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Give your best advice to an expecting father

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by gdl203, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. andyw

    andyw Senior member

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    Haven't read the previous posts so if redundent, just confirms the sentiments. Both my kids are teenagers and I still remember the birth of my first vividly as if it was yesterday. I have two bits of advice.

    I highly recommend taking the first week or two off from work and just relish the quietude of the newborn. Obviously, it won't be quiet, but you'll probably reflect on the life changes and the fascination of moving on with a baby and family. You will be looking forwards, backwards and in the moment; It is a memorable time, just go with the flow.

    Treat your wife so she doesn't feel like she is competing for your attention with the baby. take time to do things just with her, ket her know that she is as specil with the baby as without.

    Peace.
     
  2. romafan

    romafan Senior member

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Good advice here. As an ex-infantry drill sgt (?), I think you can take GT's words to the bank!

    We have twin boyz (now 5 and a half!) and would echo the 'get them on the same schedule' recommendation. Nothing will be 'easy' for awhile, but if you can get them eating and sleeping at the same time you'll at least have a couple of hours to try and make some semblance of order out of the chaos (or take a nap).

    Another thing, if you can swing it, is a good baby nurse. Find one, and then take all that eating-out-delicious-restaurant $$$ and turn it into her retainer fee! This person will become your new best friend.

    Think of everything you'll possibly need to do, and then do it (now). Procrastination is not an option. Get as much taken care of and out of the way in advance as is humanly possible.

    I wasn't real keen on the support groups, but they can be a good resource for nanny contacts, buying & selling gear, etc. : http://www.manhattanmothersoftwins.org/

    Good luck, and feel free to PM w/ any questions.
     
  3. andyw

    andyw Senior member

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    ...........on a practical matter, some more suggestions:

    infants tend to scratch themselves with regularity and look like the losing end of a battle with a cat. Unless you swaddle the baby so his/her arms are restrained, they will scratch. Baby scissors designed to safely trim baby nails will be indispensible for this problem. You will have to go to a fairly large or specializaed drugstore to find them.

    If you aren't a member already, join a warehouse club for the volume of paper and baby products you wiil consume.
     
  4. romafan

    romafan Senior member

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    Whoa - it's all coming back to me....

    Get a bottle sterilizer! Don't worry to much about a warmer - just as easy to put bottles in pan of hot water. We all know Manhattan is the center of the universe, right? NOT SO for baby products! Diapers, formula (w/ twins chances are you will be supplementing w/ formula from the get go), wipes, A&D ointment, Aquaphor, Triple Paste, diaper genie refills, etc., are often in short supply at your local Duane Read, and once you choose your 'brand' it will be next to impossible to find the stuff in the quantites you're looking for. Chelsea resident - BuyBuyBaby, no worries, right? Wrong! You'll see they're constantly 'out' of what you're looking for. Do yourself a favor and get a drugstore.com account set up. Dedicate a shelf (closet?) to the baby stuff and keep it stocked.

    Get the dual bouncy seat set-up going. Take tons of pictures. Music soothes the savage beast.

    SF duds will take a beating between spit-up and wear&tear on knees - don't 'get dressed' until you're ready to leave and change as soon as you get home.
     
  5. Bradford

    Bradford Senior member

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    If you want a masculine and extremely well-designed diaper bag, check out http://www.diaperdude.com/. We started with a regular diaper bag from Babies 'R Us and used that for about a year before my in-laws gave me one of the bags from this site. It is much more comfortable, much better designed and more organized that it has since become the go-to bag for both my wife and I for the past 4-years for both kids. And congratulations! It's a really awesome experience becoming a dad.
     
  6. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    You guys are good! Thanks for all the advice so far. A lot of food for thought

    Thanks for the encouraging words and congrats too [​IMG]
     
  7. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Senior member

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    congrats.

    Speaking as a son and not as a father, if you intend to help your kids or do something for your kids. Do it, and dont complain about it.

    Make sure they understand that you're helping them, and they should be greatful, but dont spend your spare time complaining about what needs to be done and whats being done.

    I heard alot growing up about how expensive it was to have me and my brother and sister around, and being old enough to contemplate it now i understand it was my parents DECISION to have kids.

