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Five sheets is not enough - the official clean ass thread

JohnGalt

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Originally Posted by Jabal-Tariq
everytime i take a dump i wipe my ass about once then guess what I do? GET IN THE SHOWER. I get in the shower EVERYTIME i use the bathroom

If you have to drop a deuce when at the office, do you hold it in all day or run home and shower?
 

frenchy

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Originally Posted by JohnGalt
If you have to drop a deuce when at the office, do you hold it in all day or run home and shower?

 

Lagrangian

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Originally Posted by Monaco
Guys, if you need that much paper and effort to wipe after poopin, that means your GI system is not healthy. A healthy poop is long,effortless, minute odor, thick and usually has very minimal to no residue.

All in all, fix your GI = fix your TP.


Absolutely. Strong, earthy and dense + no residue and we have a winner.
 

stevester1

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Originally Posted by frenchy
well since you asked...about 10 years ago when i was in FULL party mode me and 2 friends went to a really wild house party.as per usual we drank waaaaaaaay to much.i make my way to the bathroom (only one in the house) to hurl where my friend is already taking a dump as it turns out.
well i couldnt hold it in so i went in and threw up in the bathtub (like for ten minutes) as im doing this my OTHER friend walks in and has the same idea (hurl) so he takes the only other available option...the sink.so imagine the three of us,one taking a really long beer dump and the other two just puking our guts out,and it was those long gut wrenching pukes from mixing spirtis with beer and shit it just didnt stop...UNTIL:
the friend taking a dump,takes a few sheets of toilet paper and proceeds to wipe his ass not from the back but from the front (???)
now at this point as fucked up as me and sink puker were we still had the cohesion to look at each other like what the fuck was that?
next day me and sink puker talked and asked the same question,did we really see what we saw?why would he wipe from the front and drag all his shit across his balls rather then the conventional from the back way...to this day we never asked him about it and the mystery remains.


You sir just ruined my hummus snack. By the way, was it a standing or sitting front wipe
?
 

NaTionS

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This is what you guys need. I have one of these in my bathroom and it's great. Heated seats and warm water with adjustable pressure.
 

frenchy

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Originally Posted by stevester1
You sir just ruined my hummus snack. By the way, was it a standing or sitting front wipe
?


it was a sit/stand hybrid..like a balancing act
 

willpower

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Originally Posted by frenchy
it was a sit/stand hybrid..like a balancing act


Balls smell bad enough without introducing fecal matter into the mix.
 

cheessus

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i cannot poop unless i take my shirt off.
 

zjpj83

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People who stand to wipe are weird.
 

hastur

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Originally Posted by frenchy
while on the subject:
why do we as humans look in the toilet after taking a dump?
i mean what the fuck do we expect to see in there?
a pot of gold?
is this thing on?is this thing on?


To see if something's wrong?

You should always look in case there is blood in your stool or something else that might be indicative of a more serious health problem.
 

Dakota rube

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Originally Posted by frenchy
while on the subject:
why do we as humans look in the toilet after taking a dump?
i mean what the fuck do we expect to see in there?
a pot of gold?
is this thing on?is this thing on?


Why do people look at boogers they pick out of their noses?
 

Superfluous Man

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Originally Posted by hhuaj32
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Normally I get angry when I see spam posts, but since we are talking about shit I guess this one is okay given the brands listed.
 

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