Getting Married! Need some help with the tux

[johnci]

Hello everyone. Looking for some help getting dressed for my big day. I have a pretty good feel for what I want to wear, but would like some suggestions with my groomsmen's outfits. I am wearing a shawl lapel, cumberbund, and batwing bowtie, black and white. My questions are:


Is it ok to dress my groomsmen in tuxedos different from my own? Do they all have to match each other?

Can they wear a pocketsquare AND a flower on the lapel, or is that too busy?

I want to buy my tux instead of rent. I have a few questions about that. 1, the woman at the tuxedo shop told me that she would take my measurements and basically ask which of the manufacturers were least busy and able to do it. I asked about a designer label, and she essentially told me that Perry Ellis, Abboud, etc, just slap their labels on tuxes from the few manufacturers, there's no difference between that and an unlabeled one. Is that true? If so, what a sham! She said the main difference between a cheaper and pricier tux was the thread count.

If I get my own tux, I don't know how often I will wear it. Is it appropriate to wear a tuxedo to a wedding if you aren't in the bridal party? Or is that showing up the most important people at the event?

Thanks for any help.

 

[DerekS]

Im getting married in the summer and I personally just dont like tuxedos. I think im buying a dark charcoal suit and wearing that....who knows.

 

[DanielFM]

Just to make sure- will the wedding actually take place in the evening? If the ceremony is a morning/daytime wedding, I'd strongly advise against evening wear. I'm all about Jesse Thorn when it comes to many things in men's style, especially weddings. Read his posts about them here: http://putthison.com/tagged/Weddings

 

[Xiaogou]

What time of day is the wedding? If it is daytime you might want to consider a morning coat.

No pocketsquares.

Originally Posted by johnci

Hello everyone. Looking for some help getting dressed for my big day. I have a pretty good feel for what I want to wear, but would like some suggestions with my groomsmen's outfits. I am wearing a shawl lapel, cumberbund, and batwing bowtie, black and white. My questions are:


Is it ok to dress my groomsmen in tuxedos different from my own? Do they all have to match each other?

Can they wear a pocketsquare AND a flower on the lapel, or is that too busy?

I want to buy my tux instead of rent. I have a few questions about that. 1, the woman at the tuxedo shop told me that she would take my measurements and basically ask which of the manufacturers were least busy and able to do it. I asked about a designer label, and she essentially told me that Perry Ellis, Abboud, etc, just slap their labels on tuxes from the few manufacturers, there's no difference between that and an unlabeled one. Is that true? If so, what a sham! She said the main difference between a cheaper and pricier tux was the thread count.

If I get my own tux, I don't know how often I will wear it. Is it appropriate to wear a tuxedo to a wedding if you aren't in the bridal party? Or is that showing up the most important people at the event?

Thanks for any help.

 

[Gent]

Originally Posted by johnci

Is it ok to dress my groomsmen in tuxedos different from my own? Do they all have to match each other?

Quite frankly, I can think of few things that come off worse than a bunch of guys in identical wear, whatever the occasion.

Conforming dress: great.
Identical dress: RENTAL!!!

 

[johnci]

Originally Posted by DanielFM

Just to make sure- will the wedding actually take place in the evening? If the ceremony is a morning/daytime wedding, I'd strongly advise against evening wear.

I'm all about Jesse Thorn when it comes to many things in men's style, especially weddings. Read his posts about them here:

http://putthison.com/tagged/Weddings


Thank you for the response. The wedding is at 3:30, and the party is 6-midnight.

 

[DanielFM]

Originally Posted by johnci

Thank you for the response. The wedding is at 3:30, and the party is 6-midnight.

Definitely nix the tuxes then, and opt for a quality, well-fitting Charcoal suit. You'll look amazing for your wedding, and you'll have a great suit you can wear for the rest of your life rather than hardly ever!

 

[tropics]

Originally Posted by johnci

If I get my own tux, I don't know how often I will wear it.

why don't you just buy a gangsta-ass suit instead?

 

[DerekS]

Originally Posted by DanielFM

Definitely nix the tuxes then, and opt for a quality, well-fitting Charcoal suit. You'll look amazing for your wedding, and you'll have a great suit you can wear for the rest of your life rather than hardly ever!

this is what i needed to hear to justify my purchase of a new Isaia suit. heheheehe. Thanks.

