- Dec 31, 2009
- Reaction score
At home, at work, by friends, by lovers. Consistently. For a good chunk of time. (I'm 25, for context.) I know I'm a goofy dude. I get it. I like to have a good time. I don't take anything too seriously. I'm pretty laid back. Not intimidating. I've never thought of myself as a pushover or anything, but I increasingly get the impression that other people are seeing me that way, and I'm increasingly pissed off about it. I don't really know how to explain the specific situation. Maybe you have a friend or coworker who is like me, though. A well liked individual, fun to be around, but impossible to take seriously. The kind of person who people don't mind insulting randomly, assuming that a joking persona won't take anything to heart. The kind of guy who laughs it off. Someone whose contributions, suggestions, and skills are taken lightly. I've known these people all of my life. I made the general analysis that they just had low self esteem and turned everything into a big joke to avoid conflict and gain popularity. Worried I'm turning into one of these people. Recently had an ex lover describe me to one of her friends as 'not assertive enough'. (That's the comment that's mostly prompting this post.) This was particularly annoying because I know I absolutely laid it down in bed with this girl. Increasingly noticing that coworkers dismiss my efforts and contributions. Noticing my friends find it entertaining to rag on me to an extent that I feel is not equal to usual guy/guy back and forth banter, often surpassing the quantity and extremity values set forth by typical social standards in these situations. Apparently I'm just a joke punching bag. Somebody referred to be as a 'little bitch' the other day. None of these people have particularly bad intentions, but everyone knows I won't really stick up for myself, just for the sake of avoiding conflict. This part may sound rather douchtastic, but I find myself on the receiving end of jokes from people who are considered to be lower on the social totem pole than myself. I always make good eye contact when talking. I have good body language. I'm not shy- in fact I might talk too much. If there was a particular behavior that I could change here, I would, but I'm pretty much at a loss. I'd like to be seen by people as the intelligent, confident, hard working, fairly good looking and well dressed man that I am. I don't know why I'm not, but it's frustrating as hell. Do I need to punch somebody or what? Any thoughts? Suggestions? Sympathy?