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Funny Stuff From Steven Wright

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by bachbeet, Oct 2, 2008.

  1. bachbeet

    bachbeet Senior member

    May 3, 2005
    San Diego
    How about a few words from our friend Steven Wright.

    I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

    Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

    Half the people you know are below average.

    99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so

    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

    All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

    The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
    the cheese.

    I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

    If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
    overlooked something.

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