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Funniest things you have over heard at the urinal?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by JeffsWood, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. JeffsWood

    JeffsWood Senior member

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    Conversation at the urinals is always a touchy subject, but I have to say occasionally some one says something that is rather funny. The two best lines I have heard:

    Said by a drunk guy as he looks over to another guy:

    “What do you feed that beast?”

    Said on a very cold day in a very cold washroom as he struggled to find his equipment:

    “Where the hell is that little bugger?”
     
  2. Milhouse

    Milhouse Senior member

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    Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

    1) One night I'm at a bar near a college. I was wearing a sweater over an OCBD as I had been at work before heading out to dinner and to the bars with friends. A very young and drunk college guy at the urinal next to me started singing.... about my sweater.

    I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

    2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.
     
  3. Davidko19

    Davidko19 Senior member

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    I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

    Thats pretty funny.

    I prefer to go up to the urinal and say, "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?"
     
  4. JeffsWood

    JeffsWood Senior member

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    Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .
    2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.



    What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
     
  5. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
    I don't understand this moaning thing. I've heard it a time or two, makes me uncomfortable so I finish up quickly and get the heck out.
     
  6. eqpablon

    eqpablon Senior member

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    Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

    2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.


    With friends I refuse to observe the "one unrinal" spacing rule. I get right next to them, cast a side long glance, and then say something like "Nice watch!", or "Is that ring white gold or platinum?". My friends know my sense of humor so they usually roll with it and continue the conversation. The look of shock/horror from the other men in the restroom is the only reinforcement I need to continue this behavior [​IMG]
     
  7. TyCooN

    TyCooN Senior member

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    Ahhhhhhhhh My Dick Feel Good
     
  8. Connemara

    Connemara Senior member

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    I'm too bladder-shy to piss in urinals when others are present. I generally go straight for the stall.
     
  9. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

    TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags.
     
  10. StopPolloition

    StopPolloition Senior member

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    A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.
     
  11. Tokyo Slim

    Tokyo Slim Senior member

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    A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.

    inside...out?
     
  12. StopPolloition

    StopPolloition Senior member

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    inside...out?

    Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

    I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie. [​IMG]
     
  13. JeffsWood

    JeffsWood Senior member

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    Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

    I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie. [​IMG]



    I remember once reading that sumo wrestler are able to get their testicals to retreat back into their body. A fast google search came back with some results that this does/can happen.

    http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=1107
     
  14. Transcendental

    Transcendental Senior member

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    Not exactly AT the urinal, but close enough.

    Me: Loud and Obnoxious 'FART' inside a stall

    Unknown Man at urinal: ..........Niiiiiiiiice.

    He then promptly left without washing his hands. I was laughing inside the stall.
     
  15. holymadness

    holymadness Senior member

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    Far too drunk to remember anything, but I'm sure it was hilarious at the time.
     
  16. whodini

    whodini Senior member

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    "Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day."
     
  17. likeitaloud

    likeitaloud Senior member

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    "Damn homie it's huge!" come to think of it I get it a lot and the fact that so many people like to prononciate it over and over is pretty annoying.
     
  18. Eason

    Eason Senior member

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    "Woooooo~! 45 degrees! The best range!"
     
  19. AKMetal

    AKMetal Active Member

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    I was at a McDonalds or Subway on the road, and I went to wash my hands and the guy who was using the urinal down the row from me came to wash his hands too. The soap dispenser was out of soap, or there was no towels or something and he was just like, ah, my dick ain't that dirty, I don't need to wash.
     
  20. zippyh

    zippyh Senior member

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    Guy on cell phone: No, I'm in the kitchen.
     

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