Getting a life

[gimmickimo]

How does an early 20s male get a life? My parents controlled my every move til I was 18 and I became a bit of a hermit. Obviously there is no excuse to have continued that trend into my 20s but I didn't go to college, instead went straight to work and feel that hurt my social life a bit. I used to have a small group of friends in high school but when they got into hard drugs I quit hanging out with them. I now have two friends, one who just left for the military and another whom I hang out with occasionally but don't go to bars etc. with because he doesn't drink socially.

My days typically consist of working then coming home and playing drums then watching TV or reading (I am interested in stock trading so I read a lot of trading books). My friends and I also like golf, camping, fishing, etc. but I don't go often for the reasons mentioned above.

Aside from not having any friends I'm really not a freak or weird dude. I'm a normal looking guy and am comfortable in crowds, around girls etc. I make conversation with my coworkers and the students (who are around my age but I'm not allowed to date or hang out with them) at the school I work at. I have a great sense of humor and people seem to get along well with me. I don't have a problem with talking with people, I'm just never around people in my demographic who I can make plans with or whatever.

I was thinking of joining a club or group for golf or tennis or something. I live by a university, is going to a bar by myself and finding groups of people to talk to a decent idea? Any other suggestions?

 

[Hombre Secreto]

**** this.

NVM

 

[Wiker]

I feel you...

Maybe you could take some intresting courses at the university.
Or you could try online dating, even if you dont find your soulmate you could find a friend?

 

[Flambeur]

Go to school, join clubs/interest groups

 

[TheD0n]

My advice is to go places. Volunteering is a great way to meet people. Go to events at the university like guest speakers. Instead of reading at home, read at a coffee shop or the university commons and spark conversation with people around you abuot what they are reading/studying.

Don't go to a bar by yourself; bars are not a good place to meet people. I recommend meeting people in person rather than online. Just get out and talk to people, which it seems you don't have a problem with.

 

[downwithianbrown]

where do you live? that's a big question, cus moving to a big city is always a good idea for independence and new experiences.

 

[TheD0n]

I second the advice to move to a big city. My route through college was similar to yours, OP, and I just moved from a college town to Chicago to gain independence (and a life).

 

[Joffrey]

Quit going home from work just to watch TV and play the drums. Find hobbies that involve being around like minded people. Make friends with people you work with.

 

[celery]

Join a band that needs a drummer and become famous, you'll have chicks (or dudes if you prefer) all over you.

Then come back when you need advice on how to drop your coke habit and just "want it all to go away!"

And in 30-40 years we'll see you on VH1 (yes it will still be around, even after WWIII) on a top 100list of some sort. Good times.

 

[freeAgent]

Joining a tennis or golf group sounds like a good idea. I'm not the type to hang around at bars trying to meet people...not sure I'd recommend that. Does your friend have other friends? Once you've got a small circle, you can start networking with their friends to increase your own social circle. Having people over (like BBQ'ing), going to movies, or pretty much doing anything at all with other people are good ways to do this. Once you start getting invited to other people's events it's a lot easier.

 

[robbz9206]

bro... download a free demo of ableton live and make beats and start listening to drum and bass HARD>

liike netsky, danny byrd, logistics, and just go see the best shows in the city. You will get drunk and have the best time. also, get a few friends that are girls just to be friends with and have them introduce you to their friends. Who should be hot. cause you got to have standards.

just dont stop moving

 

[Suave]

go to bars and social events

 

[HRoi]

good first post

 

[word]

you play drums? join a band gig the guitarists and/or singers will still get the women, but at least you won't be stuck at home wallowing in your sorrow

Originally Posted by robbz9206

bro... download a free demo of ableton live and make beats and start listening to drum and bass HARD>
No, I'm tired of electronic music being saturated with **** because some kid does this after they hear afx or luke vibert (as plug) for the first time.

 

[uhurit]

Sadly, there's very little chance you'd be able to evercome your earlier formative years...we are what we are, largely due to our conditioning/environment