So that Kyle stops pestering me, I will tell everybody about my dinner at the French Laundry last Friday. I am nearly positive that nobody really cares, and I neither take pictures at dinner nor do I like to use extra words, so: Amuses bouche: First was a mornay stuffed gougere. This was fine, and well executed, but these mini gougeres are simply not as good, both taste and texture wise, as a regular gougere. Second was a smoked salmon in a sesame cone thing. I loved this, though I generally do not love sesame. First course: Oysters and pearls. Not much to say. This was fantastic. By far the best dish of the night. Second course: Foie gras "en torchon." Extremely disappointing. The texture was awful. It had none of the complexity or silkiness of a good foie gras preparation. It was way overworked, I assume so that it would look perfect, but the result was really awful. It was also practically unseasoned. Bringing gimmicky salt to the table with foie gras is fine, but it is not a substitute for seasoning it first. I guess the warm brioche was nice, but I would prefer good foie gras. Also, a $30 supplement? Really? Third course: Some sort of mackerel in a sickly sweet sauce. I am sure they did not call the sauce sickly sweet, but that is what it was. It tasted of dying flowers. Also terrible. Fourth course: Lobster with bordelais sauce. This was nice. I liked it more than the other people at the table who found theirs to be less than warm when they arrived. Fifth course: Squab with dates and almonds. This was OK, though not spectacular. Also luke warm. Very pretty dish. Flavors were lacked much complexity. Sixth course: Lamb loin. I liked this a lot, though it was also coolish in the middle. Seventh course: Some sort of passionfruit sorbet. This was fantastic. Really unbelievably good. Along with the oysters and pearls, easily the highlight of the meal. Eighth course: Peaches and cream. Whatever. Not bad, but basically another plated fancy desert which is more beautiful than tasty. Service: Well, the food, as mediocre as it was, was better than the service. Between asking one guy if he knew what squab was, in a very haughty tone, and berating one woman for not wanting a glass of their special bottled at two atmospheres less than normal pressure, the service was, needless to say, disappointing. There you go, Kyle. Now everybody can get all upset about "you don't know what you are talking about" and "Keller is a God, how dare you question him." The thing is, I am pretty easy to please even if I don't always love everything (others can confirm this,) and I have eaten all my life in restaurants like this, and this was not a good meal. Fire away.