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Flirting with or dating a co worker.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Jl29, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. Jl29

    Jl29 Member

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    Who is doing it currently or has done it, and how did it work out for you? Do you think it is a taboo thing to do, especially if they are a lot younger than you? Or cool, who cares?

    What about being in a relationship or already in love and having an emotional affair with a co worker? Is an emotional affair cheating to you?

    Looking for others thoughts on this subject.
     
  2. Kai

    Kai Senior member

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    Watch this first:


     
  3. div25sec9

    div25sec9 Senior member

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    I'd say proceed with extreme caution if at all....if things don't work out, you can have a very awkward workplace environment or even very nasty. You'll be playing with fire, so you might get burned. You also have to think what your coworkers, superiors, and clients would think as well.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

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    Terrible idea if you intend to stay at the company. Did it once, almost twice. Never again.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    I've seen it work out terribly. I've also met people who have met, dated, and gotten (and stayed) married at the office. It helps if it is a big organization and you don't work directly or anywhere near each other. If you pursue it, keep all the ups and downs outside the work place. Gossip (good and bad) travels fast and coworkers will be caught in your shit even when they don't want to.
     
  6. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    If you flirt, everyone around you can tell. People are more obvious about workplace flirting than they give themselves credit for.
     
  7. Claghorn

    Claghorn Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Dated the assistant manager of a Kay Jewelers where I worked during college. She was 4-5 years my senior and had dropped out of college after a year. Very attractive though; I enjoyed watching guys ogle her when she sold jewelry to them and their sig others. She was actually in a long term relationship in which she was very unhappy (they lived about 45 minutes outside of town...she had a long commute).

    An all together awkward and fulfilling experience. I definitely got preferential treatment. After about 5 months, it informally ended when she got transferred to her own store; I think we both knew it wasn't going much of anywhere.

    Everyone (but the manager) in the store knew that we were involved (the manager wasn't the brightest bulb in the box...she thought that the verb of "documentation" was "documentate"). I think part of the manager's ignorance was the age difference. I think an even bigger part of it was that I was clearly a nerd who loved talking about economics and history and studied during the slower hours and the AM was sort of a stereotypical blonde. In my manager's mind, there was no way that was ever happening--zero overlapping interests. The AM was also a bit white trash in an endearing sort of way.

    Everyone around our store knew as well (we were in a strip mall, so generally everyone went to the same restaurants).

    As someone said earlier, it's a bad idea if you want to stay in the company. But if you are young and it's a part time job, absolutely go for it. Just don't go to hard (I imagine it'd make things really awkward if you swing for the bleachers and miss).
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2013
  8. zarathustra

    zarathustra Senior member

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    FWBs at the office can be great stress relief. Rough day? Late nite? Weekends? No problem. You both can sneak off somewhere, get it on, get off and get back to work. Getting laid on the main conference room table with that nice view is seriously underrated. Its hard to explain the large box of Trojans in your office drawer.... but no glove no love.

    This of course ignores that whole potential sexual harassment thing which can kinda be a downer.

    Also, what is an emotional affair? BBBJTCWS/DATY et al but no PIV?

    In the end, we really need to see a pict and measurements to give you better advise about the situation.
     
  9. JohnGalt

    JohnGalt Senior member

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    Don't shit where you eat
     
  10. gettoasty

    gettoasty Senior member

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    Never get your honey where you make your money
     
    3 people like this.
  11. GusW

    GusW Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    It becomes difficult on your co-workers the moment the two of you have discussions or make decisions that effect you and others. Everyone will know you are dating or having a fling. The assumption is that there is preferred treatment no matter how hard you try and avoid it. At the same time a huge percentage of people meet their spouse at work. So, are you or your future girlfriend willing to change jobs, locations or departments to avoid problems. If not, then date elsewhere.
     
  12. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    ... and never go personal in your emails, and never ever take pics of vids of your private moments, just in case.
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    If it's nothing serious, I don't see the problem. And emotional affairs aren't cheating.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2013
  14. imatlas

    imatlas Senior member

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    WTF is an "emotional affair"?

    I work for a large software company with a relatively young workforce. There is an amazing amount of flirting and hooking up, and a surprising number of marriages.
     
    3 people like this.
  15. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    Do not shit where you eat. End of story.
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. Connemara

    Connemara Senior member

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    My old office was exactly like this. I think I got up to 6 girls before I departed. Good thing there was a lot of turnover, 'cause it sure got awkward at times!
     
  17. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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    Six girls? These all one-sided emotional relationships?
     
  18. zarathustra

    zarathustra Senior member

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    That is a rhetorical question, right?
     
  19. why

    why Senior member

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    I wouldn't see a problem with it. Others might.

    I'm sure it depends a lot on the workplace and people involved.

    I also don't totally understand why people feel awkward when stuff doesn't work out as planned -- either before or after. To me it's not big deal -- just move on in both cases.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  20. bfillmore

    bfillmore Member

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    That's pretty scary territory. Sure it may work out, but first think about your past relationships. How many exes are you still on good enough terms with that you'd want to see them in an office every day? If the answer is most of them, you have a pretty good shot at it working out.
     
    1 person likes this.

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