Funeral Help

[Douglas]

This is in no way officially sanctioned advice - it's just what I like to do:

I wear a charcoal suit, grey socks, black shoes, white shirt, and white PS, but I do like to throw just a little bit of color into the outfit with the tie. I have a light purple/lavender tie with woven white roses that is a personal favorite. I think it shows a little bit of optimism, and the flowers represent renewal and hopefulness to me. Occasionally I get questioned on it, but when I give the explanation people seem to like it.

The black suit + solid black tie thing may be more rigidly enforced in other areas of the world, but to me in 21st century America it just feels like something of an anachronism.

I will say that attending a funeral for a coworker in another office you never knew or met seems a bit strange to me. Perhaps if you are a senior executive in the firm and are representing the company, it's one thing... but it strikes me as odd if you're outside, say, the top 5% of officers. Would it come off as showing support, or would it come off (to either the family or your company) as taking any excuse to get out of work?

 

[Narciso]

Black suit, tie, and shoes. Sometimes at funerals those closest to the deceased may dress down in a "this is how he lived" or "this is how he would have wanted it" manner, but black suits have always been the tradition as far as I can tell. You shouldn't be out of place in one. At a recent funeral for a family friend, those close to him wore Bermuda shorts and bright pastel shirts as a kind of send off.

 

[SkinnyGoomba]

+1 charcoal suit, dont wear a black tie, thats a bit over the top. More then likely you'll be the only person dressed to that extreme, and you'll stand out.

 

[Orsini]

Originally Posted by Manton

I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.
Actually, that's what I did the last time. Some folks were dressed in play clothes.

 

[Fuuma]

Conservative everything: black suit + black captoes + white dress shirt + black tie. I don't care if people dress differently, it's a ******* funeral and that's always correct unless there is a cultural specificity or special request you're aware of.

 

[TheFoo]

I think any dark suit would be fine. I don't even own a black suit--would I be expected to get one if I had to attend a funeral?

Like it was said earlier, your demeanor will matter much more.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I think any dark suit would be fine. I don't even own a black suit--would I be expected to get one if I had to attend a funeral?

Like it was said earlier, your demeanor will matter much more.

Depends on whose funeral but you're usually fine with a navy or charcoal suit, especially in North America.

 

[JoelF]

The truth is that people wear whatever to these things. You could probably do pants, button down shirt & no tie without a problem. I went to a memorial mass for a friend in Mexico recently, people showed up in shorts and tees. This was in Acapulco. Mexico City tends to be a lot more formal.

 

[Irond Will]

It seems to me that there is a basic cultural expectation that people wear black to funerals in America. Like, if you pulled a random person off the street and asked them what color people wear to funerals, the answer would be "black" at least 95% of the time. Unless they were Korean, I guess.

In any case, if you are attending in a semi-official fashion for your office, Wearing charcoal would probably pass without remark, but I don't think I'd take the chance that someone might feel slighted that you didn't feel the occasion was significant enough to warrant you wearing your black suit. I guess to me it seems more important that you meet expectations and show proper respect as opposed to looking your best.

 

[Orsini]

Originally Posted by Irond Will

...it seems more important that you meet expectations and show proper respect as opposed to looking your best.
For a funeral, this is key.

 

[phytoRx]

Originally Posted by Golf_Nerd

Hello,

one question first: why are you attending a funeral for someone you didn't met/ know? Is this like one day off???

Wear a black suit and black shoes. A black PC is OK, too.

Yours
GN


I received an email from the president of the company encouraging me to attend. Workplace politics I suppose.

 

[koolhistorian]

Black or grey - black shoes, white shirt - personally I would go for grey, as I am not family - charcoal or very dark grey tie, but it is very much continental and unknown. Show respect and courtesy - latin people are keen on that!

 

[Narciso]

Originally Posted by koolhistorian

Show respect and courtesy - latin people are keen on that!

I would hope everyone would be

 

[habitue]

Don't wear a black tie. You will either look like a Blues Brother or a mafia guy.

Would go for dark solid blue.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by habituÃ

Don't wear a black tie. You will either look like a Blues Brother or a mafia guy.

Would go for dark solid blue.

I wear a black tie, I look like a guy at a funeral, maybe if you stopped wearing those gold rings you would too...