1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

Give your best advice to an expecting father

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by gdl203, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    I had an interesting conversation over the weekend at a chess tournament with a couple of parents. the discussion started over whether you should teach your kid to give up when he sees that a game is lost, or to fight it out till the end. one guy was saying that as long as you keep fighting, the opponent could make a mistake and you could tie or maybe even win. once you give up you have lost. a woman was saying that she taught her son to concede, and save strength for the next game.

    so we ended up talking about this for a while, and I said how I thought teaching my kids to be tough was one of the most important things for me. that other things were secondary, that I really didn't care about chess, I thought it was good to teach my kids to focus and to push through to win (now, to clarify, I am not pushing my son to be a grand master, just to do as well as he can, but I have high standards in terms of working, focusing and being disciplined). anyway, she felt that I was overly "confrontational" in my life view. so she told me that her field was conflict resolution, that she had a PhD from a top business school in conflict resolution, and that was what she did, and that was why she felt I was overly confrontational and she taught her kids that they should work according to a more "cooperative" model.

    but then we talk some more and it turns out that she is teaching MBA students business writing , that the school didn't give her a job in her field, so she is teaching something that a TA usually teaches. it took pretty much all my willpower not to make a snarky comment on that.
     
  2. NorCal

    NorCal Senior member

    Messages:
    8,419
    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Oh, and thanks all for the trip advice.
     
  3. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

    Messages:
    29,119
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2006
    Location:
    Texas
    (...)
    but then we talk some more and it turns out that she is teaching MBA students business writing , that the school didn't give her a job in her field, so she is teaching something that a TA usually teaches. it took pretty much all my willpower not to make a snarky comment on that.


    [​IMG] I'm kinda proud of you for giving up the open shot like that.

    ...

    I don't have much good advice here since we came about our children differently, but I will say that once my son entered the school system, we have had a lot of work on our hands in terms of establishing and reinforcing expectations and accountability - both in terms of our son AND his teachers. Sometimes I wonder if I can put a teacher in detention for a few hours or so.
     
  4. Geoff Gander

    Geoff Gander Senior member

    Messages:
    963
    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2008
    Location:
    Ottawa, Canada
    there are things that you want to do with your wife, just the two of you, do them, now, right now.

    make sure that the doctors, and espectially the anesthesiologist, understand that you are rational, serous people. you want them to communicate with you when needed, but don't need them to fill you in with all the stupid details.

    get the twins on the same sleep schedule as quickly as possibe. this is easier said than done, but my wife did it very quickly (maybe 6 weeks) and it was very helpful.

    your wife will be nuts, totally freaking nuts, right before, during and after giving birth, maybe for a month or so after. suck it up. she will have huge amounts of hormones running through her.

    your job is not to be their friend, it is to give them tools to be healthy, successful adults.


    +1000 on all these. I would add the following:

    - Sleep when the babies sleep, if you can.

    - If someone offers to help you out (i.e., do grocery shopping for you, etc), stow your pride and take them up on the offer. You're going to be more tired than you can imagine.

    - Don't be afraid to ask for help once the babies are there.

    - If your wife wants you to see to the babies during the night, and they don't need feeding, do it.

    - If you think you've been tired before, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Nothing can compare to the bone-grinding exhaustion of looking after a baby. But, you will find that you have the strength to get through it. Mother nature provides, even to fathers.

    - This is for later, but this is also important: Babies develop at their own pace. You can't force them to walk, talk, or reach any other developmental milestone before they are ready to do so. If you try to push them, you're in for a world of frustration.

    And the most important one:

    Your life is about to change completely, but it will be so much fuller. You will have an opportunity to become an even better man than you were before.
     
  5. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    another twin issue - I find that one of my twins is much better at pretty much everything physical than the other one right now. frankly, I think that she is a little smarter, too. not a hell of a lot I can do with it, now. again, you have to suck it up and wait it out.
     
