Girlfriend's Crazy Ex-Boyfriend - what to do?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Incman, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. RSS

    RSS Senior member

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    Given the circumstances ... I'd remove myself as far as possible from all involved ... including the girl.
     


  2. Joenobody0

    Joenobody0 Senior member

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    You sound like a codependent teenager who wants the thrill of saving a girl who's "really worth it" and "been through some hard times". Do whatever you want and maybe some day you'll grow up.
     


  3. sartorialism

    sartorialism Senior member

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    Not quite sure what you mean by it's his place. They've been splitting the rent for the 2 or so years they've lived together, and it's only been the past couple months that his dad's been paying, because her ex couldn't come up with his share. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I'm 19, she's 21. He's 26. He was 21 dating and manipulating a 16 year old.

    I am treading as carefully as I can, but I've never been this sure about anything or anyone, so it's not something I want to (or am even able to) throw away just like that.


    My criticism aside, the sincerity of your love is quite touching. This feels like the beginning of a classic (in the Shakespeare sense) tragic romance...
     


  4. Incman

    Incman Senior member

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    Get a hold of the note and get a restraining order. Don't be a tough guy. Just because he hasn't been violent before doesn't mean there won't be a first time.

    I talked to my gf this morning, and told her to take the note with her when she went to work, so I will have it tonight when she comes over, and will be filing a police report ASAP. How does it work to get a restraining order, do I just ask when filing the report, or does it involve lawyers and such? And I am certainly not a tough guy in the sense of talking shit back and forth, I would never do that.
     


  5. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    you need to dump her. his craziness aside, she still lives with him and it's too soon after too long of a relationship for anything good to come of this. think about why a girl would stay with a guy like that for so long. this is "don't" dating 101.
     


  6. Incman

    Incman Senior member

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    Given the circumstances ... I'd remove myself as far as possible from all involved ... including the girl.

    Much easier said than done.

    You sound like a codependent teenager who wants the thrill of saving a girl who's "really worth it" and "been through some hard times". Do whatever you want and maybe some day you'll grow up.

    Not even close.

    My criticism aside, the sincerity of your love is quite touching. This feels like the beginning of a classic (in the Shakespeare sense) tragic romance...

    Not sure if you're just being facetious, but I'm as sincere as they come.
     


  7. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

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    Get a hold of the note and get a restraining order. Don't be a tough guy. Just because he hasn't been violent before doesn't mean there won't be a first time.
    This is probably the best course of action, but a restraining order doesn't come with a 24/7 police escort. And you never know, the restraining order might enrage this guy further.

    I endorse the recommendations to tread carefully. Honestly, in a few years, you'll probably look back on this situation and say, "Man, I can't believe I thought I was in love with that woman with the crazy ex."
     


  8. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt The Liberator Dubiously Honored

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    PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually having sex with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.
     


  9. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually having sex with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.

    [​IMG]
     


  10. Incman

    Incman Senior member

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    you need to dump her. his craziness aside, she still lives with him and it's too soon after too long of a relationship for anything good to come of this. think about why a girl would stay with a guy like that for so long. this is "don't" dating 101.

    While my logical side pretty much agrees with you, it has progressed past that point and I can't just up and leave.

    Anyways, this thread wasn't asking for relationship advice, as I'm well aware that common sense and logic should dictate that I GTFO. However, as mentioned, I'm in love with this girl, and I know we'll be together for a long time. Perhaps it's the dumb teenager in me (inb4 someone bolds and +1's that), but I'm willing to put up with the baggage because she's more than worth it.

    I created this thread to ask for advice as to what I should do in the case her boyfriend tries to confront/attack me at work.
     


  11. Incman

    Incman Senior member

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    PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually having sex with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     


  12. Teacher

    Teacher Senior member

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    I talked to my gf this morning, and told her to take the note with her when she went to work, so I will have it tonight when she comes over, and will be filing a police report ASAP. How does it work to get a restraining order, do I just ask when filing the report, or does it involve lawyers and such? And I am certainly not a tough guy in the sense of talking shit back and forth, I would never do that.

    I'm not sure about where you live, but temporary restraining orders are issued by the police (usually, at least) and aren't really that hard to get (again, usually). No lawyers are needed. Beyond that, I'm not sure. And of course, Ambulance Chaser is right: it's not a guarantee of protection. Still, if he violates it in any way, he can get into trouble, a restraining order is better than not having one.
     


  13. sartorialism

    sartorialism Senior member

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    Not sure if you're just being facetious, but I'm as sincere as they come.
    First you think I'm trolling and now this? I'm sincere, too! I think it's sweet. I think you're all nuts, but kinda sweet. Even ex's rage is touching, considering murder for love. It's an old-fashioned idea, but it always strikes a cord and evokes sympathy, empathy, tragedy and even respect. Again, I'm being as sincere and earnest as I've ever been. I promise.
    I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly.
    +1
     




  14. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    While my logical side pretty much agrees with you, it has progressed past that point and I can't just up and leave. Anyways, this thread wasn't asking for relationship advice, as I'm well aware that common sense and logic should dictate that I GTFO. However, as mentioned, I'm in love with this girl, and I know we'll be together for a long time. Perhaps it's the dumb teenager in me (inb4 someone bolds and +1's that), but I'm willing to put up with the baggage because she's more than worth it. I created this thread to ask for advice as to what I should do in the case her boyfriend tries to confront/attack me at work.
    alright, but leaving really isn't as hard as you're making it, and in this instance is a)probably worth it, and b) will solve the problem you began this thread for. two months is smitten, not love. incidentally i'm willing to bet that she won't file any restraining order and he won't come after you. looking forward to the 2012 "I can't believe I just spent the past two years of my life with this girl" thread.
     


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