Girls who are out of your league.

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Tokyo Slim, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. poorsod

    poorsod Senior member

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    Dated a girl out of my league. Was great at the time, made me really appreciate her. Though in retrospect I probably just raised my standards after that [​IMG]

    I don't think so much there are really leagues (and that's honestly in the mindset of the girl and how stuck up she is) but I think there's kind of a reacher and settler thing in a lot of relationships.


    I suspect most relationships are asymmetric, one party likes the other party more. It is unlikely for both parties to like each other exactly the same. The degree of asymmetry OTOH is another matter.
     
  2. Lel

    Lel Senior member

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    i'm curious to know...when you approach or try to date a girl who's out of your league (physically)...are you aware of it? and if so, what makes you think she won't notice/care? i'm starting to think some men seem to develop these complexes where they see themselves as sexy and desirable to every woman, even the ones that are obviously painfully more attractive than they are, and then act perplexed when that woman isn't interested.

    my friends and i often discuss our confusion over the confidence levels of men who (if they were women) would be crying on their sofa in a kaftan eating a bucket of ice cream watching grey's anatomy because no man would ever want them.


    I don't think "out of someone's league" implies only physical attraction. It's a part of it, for sure, but definitely NOT the only component.

    As for equating attractiveness between the sexes... that's kind of a mixed bag. Most guys will agree on some certain standard of "yeah I'd fuck her" but girls have too many different tastes for how guys look to standardize it.
     
  3. BDC2823

    BDC2823 Senior member

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    League is a non-consideration in my day-to-day life. It's not like I'd have any more to talk about with SerBeast than I would with Adriana Lima. The rare instances where I have anything at all to do with a woman are more by accident than by design, least of all mine. I'm not even sure what my "league" is, although I'm sure there are people here who would be more than happy to inform me.

    You are in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
     
  4. Connemara

    Connemara [URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jST2Sv63WQ']

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    You are in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
    [​IMG] [​IMG][​IMG]
     
  5. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    I specifically tried to steer the conversation away from this shit with my original post.

    But whatever. [​IMG]


    Yeah, you did, and yeah, I agree, it's gotten pretty Bro in here.

    As for me, last time I thought a girl was out of my league was a few weeks ago, some Indonesian DJ's older sister was just really really hot. I just kinda thought 'fuck it, head up, shoulders back, and go for it, if I get jacked, she's on a plane tomorrow, what have I got to lose'. It was great practice, and ended well for me.

    Does great things for the confidence when something like that happens....good to surprise ourselves once in a while.
     
  6. Lel

    Lel Senior member

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    I specifically tried to steer the conversation away from this shit with my original post.

    But whatever. [​IMG]


    Enlighten us on your situation.

    For me it turned out to be the big surprise that the girl was just as into me as I was into her. And yes, she was way, way out of my league, and to make matters worse, it was still high school so stuff like "leagues" really do exist... as much as people wanted them to at least.

    But like I said, it made me raise my standards for better or for worse who knows. Sometimes I feel like I could "do better" but on the bright side I have a better understanding of what I want out of a girl (non-physically).
     
  7. Listi

    Listi Senior member

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    I don't think you can entirely. I agree with you that you can certainly notice that someone is far smarter than you or much more attractive or something but does that mean they are above you in all aspects of life to the point where you can't even have meaningful interactions?
    Huh? I think my post stated the exact opposite of what you're saying. I can have plenty of meaningful interactions with women out of my league, meaningful interactions not including sex. I can have plenty of meaningful interactions with people smarter than myself, meaningful interactions not involving theoretical mathematics or quantum physics. If a girl is out of my league, I don't worry about sexual things, which is what I was trying to say in that "girls who are out of my league aren't as attractive to me." If you know there is no chance, why bother walking down that path? As for confidence, sure I have confidence. I've asked out beautiful women I didn't even know, but there is a huge difference between being beautiful and being out of someone's league. It's not a difficulty to obtain, I don't see women as something to obtain. lol at the undergrads with acne part, although I am an undergrad, I don't have skin or self image problems, I quite love the way I look for the most part. And if you think skinny and pale are two good traits, I'm a catch and a half. And, although we're probably breaking up soon, my girlfriend is quite beautiful. I don't really have problems with this sort of thing myself. But if you take it upon yourself to start flirting with someone out of your league, if they didn't initiate it, that's just bad practice, and something that, in my opinion, is not worth doing. If you meet a cool girl, and she's super super hot, don't waste your time, just make friends. Having hot friends is a VERY good thing! Of course, if things seem to be happening, nothing wrong with trying, but don't try to spark them up out of nothing.
     
