Good Natured Advice Thread (improving a business wardrobe)

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by Claghorn, Jan 6, 2014.

  1. ridethecliche

    ridethecliche Senior member

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    If you can afford only 5 ties for the rest of the year, I'd go used and pick up stuff from luxeswap or NWOT offerings on ebay and such. Ties are a relatively safe bet for these things.

    Those all look gorgeous though!
     
  2. Sotiris

    Sotiris Senior member

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    Those are all very good choices. I'm about the same size and build. I'd agree 3.25 is a good width. For me, I like 54" length for silk and 53" length for grenadines. That works well for FIH leaving both blades the same length.

    Most standard length ties can work well for me with DFIH knots though I have had some shortened and probably have a few more I should also shorten.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  3. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    I think that that is a fine policy, but I think its wrong of you to say without qualification that its a terrible idea to buy something without telling your SO (to be fair, I also made my comment without qualification, but I thought it was clearly tongue in cheek). I think it depends on stages of life, and types of relationships and personalities.

    Sure, when I was first married, and I had to think twice about buying a CD from Walmart, then I would always discuss larger purchases with the wife, and she with me. But at this point, I see no reason to. I have a decent enough job, as does my wife, I know how much money we make, and what I can afford to buy, and I purchase accordingly, as does my wife. She buys whats she needs for herself, the kids, and the house, and I buy the stuff I buy, both of us purchasing with the knowledge of what level of expenditure we live at, finically.

    Do we occasionally ask/tell each other about a larger purchase? Sure. Her more than me, but its not "to get permission," we are long past that, and as neither of us (ok, almost neither of us) are financially irresponsible, we each take of what we need/want to take care of.

    Obviously, this is all from a fiduciary responsibility point of view. As far as asking your SO if he/she likes what you bought, certainly there is nothing wrong with that. Personally though, my wife and I have very different tastes, an she buys what she likes and I buy what I like, and I think for the most part, we both look good. And we are happy to accept that just because I may not like her dress or she may not like my jacket, that does not mean we should frown upon it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  4. Claghorn

    Claghorn Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    You're far more likely to settle with an approach like this. If you find something you love on eBay, then absolutely get it. But five ties I'm 100% happy with is, in my mind, better than 10 ties I'm 90% happy with. Especially if you plan on expanding your tie selection in the near future. On the flip side, if you're wearing those fives ties five days a week and will be doing so for the foreseeable future, maybe get two of your favorite Hobers, check out the sales at a few places (Yount, Mountain & Sackett, etc), and look to eBay to fill out the rest (maybe 8 ties in total)


    ------

    re: telling SO's about purchases

    Generally, anything under 50 we use our discretion. Anything over, we run it past each other. We have shared bank accounts (at my insistence--a push back against the Korean style of it being socially acceptable for men to have a small separate account for any "fun" expenses...also shared accounts are just what my parents do, so I was shocked to find that many couples don't), so it isn't like I could hide anything even if I wanted to. But it depends on the couple. If a person feels no need to try and slip purchases by their SO, then there probably isn't any need to at least consult her out of respect. Since my wife responds with mild exasperation when I purchase ties or what not, I am sometimes tempted to slip a new tie into the closet just to avoid the eye rolling--so I make sure to talk to her before pulling that trigger.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  5. Murlsquirl

    Murlsquirl The Moral Squirrel Dubiously Honored Moderator

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    I'm in the same boat as Stitchy. It's probably because we are old(ish) and have been married for a while....13 years.
     
  6. ridethecliche

    ridethecliche Senior member

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    I think neats will be hard to find on ebay and would lead to some settling. Something like chocolate and burgundy grenadines aren't really all that complicated and plenty of reputable makers make them.

    Having 5 ties means that you're wearing every tie you own once a week.

    4 of the 5 ties that poster linked to aren't all that complicated. Plain repp ties, unpatterned grenadines, and a simple pin dot.
     
  7. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    Damn! You are oooooooold.

    We are coming up on 12 years.

    As an example, lets say I want to buy a suit from Panta for 2k, and I plan on using some of my year end bonus for it. That will not go by the wife. If it would, she would be mad, but she would also know that the kop is not going to ruin us, so is not going to object to it either. I know it and she knows it, as we have had that convo many times. As such, it does neither of us any good to have that convo again and again.

    Lets say I want to recklessly spend 2k on a suit using money from our savings account, that also wont go by the wife, because I wont do it.

    We have come to an agreement that its just better if we do what we each have to do, and that we be responsible about it, and if I spend us into oblivion she can kill me.
     
  8. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    inorite.
     
  9. Claghorn

    Claghorn Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I guess we're newly married, so I still try to think of it as "our" money. Given our respective career paths, I will probably always earn substantially more than she, so this is doubly important.

    This was especially tough to keep in mind this past year when I was working seven days a week. I was lucky in that for a few of the unexpected windfalls, Mrs. C had no issue with me going to B&T, but I can't deny that part of me felt like I should have more say with what we do with the money than she (our earnings were probably about 4:1).

    I guess the most important thing is to communicate and come to some sort of agreement (even if it's an agreement not to communicate about certain things)
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  10. The Noodles

    The Noodles Skid Fu

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    Going from an only child to husband is a real big change.
     
  11. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    Communication is the greatest key.

    I also make more than the wife, but that never makes me feel entitled to spend more. If she was not tending to the house and kids as well as working, she could easily make as much or more than me. Whatever we each make, all together, its our money.


    Except for bonus money, that ish is all mine. We have "agreed" that that is the area where I can go crazy and pretend like Im a baller.
     
  12. jrd617

    jrd617 Senior member

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    Can anyone recommend a stylish business card holder? Maybe something in cordovan?
     
  13. ridethecliche

    ridethecliche Senior member

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    That depends. Does your wife know you're going to buy one?
     
  14. The Noodles

    The Noodles Skid Fu

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    @in stitches
    What have I learned about my wife:
    - She has my back no matter what.
    - Money or material does not make wife happy.
    - A good conversation is worth more to her than money or material.
    - Being open and honest is key to a succesful relationship...even if that includes her telling me that I am not good-looking objectively speaking.
    - I can lean on her. She's my best friend, biggest supporter.

    (Group hug?)
     

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