Girl advice: making this work

[Matt]

in a lot of ways it doesn't matter, but just make it fun. If youre broke, take her to a ******* playground and push her on the swings. Hell, I'm 33 and recently enough took a girl to a ball-crawl in a coffee shop playroom and had a blast rolling around, pelting each other with the balls and throwing small children around. Take her to a climbing wall. Gokarting. Who cares? Something fun. Follow that with coffee, and then you have something to talk about.

I do tend to follow the iPUA advice about bouncing girls around on dates, it does tend to lead them to a false sense of shared experience...so keep her somewhere for like 30 mins, then elsewhere, 30 mins, then elsewhere....works for me cos in two hours, you have done a bunch, shared a bunch, had a bunch of fun, and now have a bunch to talk about.

But make your intentions clear early kiddo. You're not her sister, and don't let her treat you like one...and don't be scared of the phrase "I'm not your ******* sister"...

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by Matt

in a lot of ways it doesn't matter, but just make it fun. If youre broke, take her to a ******* playground and push her on the swings. Hell, I'm 33 and recently enough took a girl to a ball-crawl in a coffee shop playroom and had a blast rolling around, pelting each other with the balls and throwing small children around. Take her to a climbing wall. Gokarting. Who cares? Something fun. Follow that with coffee, and then you have something to talk about.

I do tend to follow the iPUA advice about bouncing girls around on dates, it does tend to lead them to a false sense of shared experience...so keep her somewhere for like 30 mins, then elsewhere, 30 mins, then elsewhere....works for me cos in two hours, you have done a bunch, shared a bunch, had a bunch of fun, and now have a bunch to talk about.

But make your intentions clear early kiddo. You're not her sister, and don't let her treat you like one.

In the end, in the relatively closed up world of most teenagers just sayin it is half the battle. I mean she's already hanging out with you if you took her for coffee or whatever.

 

[willpower]

Museum can be fun. Good place to flirt with girls.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags.

 

[billsayers]

Hate to disappoint the original poster because he is so young but...the girl is not interested and nothing will ever develop between you two.

She probably thinks you are a loser for trying to chat with her even she made it clear that there is nothing between you two. If a girl is interested, she will not beat around the bush and jump at the chance to hang out with you when you ask.

The best thing for you to do is walk away in order to save what little dignity you have left. Just find a way to hate her and the pain will eventually subside.

Convince yourself that she probably has ****** taste in music, watches crap reality shows, has sweaty hands/smelly feet, wears cheap clothes from H&M, etc... Sour grapes? Of course, but a little acidity goes a long way in helping a person get over someone (even if it was unrequited).

 

[Listi]

Originally Posted by willpower

From a female post on another forum: I've never been one to make friends and then discover the attraction later on, if I'm initially attracted to the person I make it very clear and am even more attracted if they feel and show the same without fear. If they don't share that, if they prefer to give the illusion of a friendship, displaying no hint of interest, and then ask me out a year later, I guarantee I will reject them.
I've plenty of real life experience in this not being the case for all women. My ex started dating her ex after knowing him for 2 years. One of my roommates went on his first date with one of his ex's after they knew each other for 3 months. I'm sure I could come up with more occasions, stuff similar to it has happened to me (just that it didn't go anywhere.) I'd say if you like someone, always try. But trying as in "Ask her out asap, if she says no, it's done. Find someone else." Asking someone out right away is always the best, think about if you just met a nice and attractive girl and she asked you out... Wouldn't you be intrigued? And rejection gets a lot softer over time, first time it's like "oh god world is crumbling nooooo" the 5th time it's like "*crack a beer* Ahh, refreshing. Well now that that's over with..."

 

[pseudonym]

Originally Posted by Sebastian_Flyte

Girls don't want that. Who would? Girls want a cool, confident guy who is interesting, who does interesting things and who gives THEM value: you make them laugh, you show them cool things, you teach them about cool things. Needy is the biggest turn-off in the world.

If you strive to make all your interactions with girls (and people in general), value-giving as opposed to the 99% of people who are merely value-taking, everyone will always welcome your company.

I need a guide on this value-giving (and examples of it).