 

[johnci]

I'm aware of the daytime/nighttime rules, but I am going to go tux. I wouldn't get the bride to go along with anything else anyway.

 

[tropics]

keep an eye on gilt. i got a baller corneliani tux for my wedding a few months back for $$ cheap.
2 of my groomsmen had rental tux and one bought his own black suit. looked fine. bear in mind this was an irish wedding so the focus was on the booze!

 

[Doc4]

I'd say the groomsmen should at least be "quite similar" in dress, and they as a group should be "similar to, but just a step down from, the Groom" so you get pride of place ... looking at the photos later, no one should have to ask "which one is getting married?" So as long as they all wear tuxedoes, then you are probably fine ... just make sure they are all black, no midnight blue ... and for the love of all the is holy, no powder blue.

Pocketsquare & flower together is fine in my book. The PS is, of course, white linen.

The woman in the store is probably right about some labels ... lord knows if you ask around here for an opinion about a Hugo Boss tuxedo you'll get some answers ... but there ARE some better ones out there too. Get something good; it's still a better use of money than the bridal dress, and you just might use it again sometime.

You have answered your own question about wearing a tux to someone else's wedding. Wear it to a wedding IF it meets the "daytime" rule (and my exception) and if it will fit in your role as guest ... but I think weddings that are so formal as to allow a tux from a guest is pretty rare nowadays.

Originally Posted by johnci

The wedding is at 3:30, and the party is 6-midnight.

Originally Posted by DanielFM

Definitely nix the tuxes then ...

There is an exception to the "no tux before 6pm" rule ... which is that you CAN wear a tux in the daytime IF you are going directly to an evening funcion where you will be wearing the tux in a time-appropriate fashion. IE: no time to change from the daytime formalwear into the evening formalwear.

There is a further, even more unbreakable rule for tuxes at weddings ...

Originally Posted by johnci

I'm aware of the daytime/nighttime rules, but I am going to go tux. I wouldn't get the bride to go along with anything else anyway.

... wear whatever will get you the "yes" from the bride.

 

[malat]

Do folks still wear tuxedos? I thought that was a bit tired and lacked imagination. I got married in Oct and wore a gray Zegna suit with subtle glenplaid navy threading.

The pic below of the fabric is not exact, but it's one that I found on the web that is pretty darn close. The other is an actual picture of me in my suit. It was a 6pm wedding. Click below for larger images.

Our wedding photos look so much more contemporary and interesting than with a tired tuxedo.

 

[johnci]

Originally Posted by Doc4

I'd say the groomsmen should at least be "quite similar" in dress, and they as a group should be "similar to, but just a step down from, the Groom" so you get pride of place ... looking at the photos later, no one should have to ask "which one is getting married?" So as long as they all wear tuxedoes, then you are probably fine ... just make sure they are all black, no midnight blue ... and for the love of all the is holy, no powder blue.

Pocketsquare & flower together is fine in my book. The PS is, of course, white linen.

The woman in the store is probably right about some labels ... lord knows if you ask around here for an opinion about a Hugo Boss tuxedo you'll get some answers ... but there ARE some better ones out there too. Get something good; it's still a better use of money than the bridal dress, and you just might use it again sometime.

You have answered your own question about wearing a tux to someone else's wedding. Wear it to a wedding IF it meets the "daytime" rule (and my exception) and if it will fit in your role as guest ... but I think weddings that are so formal as to allow a tux from a guest is pretty rare nowadays.







There is an exception to the "no tux before 6pm" rule ... which is that you CAN wear a tux in the daytime IF you are going directly to an evening funcion where you will be wearing the tux in a time-appropriate fashion. IE: no time to change from the daytime formalwear into the evening formalwear.

There is a further, even more unbreakable rule for tuxes at weddings ...



... wear whatever will get you the "yes" from the bride.

Thanks Doc. How would you recommend I set myself apart? Maybe a gold pocketsquare, all others have white? Wedding colors are pink, gold, navy. I know I am wearing bow tie and cumberbund, and was planning on putting groomsmen in bow ties and vests maybe

 

[LaoHu]

Originally Posted by Doc4

Pocketsquare & flower together is fine in my book. The PS is, of course, white linen.

+1