• I'm happy to introduce the Styleforum Happy Hour, our brand new podcast featuring lively discussion about menswear and the fashion industry. In the inaugural edition, a discussion of what's going on in retail today. Please check it out on the Journal. All episodes will be also be available soon on your favorite podcast platform.

  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

Funniest things you have over heard at the urinal?

JeffsWood

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
966
Reaction score
7
Conversation at the urinals is always a touchy subject, but I have to say occasionally some one says something that is rather funny. The two best lines I have heard:

Said by a drunk guy as he looks over to another guy:

“What do you feed that beast?”

Said on a very cold day in a very cold washroom as he struggled to find his equipment:

“Where the hell is that little bugger?”
 

Milhouse

Distinguished Member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
2,059
Reaction score
1
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

1) One night I'm at a bar near a college. I was wearing a sweater over an OCBD as I had been at work before heading out to dinner and to the bars with friends. A very young and drunk college guy at the urinal next to me started singing.... about my sweater.

I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.
 

Davidko19

Distinguished Member
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Messages
2,411
Reaction score
5
Originally Posted by Milhouse
I don't recall the whole song but it was something like "hey there sweater man, that's a really nice sweater man, is it cashmere or is it wool, maybe no one knows, hey sweater man, i know you can hear me damnit"

Thats pretty funny.

I prefer to go up to the urinal and say, "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?"
 

JeffsWood

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
966
Reaction score
7
Originally Posted by Milhouse
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .
2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.



What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
 

JayJay

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
24,367
Reaction score
423
Originally Posted by JeffsWood
What is the deal with the guys that moan at the urinal anyways - are they passing a kindey ston eor something?
I don't understand this moaning thing. I've heard it a time or two, makes me uncomfortable so I finish up quickly and get the heck out.
 

eqpablon

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
222
Reaction score
3
Originally Posted by Milhouse
Maybe not funny, as much as disturbing. . .

2) When I was in college, I was on a road trip with some of my friends to go climbing. We stopped at a highway rest stop. Naturally, we did the one urinal spacing between each of us. A very large trucker came in, went right to the urinal between my friend and I, and started moaning. Then he looked over at me and started smiling. Then at my friend and started smiling. I was frightened. Climbing areas tend to be in deliverance type settings at times.


With friends I refuse to observe the "one unrinal" spacing rule. I get right next to them, cast a side long glance, and then say something like "Nice watch!", or "Is that ring white gold or platinum?". My friends know my sense of humor so they usually roll with it and continue the conversation. The look of shock/horror from the other men in the restroom is the only reinforcement I need to continue this behavior
 

Connemara

[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jST2Sv63WQ']
Joined
Mar 9, 2006
Messages
39,510
Reaction score
1,758
I'm too bladder-shy to piss in urinals when others are present. I generally go straight for the stall.
 

MetroStyles

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
May 4, 2006
Messages
15,830
Reaction score
31


IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags.
 

StopPolloition

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
583
Reaction score
2
A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.
 

Tokyo Slim

In Time Out
Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
19,178
Reaction score
14
Originally Posted by StopPolloition
A friend once asked me in a very serious tone when we were using two adjacent urinals if my appendage flips inside out when I run. It caught me off guard. I told him no, and he was quick to respond, "well... uhm... neither does mine!" and quickly zipped up and washed his hands. I never dared to mention it again for fear that he actually has this problem.

inside...out?
 

StopPolloition

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
583
Reaction score
2
Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim
inside...out?

Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie.
 

JeffsWood

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
966
Reaction score
7
Originally Posted by StopPolloition
Sorry, I think his exact words were "Does your dick ever shrink back inside you when you run? No? Oh... well neither does mine."

I guess inside out wasn't the right way to convey that. Man, that would be weird. Even weirder than if it shrank and turned into an innie.



I remember once reading that sumo wrestler are able to get their testicals to retreat back into their body. A fast google search came back with some results that this does/can happen.

http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=1107
 

Transcendental

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2008
Messages
465
Reaction score
5
Not exactly AT the urinal, but close enough.

Me: Loud and Obnoxious 'FART' inside a stall

Unknown Man at urinal: ..........Niiiiiiiiice.

He then promptly left without washing his hands. I was laughing inside the stall.
 

holymadness

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2008
Messages
3,673
Reaction score
8
Far too drunk to remember anything, but I'm sure it was hilarious at the time.
 

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by

Featured Sponsor

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

  • 1 - 4

    Votes: 32 3.8%
  • 5 - 10

    Votes: 144 17.1%
  • 11 - 20

    Votes: 278 33.1%
  • 21 - 30

    Votes: 132 15.7%
  • 31 - 40

    Votes: 71 8.4%
  • 41 - 50

    Votes: 49 5.8%
  • 51 - 60

    Votes: 25 3.0%
  • 61 - 70

    Votes: 22 2.6%
  • 71 - 80

    Votes: 17 2.0%
  • 81 - 90

    Votes: 8 1.0%
  • 91 - 100

    Votes: 9 1.1%
  • 100+

    Votes: 54 6.4%

Related Threads

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
429,235
Messages
9,230,950
Members
193,767
Latest member
realest8steven
Top