 

[Listi]

There are girls who are looking for everything. You don't think there are plenty of needy girls out there looking for a needy guy? They're probably not super cute in most cases though. I mean just look around at how many sub-par girls are walking around, if you're willing to drop your standards... But honestly, that's not a good route to go. I know people with low standards, it's gross. They get into so much drama with the girls too, and can't bring themselves to just be like "you were an easy lay, **** off"

 

[Sebastian_Flyte]

Originally Posted by pseudonym

I need a guide on this value-giving (and examples of it).
How many people do you know who sit back and wait for others to entertain them? For others to make and organize the plans? For other to make them laugh? For others to bring the energy, to find cool events going on, to choose the music, to pick the menu item, to choose the bar? I know plenty. A value-giver is someone who does all those things, and not because you expect things in return, but because you've got a lot of energy and a lot of things going on and it's who you are. Don't do things for people, make jokes etc seeking a reaction. Do what you do-- don't wait for a reaction from people or care if they respond/react. Sorry if this is kind of vague

 

[pseudonym]

Originally Posted by Sebastian_Flyte

How many people do you know who sit back and wait for others to entertain them? For others to make and organize the plans? For other to make them laugh? For others to bring the energy, to find cool events going on, to choose the music, to pick the menu item, to choose the bar? I know plenty.

A value-giver is someone who does all those things, and not because you expect things in return, but because you've got a lot of energy and a lot of things going on and it's who you are. Don't do things for people, make jokes etc seeking a reaction. Do what you do-- don't wait for a reaction from people or care if they respond/react.

Sorry if this is kind of vague

So..

Disregard bitches, acquire currency?

 

[Joffrey]

Ok, I've read through the thread a bit. You say you're a lonely person. Instead of pursuing girls, you need to expand your social life. Meet new people - guys, girls, in general people you have no romantic interest in. By doing so you will have interesting, fun things going on in your life. In addition, you will meet girls outside of this group (or maybe within) that you take a special interest in. Then you can ask them out - lunch, sports event, concert, party, coffee, and when hanging with them you can use the interesting things you've been involved in during the past few months to spark a conversation (not about what you've been up to, but what she has) as your experiences will add to what you can say (so that you don't have coffee with someone and leave them bored to tears).

IF you date or hang out with a girl that just wants to cuddle. You are being used or she will turn psycho on you. There's no fun in either of that. Especially since you probably won't be getting any action.

 

[brandall10]

Originally Posted by Listi

I've plenty of real life experience in this not being the case for all women.

Either

1) There are women who are the analogues of the shy guy. They do the friends before lovers thing for the most part, because they don't have the cool confident guys approaching - they just don't attract that type.

2) Situations dicate otherwise. One or the other is in a relationship, distance, job, etc.

 

[phoenixrecon]

cut off your ear and give it to her in a box.







since you already seem to have lost your balls

 

[Listi]

Originally Posted by brandall10

Either 1) There are women who are the analogues of the shy guy. They do the friends before lovers thing for the most part, because they don't have the cool confident guys approaching - they just don't attract that type. 2) Situations dicate otherwise. One or the other is in a relationship, distance, job, etc.
Or possibly everyone is different, you know, might want to give that one a thought. Instead of lumping the entire female population into two reasons why they are different from another girl. I agree there are things that might turn the crank of the "majority" but there are tons of girls who are not like the "majority." And I'd debate about the majority only being the majority because of people thinking this way, and not because it's the natural way to think. But that's a whole different argument altogether.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by Phantom9309

Never get caught up on a girl. Let them get caught up on you.

+1000.

Bottom line: it's a numbers game.

 

[insomb]

i agree no coffee. also never talk about school, talk about something personal, and take her somewhere personal, but at the same time, stop trying to get to know her. here's what i would do, ask her if she wants to watch a movie at your house, that's pretty personal and if she says yes, it means she'll probably ******** with you. i don't think you necessarily blew it depending on what her friend said on fb, but if you have a chance in hell you better step it up and do something bold without giving off anymore creepy vibes. you know that nervous feeling you get when you're around her, don't try to cover that up by talking about **** nobody cares about, look her dead in her eyes while you're thinking about how tight her ass is and say, wanna come over and watch a movie at my house? if she say's no then it's not like you said anything incredibly stupid.. if she say's yes, make a move when she comes over.

edit: p.s. do not ask her via facebook, ask her face to face.