Funeral Help

[phytoRx]

Hi Everyone,

I just joined SF a few days ago, but i've frequented SF during the past several months. I hate the fact that one of my first posts regarding style is for funeral attire. I am in need of a bit of help.

There was a unexpected death of an employee at the company I work for. He passed away at work, during business hours (employee worked in a different office location, I never got to meet/know the individual). I will be attending to pay my respect to him and his family.

The part I am having difficulty with is that the individual and his family immigrated from a small country in South America, he was starting a new life here in the states, but was starting from scratch. Because of the cultural and workplace structure standing differences (think mail room dept and manager). I do not want to appear that I am out of place by wearing something that would appear too over the top, or "loud". I have a solid navy suit, a charcoal gray suit, and a black suit. I also have a pair of black and a pair of cordovan shoes, as well as solid and conservative print ties. What would be best to wear? I would like to be as transparent as possible during the mass and burial.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[voxsartoria]

South Americans appreciate tradition more than North Americans. If you have a black suit and black shoes, wear those. If you have a black tie, wear that with a white shirt.

Really, your manner and kindness will be the most important thing.


- B

 

[kaxixi]

Black suit, black shoes, white shirt, and, ideally, a solid black tie. Edit: What Vox said.

 

[JFKJean]

^Don't forget the black socks either, some people have a tendency to show up wearing white tube socks like things are cool and peachy lol

 

[acidboy]

imo it would be more insensitive to "dress down" because of their present station in life instead of paying your respects in the manner in which you are accustomed to.

 

[Orsini]

Yes to what the others said.

Nothing the least bit flashy: no cuff link, no PS, plain white shirt, your most squaresville black shoes.

There is a thread on the other side about funeral wear where Sator weighs in. You could find it so see the subtlest details.

But remember: nothing stylish, flashy, or attention drawing.

 

[JayJay]

Originally Posted by Orsini

Yes to what the others said. Nothing the least bit flashy: no cuff link, no PS, plain white shirt, your most squaresville black shoes. There is a thread on the other side about funeral wear where Sator weighs in. You could find it so see the subtlest details. But remember: nothing stylish, flashy, or attention drawing.
I agree, except for these occasions I do wear a white linen ps in a tv fold that barely shows.

 

[Manton]

I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.

 

[Vintage Gent]

Originally Posted by Manton

I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.

Another vote for the gray suit.

 

[Golf_Nerd]

Originally Posted by phytoRx

... I am in need of a bit of help.

There was a unexpected death of an employee at the company I work for. He passed away at work, during business hours (employee worked in a different office location, I never got to meet/know the individual). I will be attending to pay my respect to him and his family.

... and a black suit. I also have a pair of black and a pair of cordovan shoes, as well as solid and conservative print ties. What would be best to wear? I would like to be as transparent as possible during the mass and burial.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hello,

one question first: why are you attending a funeral for someone you didn't met/ know? Is this like one day off???

Wear a black suit and black shoes. A black PC is OK, too.

Yours
GN

 

[Gradstudent78]

Originally Posted by Manton

I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.

Why gray over black? Because he's not family?

 

[mack11211]

Nothing you mentioned is bad. I'd go with the gray or black suit and the black shoes.

The basic points are you wear something sober and respectful, and you show up. That's what's important.

For my Aunt's funeral in California, my father, brother and I were the only people wearing suits at all.

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by Gradstudent78

Why gray over black? Because he's not family?

1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.

 

[porcelain monkey]

Originally Posted by Manton

1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.

Agreed on both points. The undertakers will wear black suits. You don't want to look like them. If you dress conservatively in dark tones, and your manner is one of respect and consolation to the family, I do not think anything will be seen as inappropriate.

 

[JFKJean]

Originally Posted by Manton

1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.

"Black suits"? "Flashy"? This is not an Etro suit were talking about here, it's black. I see no problem for wearing a dark grey suit but black being flashy doesn't make sense