  6. Chico2007

    Chico2007 Senior member

    Messages:
    345
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    We should start a "best apps for the kids" thread. Id be curious what you think works. I know each kid is different, but there are some apps she opens and is mesmerized with - and others she just turns off 1-2-3.

    Other than Angry Birds, Let's Golf,Thomas the Train, and Air Hockey, my kids (2&4) like this app called "Talking Carl". The kids talk into it and "Carl" the red monster, repeats it in a silly voice.

    They crack themselves up with this thing.
    They usually lose interest after 5 minutes which is good b/c after that it can get a little annoying.
     
  7. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

    Messages:
    36,649
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2005
    Location:
    New York
    One of my boys LOVES that Flightcontrol game
     
  8. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

    Messages:
    36,649
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2005
    Location:
    New York
  9. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

    Messages:
    21,170
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    ^ lol... good one gdl!
     
  10. NOBD

    NOBD Senior member

    Messages:
    8,666
    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2008
  11. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

    Messages:
    68,895
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2010
    Location:
    Charm City
    I have to resurrect this thread with this gem for all the parents of toddlers out there - some of this will surely resonate [​IMG]

    it seems the author has been spying on our family bedtime routine [​IMG]
     
  12. ruzzi

    ruzzi Senior member

    Messages:
    255
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Location:
    Australia
    first kid due in 3 weeks. woot!
     
  13. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

    Messages:
    36,649
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2005
    Location:
    New York
    My kid is such a newyorker - the first words that he read spontaneously on his own were "hot dog" and "new york"... :D
     
  14. Kai

    Kai Senior member

    Messages:
    3,189
    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2003
    


    My daughter's first word was "shoes!!!"

    (she takes after me, I guess.)
     
  15. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    

    my son didn't say anything for a while. then, one day we visited the US (before we lived here) and we are walking in a park, he sees some ducks (he had never seen a live duck before) points at it and says "duck" . my wife and I jsut cracked up
     
  16. emptym

    emptym Senior member Moderator

    Messages:
    7,320
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Great thread guys. Lots of terrific advice and I'm sure I'll be back here again and again in the near future.

    Right now, we're looking to purchase a good stroller/carseat combo. So far, the Britex B-Agile/B-Safe one looks like the forerunner. Anyone have any experience with them or other, similar ones that you'd recommend? The Britax looks and sounds great. People just complain about the seat being heavy.

    We're also looking for a good crib mattress, preferably latex.

    Thanks in advance.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2013
  17. twistoffat

    twistoffat Senior member

    Messages:
    486
    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2009
    Having Gone through the Children thing twice and them still being a work in process may I suggest not buying a Combo. Its a royal pain in the expletive to be always removing the car seat. Also depending on how much walking you do when the wheels do get worn down the whole lot is useless. Buy a decent car seat with isofix and get a reasonably priced buggy for when you are out walking. Buggy get bashed and abused and I´ve gone through approx 3 with each Child. Man they grow up s fast, Cherish it :nodding:
     
  18. Dewi

    Dewi Senior member

    Messages:
    461
    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2010
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    

    Really glad this thread got bumped. Y Ferch is supposed to arrive in 4 weeks, so I have a feeling I'll be re-reading this thread frequently.

    We picked up this foam mattress for Y Ferch's crib.
     
  19. emptym

    emptym Senior member Moderator

    Messages:
    7,320
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Thanks guys.

    Twistoffat, interesting perspective on the combo. My brother loves 'em, since they decrease the likelihood that the kid will wake up when going home. I'll check out isofix though.

    Dewi, I saw that thread, but the ingredients look a little iffy. Sealy has a latex, soybean model that looks promising.

    Here's the cheapest latex, wool, cotton one I've found: http://www.sleepez.com/crib.htm

    May go w/ that one. Am leaning toward latex, since it's hypoallergenic and we've heard other foams off-gas toxins. Not sure how true that is though. We have a latex matress w/ wool batting and a cotton cover and it's been great.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2013
  20. Amelorn

    Amelorn Senior member

    Messages:
    213
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2011
    If it hasn't been said already, circumcision is unnecessary.
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by