Getting a social life started

[coolron]

Hey guys, I'm a new SF member. I'm a 20 year old college student from New England. I've moved around a bit in my life and have social anxiety so I haven't really had friends, much less a date, since high school. I commute to my college and haven't really made any friends even though I'm finishing up my junior year. I'm just lost on how to get started. Thanks in advance.

 

[JeffTR]

Hey Coolron,

What do you like to do?

 

[MPAVictoria]

Hey Man,
We have all been there here is just a little friendly advice:
1. Look for a group activity that you enjoy doing. It could be sports, think something like rec dodgeball if you are not super athletic, or it could be something else. I joined a team in a local pub trivia league when I first moved to my current location. Lots of fun and I have been lucky to make a couple pretty close friends. The more things you do with people the better your chances of making some new friends.
2. Hang around on campus more. You are not going to meet people or make friends at home. Try and study on campus. Maybe organise a regular study group with some classmates and then go for a beer afterward.
3. Consider starting a part time job. A lot of my best friends are former and current work colleagues.

Good luck

 

[perkynipman]

You have to be more open and overcome ur social anxiety. You can do everything MPAVictoria said but if you cant bring yourself to talk to people in those situations ur still not gonna make any friends.

I used to be a shy guy and had a bit of social anxiety, social situations always came up but i could never take advantage of them. I eventually got into a situation like u are in now where i realized that i wasn't doing what i wanted. What worked for me is when a situation came up, that i realized my anxiety was getting in the way, i simply recognized it, manned up, and pretended i didn't have any anxiety. Pretending to be the person u really want to be or think you are will take you a long way and eventually u will become that person!

its the same idea as bungee jumping or skydiving, you get to that point where ur staring down, your rethinking what the hell got you up there, ur scared, but you know what you got to do, you just need to jump.

 

[coolron]

Thanks for the advice guys. It's a commuter campus set in an urban area. It's pretty much more like a high school then a college so most people don't really hang out around there. I'll try and go out and find activities nearby though. I enjoy traveling, shopping, food and video games.

 

[eglbc]

drugs!

selling drugs gets you in tons of fun scenarios. Go to the dorms, meet some people who are partying, and break out. Pretty soon things willl happen.

If not that....

Remember this is the point in your life when you can get away with anything, and have little to no responsibility beyond making grades. Embrace it knowing its your one chance to define who you want to be. No one has expectations for you but yourself.