• I'm happy to introduce the Styleforum Happy Hour, our brand new podcast featuring lively discussion about menswear and the fashion industry. In the inaugural edition, a discussion of what's going on in retail today. Please check it out on the Journal. All episodes will be also be available soon on your favorite podcast platform.

  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

Funeral Help

phytoRx

New Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Hi Everyone,

I just joined SF a few days ago, but i've frequented SF during the past several months. I hate the fact that one of my first posts regarding style is for funeral attire. I am in need of a bit of help.

There was a unexpected death of an employee at the company I work for. He passed away at work, during business hours (employee worked in a different office location, I never got to meet/know the individual). I will be attending to pay my respect to him and his family.

The part I am having difficulty with is that the individual and his family immigrated from a small country in South America, he was starting a new life here in the states, but was starting from scratch. Because of the cultural and workplace structure standing differences (think mail room dept and manager). I do not want to appear that I am out of place by wearing something that would appear too over the top, or "loud". I have a solid navy suit, a charcoal gray suit, and a black suit. I also have a pair of black and a pair of cordovan shoes, as well as solid and conservative print ties. What would be best to wear? I would like to be as transparent as possible during the mass and burial.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
 

voxsartoria

Goon member
Joined
Jan 18, 2007
Messages
25,756
Reaction score
157
South Americans appreciate tradition more than North Americans. If you have a black suit and black shoes, wear those. If you have a black tie, wear that with a white shirt.

Really, your manner and kindness will be the most important thing.


- B
 

kaxixi

Distinguished Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
1,904
Reaction score
21
Black suit, black shoes, white shirt, and, ideally, a solid black tie. Edit: What Vox said.
 

JFKJean

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
295
Reaction score
1
^Don't forget the black socks either, some people have a tendency to show up wearing white tube socks like things are cool and peachy lol
 

acidboy

Stylish Dinosaur
Spamminator Moderator
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
21,169
Reaction score
1,750
imo it would be more insensitive to "dress down" because of their present station in life instead of paying your respects in the manner in which you are accustomed to.
 

Orsini

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2007
Messages
1,358
Reaction score
21
Yes to what the others said.

Nothing the least bit flashy: no cuff link, no PS, plain white shirt, your most squaresville black shoes.

There is a thread on the other side about funeral wear where Sator weighs in. You could find it so see the subtlest details.

But remember: nothing stylish, flashy, or attention drawing.
 

JayJay

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
24,367
Reaction score
423
Originally Posted by Orsini
Yes to what the others said. Nothing the least bit flashy: no cuff link, no PS, plain white shirt, your most squaresville black shoes. There is a thread on the other side about funeral wear where Sator weighs in. You could find it so see the subtlest details. But remember: nothing stylish, flashy, or attention drawing.
I agree, except for these occasions I do wear a white linen ps in a tv fold that barely shows.
 

Manton

RINO
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Apr 20, 2002
Messages
41,583
Reaction score
2,855
I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.
 

Golf_Nerd

Distinguished Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2007
Messages
1,200
Reaction score
1
Originally Posted by phytoRx
... I am in need of a bit of help.

There was a unexpected death of an employee at the company I work for. He passed away at work, during business hours (employee worked in a different office location, I never got to meet/know the individual). I will be attending to pay my respect to him and his family.

... and a black suit. I also have a pair of black and a pair of cordovan shoes, as well as solid and conservative print ties. What would be best to wear? I would like to be as transparent as possible during the mass and burial.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.


Hello,

one question first: why are you attending a funeral for someone you didn't met/ know? Is this like one day off???

Wear a black suit and black shoes. A black PC is OK, too.

Yours
GN
 

Gradstudent78

Distinguished Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2003
Messages
2,309
Reaction score
18
Originally Posted by Manton
I would wear the gray suit, otherwise, do what they said.

Why gray over black? Because he's not family?
 

mack11211

Distinguished Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2004
Messages
6,477
Reaction score
82
Nothing you mentioned is bad. I'd go with the gray or black suit and the black shoes.

The basic points are you wear something sober and respectful, and you show up. That's what's important.

For my Aunt's funeral in California, my father, brother and I were the only people wearing suits at all.
 

Manton

RINO
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Apr 20, 2002
Messages
41,583
Reaction score
2,855
Originally Posted by Gradstudent78
Why gray over black? Because he's not family?

1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.
 

porcelain monkey

Distinguished Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
1,820
Reaction score
23
Originally Posted by Manton
1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.


Agreed on both points. The undertakers will wear black suits. You don't want to look like them. If you dress conservatively in dark tones, and your manner is one of respect and consolation to the family, I do not think anything will be seen as inappropriate.
 

JFKJean

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
295
Reaction score
1
Originally Posted by Manton
1) I hate black suits.

2) More importantly, I think they are flashy, especially in daylight hours. Gray is "softer", less conspicuous, and will allow him to blend into the background more. Since he didn't even know the deceased, there is no reason to make a statement.


"Black suits"? "Flashy"? This is not an Etro suit were talking about here, it's black. I see no problem for wearing a dark grey suit but black being flashy doesn't make sense
 

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by

Featured Sponsor

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

  • 1 - 4

    Votes: 32 3.8%
  • 5 - 10

    Votes: 144 17.1%
  • 11 - 20

    Votes: 278 33.1%
  • 21 - 30

    Votes: 132 15.7%
  • 31 - 40

    Votes: 71 8.4%
  • 41 - 50

    Votes: 49 5.8%
  • 51 - 60

    Votes: 25 3.0%
  • 61 - 70

    Votes: 22 2.6%
  • 71 - 80

    Votes: 17 2.0%
  • 81 - 90

    Votes: 8 1.0%
  • 91 - 100

    Votes: 9 1.1%
  • 100+

    Votes: 54 6.4%

Related Threads

Forum statistics

Threads
429,234
Messages
9,230,921
Members
193,766
Latest member
salvpi
Top