1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

Favorite date ideas?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Renault78law, Aug 21, 2004.

  1. blackboard_knowledge

    blackboard_knowledge Senior member

    Messages:
    253
    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Although now I am engaged, I consider myself to have been a very successful blind dater. There are a few rules:
    (1) NO DINNERS (I am actually going to extend this to actually encompass NO MEALS)
    (2) Think of something fun, creative, and perhaps personal
    (3) Always pitch it to the person as: "I am going to be doing [X]. Would you like to come with?"

    Hiking is fun, but then one is faced with the issue of "if I do not like this person, I am going to be stuck with them for the next few hours." This is why most people gravitate toward something quick, such as grabbing coffee. I have always found coffee to be a little too conventional and a bit unnatural. Here is the thing about the early stages of seeing someone: you have to WOW them, and stimulate in their internal chemistry all of the triggers that tell them "I like this person and want to be with this person."

    A trick from my playbook that works perfectly this time of year is to say: "Hey, I am going to go to [frantic mall around the holidays in your area] and people watch all of the holiday-crazed shoppers. Do you want to come with?" Even if she says "no" (which, for the record, has never ever happened with a girl that is remotely interesting), she will applaud you for thinking outside of the box, and will consider you interesting. This activity also allows one to play the "what is that person thinking?" game toward the other shoppers when there are lulls in the conversation.

    People watching works at any point in the relationship. My fiance and I still do it when the mood is right.
     
  2. fredfred

    fredfred Senior member

    Messages:
    1,138
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Location:
    New York City
    Blind date strategy/tactics:

    - Meet/Start at coffee/wine bar
    One drink. If the 2 of you can't hold a conversation you can call it and bail. Alternatively if you don't really like her you can still take her to next venue(s) 'cause if you are with a girl you are more likely to be able to meet other women. Take advantage of the situation. She might also have friends you might like so "network". Or maybe you like her, proceed to:

    - Pool
    One hour of playing. Unless she's getting drunk and bending over the table in her short skirt (I've had it happen and yes she was teasing *everyone* in the place on purpose). Then have another drink, take her home and have fun. Tease her during pool with lame lines like "Geez, you seem to be having problems holding the stick... do you always have trouble with things like that?" and/or... "You are a dork/clutz... wow..." Next stop:

    - Tapas place
    Light food/sangria/wine... not a big dinner, which makes it more formal, more stressful for her, and less fun

    - Dessert or your place
    By this time if you have been paying attention you should know what she's up for. Have an excuse to go to your place ("Do you like champagne? Do you like chocolate?". "Ok, I know where we'll go.. I sort of know the owner" Then take her to your place. Do NOT ask.. by this point in the evening it will be sort of implied. She can bail if she wants to, and if you ask her she is required to say "I should go home". So don't ask.

    The problem with dessert is it wears off the alchohol (due to time) and amps up sugar which leads to sleep/tired. That ends dates. If you can find a place that has S'mores, it's a cheesy date thing (depending on how old you are) but it is fun.


    (BTW - pool can be substituted with any *activity*. Dinner is not an activity. It needs to be a place where you can be a bit active and interact. The 1/2 price books idea (above) could actually work well, but I would make it a short stop and have a 2nd idea. Don't take a fashion girl to a baseball game, she'll be bored. Bumper cars... go karts... an indoor carnival (throw balls into the wicker baskets)... something DIFFERENT and fun.)
     
  3. blackboard_knowledge

    blackboard_knowledge Senior member

    Messages:
    253
    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Necro Poast

    what do you guys think about taking a girl out to play pool on a first date. I mean amongst other things that day. My school is having an event (she doesn't go to my school at all) where they are renting a fun center type place (bowling, pingpong, billiards, etc) and this date is nothing serious and I would prefer to keep it that way. Just want to show her a good time. She has never played pool, so I think this would be a good opportunity to get closer to her (teach her how to handle the stick and balls).

    Was thinking of going to a park or something before and or a cafe before/after. Been a while since I have been on a 'first date' sort of situation and I am a bit borked on money atm so cheap but fun is good.

    Also she doesnt drink booze so bar hopping is kinda out.


    This is what I call a "conventional date idea." That is where the date centers around a pre-arranged standard social activity: dinner, a party, bowling, etc. To be succinct, these are uncreative and are less likely to WOW the girl.

    Instead, think of something outside the box.

    As for her not drinking, I have dated straight-edge vegans (neither principle of which I subscribe to) and still had a great time. Her not drinking is actually good, as you shouldn't be taking her to a bar anyway, as how could one possibly set the foundation for a successful relationship by taking them to a loud place that is not conducive to communication, and then getting drunk? It could work out, but the odds are not in your favor.
     
  4. TheD0n

    TheD0n Senior member

    Messages:
    432
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    My flavorite date is a sandwich at Subway (flavorite, with an 'L').

    Jokes aside, I need to move away from meals on dates (I think this killed my last relationship) and do more interesting/different activities. I like the suggestions in this thread.
     