  8. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    i'm curious to know...when you approach or try to date a girl who's out of your league (physically)...are you aware of it? and if so, what makes you think she won't notice/care? i'm starting to think some men seem to develop these complexes where they see themselves as sexy and desirable to every woman, even the ones that are obviously painfully more attractive than they are, and then act perplexed when that woman isn't interested.

    my friends and i often discuss our confusion over the confidence levels of men who (if they were women) would be crying on their sofa in a kaftan eating a bucket of ice cream watching grey's anatomy because no man would ever want them.


    See the video in post 39. Uncle Wayne answers the question perfectly.
     
  9. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    My girlfriend is incredibly far out of my league. Not really even in the same galaxy.
    I deserve a bitchy woman who is ugly and disgusting. I got quite the opposite.
     
  10. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    ^we are in complete agreement on this point.
     
  11. makker

    makker Senior member

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    Pics of these "out of league women" or it didnt happen.
     
  12. HgaleK

    HgaleK Senior member

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    I specifically tried to steer the conversation away from this shit with my original post. But whatever. [​IMG]
    +1 on the needing to the know the situation. I've managed to do pretty well. Even in high school, when I was not quite in the same shape as I am now, it wasn't bad. It all came down to confidence for me. I got no tail when I didn't believe in myself, became an angry douchebag (which was apparently mistaken for confidence?) and ended up getting laid. It became actual confidence with experience later. More importantly though- is there any risk if you go for it and get stuffed? You seem to have plenty of swagger, no? Edit: With the whole league thing, I feel that both men and women have a threshold attractiveness. At some point, no number of redeeming will get you anything except for maybe a hookup with someone. However, as long as you don't fall on the wrong side of that line, you have a chance to work your game. They don't have to rate you a 10, or equally attractive, or take your pick- you just can't be bad to be seen with. Otherwise you aren't even getting in the door. There are plenty of attractive women with really low self esteem though. I know a few girls who are dating guys well below their standards (red neck, unattractive, and not particularly intelligent men) who are with them because they were the first to ask.
     
  13. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    +1 on the needing to the know the situation.

    I've managed to do pretty well. Even in high school, when I was not quite in the same shape as I am now, it wasn't bad. It all came down to confidence for me. I got no tail when I didn't believe in myself, became an angry douchebag (which was apparently mistaken for confidence?) and ended up getting laid. It became actual confidence with experience later.

    More importantly though- is there any risk if you go for it and get stuffed? You seem to have plenty of swagger, no?


    Edit: With the whole league thing, I feel that both men and women have a threshold attractiveness. At some point, no number of redeeming will get you anything except for maybe a hookup with someone. However, as long as you don't fall on the wrong side of that line, you have a chance to work your game. They don't have to rate you a 10, or equally attractive, or take your pick- you just can't be bad to be seen with. Otherwise you aren't even getting in the door. There are plenty of attractive women with really low self esteem though. I know a few girls who are dating guys well below their standards (red neck, unattractive, and not particularly intelligent men) who are with them because they were the first to ask.


    That's pretty harsh on kwilk.
     
  14. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan White Hispanic

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    Me and a friend are in this dive bar in St. Pete when this blonde girl walks in with some douchebag guy. This girl looks almost exactly like Elisha Cuthbert, but with a rather large (and I later found, natural, rack). The entire bar turns and stares - she was that hot. Anyway, after a while my friend and I got back to conversation. After about fifteen minutes, my friend says, "you know, FLMM, I don't think she's with that guy." I reply "hah, yeah, let me go run over and hit on her. Are you kidding me?" We joked a bit and continued to ogle her.

    Anyway, after about a half-hour, she walks up and begins hitting on me. I was so floored, between her beauty and all the guys now giving me looks that ranged from anger to encouragement to bewilderment. I soon get an agreement to go out that weekend and her number. Unfortunately, after about an hour of talking, I realized she was absolutely hammered. I got her some water, and called her a cab (douchebag guy had disappeared). I called her afterwards, talked to her sister, and made sure she was alright.

    So...the next day I call her and she does not even remember us talking about going out (my heart sank). Still, I talk her into going out.

    I pick her up, she looks amazing. Her family is incredibly wealthy - homes in Tuscany, on Lake Michigan, and a few in a really nice part of St. Pete Beach. She also loves to cook. We have a great two-month go at things. I spend most nights at her place. Then, one weekend she asks if I'll go to Tuscany with her family for the summer. I explain that I can't leave work & school for that long, but I'll fly over for two or three weeks. She seems hurt (WTF?), but agrees. We go out the next night, and she seems really distant.

    So, I call her the next night and she doesn't even call back. I call again, same thing. I never heard back from her. To this day, it's the weirdest break-up I ever had.

    I found out later she ditched me for a near-All-Star outfielder, then playing for the Devil Rays

    Still, dating her gave me huge confidence and I haven't dated an ugly/average girl since.
     
  15. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    ^we are in complete agreement on this point.

    That's pretty harsh on kwilk.

    [​IMG]
     

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