years later when I look back at the pictures. BUT I am willing to bend the rules in order to meet my budget, keep the bride happy and not make things difficult for my 2 groomsmen. I really appreciate everyone's help and I apologize for starting a new thread

 

[jtbassic]

I suppose I should add one more:

4) It is suggested that tux on ring bearer is tacky...I agree. But what should he wear then?

 

[ZON_JR]

When are you getting married?

 

[jtbassic]

Early August, 2011

 

[makewayhomer]

I stated some of this in the other thread.

I am in nearly the same exact spot. I bought the satin lapelled Paul Stuart from Keezars. I would love to find a classic matching waistcoat, but as you found this is very hard to find for a budget price.

I have basically realized that going with a cummerbumb is not a big deal in case I cant find a waistcoat I like. with your jacket buttoned, neither option is very visible at all. I tried on a RLPL waistcoat under my jacket, and 95% of it was hidden. a cummerbumb, similarly, is hardly visible, and really just serves to cover up patches of white you don't want seen.

I will probably end up wearing a nice cummerbumb, plan to keep my jacket buttoned on, done and done

 

[ZON_JR]

I'm sorry, I meant "why".

 

[blackboard_knowledge]

I am also engaged, and hope to offer some best practices / lessons learned.

I feel that I can share a lot of good advice with some guidance. Before I do, there are really three cardinal rules:
(1) Make sure whatever you do is kosher with your future wife. She has probably been thinking and planning for this day since you were eating paste in kindergarten. Yes, some things you should stand your ground on --such as a gourmet mashed potato bar-- but anything that is aesthetically driven should be green-lighted by her;
(2) You mention that your wife's dress is long and modern. Now, this is important: is it a wedding gown or a ball gown? If it is a full-fledged wedding gown, I typically lean toward tuxes. Either way, make sure that your attire is in sync.
(3) Once you get past the first two points, try to find something that is reflective of you. If you feel comfortable in a tux, go with a tux. Although, if I may make a recommendation, do not wear a vest. I feel as though that look can look a little "prom 1998." One can get away these days quite cheap with a tux, as I think that it is fine to use a well-fitting french-cuff white dress shirt (with no pleats or studs). One can also use a satin tie instead of a bowtie, but I personally prefer the aesthetic of the bowtie.

If you wear a tux, I would also have your groomsmen wear tuxes (people are much more understanding if the groomsmen have ill fitting rented tuxes then the groom). Like many things, it doesn't matter who made it, just as long as it fits well. Make sure that you have a good tailor and that your tux fits perfectly.

To show you my cards, I had a similar budget, and am wearing the following:
Hickey tuxedo - $400 off of GiltMan.com
Purple Label tuxedo shirt with pleats - $50 at Polo Outlet
Charles Tyrwhitt bowtie - $30 after some coupons
Studs and cufflinks

 

[bleachboy]

Originally Posted by jtbassic

I've made something that could have been simple extremely complicated

Yes, you have. Nobody is supposed to be looking at you anyway. You and your friends barely own suits. Your budget is such that any tux you buy is going to be crappier than a rental tux.

Answer: Go to a tux rental place and you all rent matching tuxes.

 

[jtbassic]

@ZON_JR - well played

@makewayforhomer, I think I'll end up in your boat...waiting for a deal on a low cut waistcoat. I did call Keezer's about the Paul Stuart, no sizes near 38....the one I tried on was a little large.

@blackboard_knowledge, I agree with the vest if we are talking modern 5+ button vests, but have you seen pics with the classic low-cut vest? Much more classy I feel. How long did it take you to find those deals? I will have to keep an eye on Gilt.

 

[jtbassic]

@bleachboy, I hear you, the budget is tight but I can't imagine a rental looking better than even a cheap yet well-altered tux. Maybe you'll prove to be correct. I'm also not too concerned about the groomsmen matching me or each other exactly.

 

[bleachboy]

Originally Posted by jtbassic

@bleachboy, I hear you, the budget is tight but I can't imagine a rental looking better than even a cheap yet well-altered tux. Maybe you'll prove to be correct. I'm also not too concerned about the groomsmen matching me or each other exactly.

You better ask your wife if she's cool with you and your groomsmen wearing random suits and/or trying to reflect their personality through their dress.

The entire point of the tuxedo is that every man at an event looks exactly the same, so that the women get to show off their pretty dresses.

 

[jtbassic]

point taken

 

[alliswell]

Originally Posted by bleachboy

The entire point of the tuxedo is that every man at an event looks exactly the same, so that the women get to complain that the color and shape of the bridesmaid dresses flatter none of them..

FTFY

 

[Christopher Essex]

Originally Posted by bleachboy

Yes, you have. Nobody is supposed to be looking at you anyway. You and your friends barely own suits. Your budget is such that any tux you buy is going to be crappier than a rental tux.

Answer: Go to a tux rental place and you all rent matching tuxes.

+1 on this.

You say your wife-to-be has a high-end (which I read to mean 'expensive') wedding dress.

You really have to look like your groomsmen and not bring attention to yourself or she will feel that you took away from her dress.

Come to think of it, if the budget allowed for such a high-end dress, why wouldn't it also allow for the groom and groomsmen to at the very least be dressed in formal wear that reflected the quality of the dress?

 

[jtbassic]

dress budget was separate from wedding budget (i.e. her parents bought her whatever dress she wanted)