  5. Svenn

    Svenn Senior member

    Messages:
    1,716
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    To be succinct, these are uncreative and are less likely to WOW the girl.
    I don't think you have to worry about 'wow'ing a girl on a first date, and taking her to a mall as you suggested probably wouldn't constitute that... at the end of the day, despite it's awkwardness, it's necessary to have some face-to-face time to figure out what the person's like (coffee, drink, etc). I've always found that activity dates like walking or hiking are a cop-out and don't work out well because you can't see the person's face or carry on a natural conversation... and after it's over you don't feel any closer to the person. I realize others might be different though, and it's certainly a good choice for second or third dates. Honestly though, I think the chemistry between two people is predetermined and it doesn't matter where you meet or frankly what you say... whether or not you'll get along is evident within the first couple minutes of meeting. You can read all the dating advice you want, pre-think of all the wittiest jokes, but ultimately it just takes practice to be good at first dates, there's no other way. And even if you're a master, if the girls is dull and nonresponsive, it's still gonna be awkward [​IMG]
     
  6. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

    Messages:
    14,501
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    Instead, think of something outside the box.

    I thought we were supposed to be thinking of ways to get into the box.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. thinman

    thinman Senior member

    Messages:
    4,926
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2005
    Location:
    USA
    I thought we were supposed to be thinking of ways to get into the box.
    [​IMG]


    This is why Rube is the Master!
     
  8. L.R.

    L.R. Senior member

    Messages:
    1,994
    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2009
    Location:
    Sietch Tabr
    Skating is my number one date, at least it was during university.


    Most girls could skate at least reasonably well, but they would still ask for lessons (I've played hockey since I was 4, so I'm decent at skating) Talking during skating is easy.

    There's all kinds of points to be scored, we usually end up skating hand in hand, and if they're a better skater than I am, it's also really fun to have a competitive date, haha.

    Afterwards it's easy to transition to a coffee date, something that is usually overdone, but after skating it works well.
     
  9. ratboycom

    ratboycom Senior member

    Messages:
    3,682
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2006
    Location:
    Nagoya, Japan
    Well, the thing about this girl is, its not like I am super super interested in her, she is one of my coworkers so we have had time to hang out in the past. We already know bits and pieces about eachother and email eachother a lot. The dating game in Japan is a different beast than in the US. Lots of girls want to go on group dates for the first run, if I didnt know her somewhat before hand I would be stuck in that situation. This girl is really innocent and nice (I mean like no experience, but is sweet and mostly cute).

    All in all I just dont want to pressure her or anything. Originally I wanted to go to a "Planetarium Bar", but since she wont be drinking booze and its an all you can drink + course food deal, I'd rather keep that one in my back pocket for a later date or a different girl.

    Lots of really unconventional date places here and actually shooting pool is pretty unusual.
    Maybe, Ill take her to that for the start then take her to Omotesando and stroll through the Christmas illumination.

    Edit: she canceled for Tues, sick and has homework due next week after the holiday. Planning on meeting up on Thanksgiving I guess.


    Oh and Rube, your age and wisdom show in every post.
     
  10. mkarim

    mkarim Senior member

    Messages:
    4,645
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2008
    Anything unconventional that spikes her emotions is good (eg., any activity date).
     
  11. TyCooN

    TyCooN Senior member

    Messages:
    4,283
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Location:
    2o6
    The last time I went on a real date I took her to the Seattle Aquarium, and it worked out well. Dinner is also pretty decent, but pick somewhere you can sit and talk without having to worry about people around you.

    Avoid the movies, unless you want to just sit there, and not talk. Not usually the best way to get a second date.

    Also make sure to keep an escape route handy. If the date gets scary, head for the door - no regrets.

    Woodland Park Zoo!
     
  12. Sazerac

    Sazerac Senior member

    Messages:
    607
    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Location:
    Colorado
    Honestly though, I think the chemistry between two people is predetermined and it doesn't matter where you meet or frankly what you say... whether or not you'll get along is evident within the first couple minutes of meeting. You can read all the dating advice you want, pre-think of all the wittiest jokes, but ultimately it just takes practice to be good at first dates, there's no other way. And even if you're a master, if the girls is dull and nonresponsive, it's still gonna be awkward [​IMG]

    Exactly.

    I always liked to take women to art galleries (not museums). It's a blast, and you learn a lot about someone from their reaction to art. Not only what they like, but how they like art, and whether they're able to articulately express what they mean.

    Whatever you do, though, have a plan. Women hate it when you don't.
     
  13. willpower

    willpower Senior member

    Messages:
    4,414
    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Location:
    West Coast

    Whatever you do, though, have a plan. Women hate it when you don't.


    Truer words...
     
  14. thewallychamp

    thewallychamp Senior member

    Messages:
    177
    Joined:
    May 26, 2009
    Location:
    QB
    +1
    -canoeing
    -outdoors picnic with a bottle of wine
    -sunset hike
    -bike ride and ice cream
    -bowling and beers
    -food adventure (example: "I've never tried indian food, have you?")
    -go antiqueing
    -movies can be a good 2nd or 3rd date



    IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

    TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags.


    i'd save this for at least the 4th date
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by