    Set the rules before hand, not afterwards, no one is a mind reader.

    Dont spend all your time reminding them that they're not grown-ups and letting them know that they dont know how tough the real world is, they live in the real world, just like you, and they'll find out as they go.

    I suggest if its at all feasable you let your kids know what you do, and involve them in it, so they have an understanding of what daddy does.


    That being said, from your personality i've experience on here, i think you're going to be a GREAT dad! Congrats.
     
  8. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    i have 3 boys, ages 8, 6 and 4:

    i'd say:

    when you do something, so it for the right reasons, not because you're overcompensating for your past or prior behavior

    don't be afraid to say no, but don't be afraid to say yes either

    no matter how boring a baby is, enjoy them all the time because it goes really fast (as does life in general post fatherhood)


    start understanding that the pecking order is child first, wife next, you last

    attend every school function and game you can because again they are fleeting and will want nothing to do with you soon enough

    provide a good example of how to treat women whether you have a son or daughter because your son will emulate you and your daughters will invariably end up with someone like you
     
  9. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    http://www.manhattanmothersoftwins.org/[/url]

    .



    my wife really enjoys the moms of twins groups here in chicago. it is really nice to have people who understand the situation.

    and, yeah, get help if you can (and Inthink that you can swing it) we have a woman for 30 hours a week, and it is very helpful.
     
  10. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    mommy groups are great for trading too. we've traded toddler beds for cribs, etc.
     
  11. KenN

    KenN Senior member

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    I am 22. So I can only speak from a son's perspective.
    1. Pictures of your child are good. But don't take any naked pictures, that's not cool (especially if you show their friends later in life)
    2. Encourage them to play team sports (emphasis on encourage)
    3. Don't push them to do anything against their interest (piano, football, math... whatever) You are only wasting time and money
    4. Pass him down something meaningful (a watch, a knife, a jacket...)
    5. And finally, Love your wife.
     
  12. denimdestroyedmylife

    denimdestroyedmylife Senior member

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    I am expecting a baby in a few months, too.
    How to make baby a tennis pro or concert pianist?
     
  13. chorse123

    chorse123 Senior member

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    RUN!

    Just kidding. I like that drugstore.com suggestion. I used them for a while and was very happy with the service and quick delivery. Also, if you have an AmericanAirlines ff#, they give something like 6 miles per $
     
  14. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    G, IIRC, you are having two boys, right? I have some great advice for you for when they are about 3, that you probrably don't want to hear now. remind me then.
     
  15. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    G, IIRC, you are having two boys, right? I have some great advice for you for when they are about 3, that you probrably don't want to hear now. remind me then.

    That's right. I'll put that in my calendar [​IMG]
     
  16. crazyquik

    crazyquik Senior member

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    I bet I drew a million sharks!


    That is hilarious. I LOL-ed.

    One day I'll probably have a kid or so, and I'm definitely stealing that idea [​IMG]
     
  17. philosophe

    philosophe Senior member

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    No advice here, but CONGRATULATIONS to you and your wife!
     
  18. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    Special question for the NYC dads (e.g. romafan and others): do I need to own a car now? Can I survive with cabs and occasional zipcars?

    I should note that all the grandparents and family members live overseas so there wouldn't be a lot of weekends at grandpa and grandma
     
  19. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    You're an ibanker, but don't be an absentee parent. Mine were and I turned in to a cold-hearted conservative. [​IMG] Seriously though, my relationship with my father is luke-warm, partly because i didn't see a lot of him growing up. I never developed any comfort talking to him about anything besides politics, business, or history. To this day I can't talk to him about personal stuff (queue Ed).
     
  20. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    live on LI now, but while the cab thing doesn't work so well, a zip car is a good option.

    also, i always make time for the boys no matter how shot i am. i coach bball and baseball and make sure i am with them between 7 an 8:30 every night, and put them to bed before going to the gym. i had no dad around so i tend to overcompensate but that's better than undercompensating or repeating the pattern.



    Special question for the NYC dads (e.g. romafan and others): do I need to own a car now? Can I survive with cabs and occasional zipcars?

    I should note that all the grandparents and family members live overseas so there wouldn't be a lot of weekends at grandpa and grandma
     

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