Family help really needed

[forsbergacct2000]

Originally Posted by 83glt

+1

I don't come here to read about people's family issues, and I don't think anyone should be posting such stuff here. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think your post and others like it are just inappropriate for a number of reasons.

That said, perhaps your family should try some professional counseling as TC mentioned. Otherwise, your sister is 17, thinks she's cool and knows it all. She'll be crying for forgiveness soon enough.

He's looking for help any place he can get it as he faces an emergency.

No one forces anyone to read anything.

I'm sure on some sick level you are proud of your lack of compassion, so I won't say any more.

If you don't want to read it, don't.

 

[forsbergacct2000]

Originally Posted by j

Maybe you can try, instead, not clicking on the entire forum. We try to help each other out around here.

The dirty laundry is being raised anonymously.

 

[forsbergacct2000]

Originally Posted by countdemoney

That's a tough situation and I feel for you.

For advice. First, stop worrying about what you can't control. Second, start figuring out what you control (which is yourself), and what you're willing to do.

For me, I feel better when I can do things, no matter how small. I'd tend to look at your problems in ways that you can deal with them. Here's what I read:

1. Dad's maybe an alcoholic. I'd suggest figuring this one out first. There are a couple of ways to do this. I'd look to a guidance type counselor at school who will have specific training and be able to help you figure out if dad is an alcoholic and can point you towards resources that will be more appropriate for your situation if he is.

a. If dad is an alcoholic, whatever is going on with your sister isn't going to stop dad from being an alcoholic

b. your sister's drama didn't start him being an alcoholic.

c. Only dad can stop dad from being an alcoholic. You can be supportive, and you can be a good son, but you can't change him. Recognize that and don't beat yourself up for it.


2. Your sister has something going on. Ultimately your sister will have to find her own way. Be a good ear to bend, let her talk. Even if you don't like what she's doing, or how she's doing it, she has a reason that makes sense to her. Let her tell you those reasons without you telling her how she's wrong.

If it's simple rebellion, that should come out pretty quickly. If it's deeper, you're going to have a better basis to make your own decisions.

In all of the above, look to take care of yourself. You won't be able to help anyone if you're just another part of the problem.

Good luck.

Excellent, Excellent Advice!!

 

[83glt]

Originally Posted by forsbergacct2000

He's looking for help any place he can get it as he faces an emergency.

No one forces anyone to read anything.

I'm sure on some sick level you are proud of your lack of compassion, so I won't say any more.

If you don't want to read it, don't.
I did suggest family counseling as well. I can assure you there's no sick lack of compassion. I hope the OP's family can sort out their troubles. Family is very important. It's just tough with teenagers who fall in with the wrong crowd and yet think they know what they're doing. It's such a difficult age. I think as others here have said, an intervention of some sort may be required. But I think ultimately communication and/or professional counseling are the only answer. I won't go so far as to mock praying, as it seems to work for some - though I think it's more akin to meditation than "conversations with imaginary friends". But as a default problem-solver, I don't think prayer is the answer. Afterall, doesn't the Lord "help those who help themselves?" OP has to reach out to his sister and she needs something else to occupy her time - like Styleforum! Seriously though, hobbies and other such activities/distractions can go a long way toward keeping one out of trouble. Is there anything else that your sister is moderately interested in?

 

[X-It]

Originally Posted by countdemoney

That's a tough situation and I feel for you.

For advice. First, stop worrying about what you can't control. Second, start figuring out what you control (which is yourself), and what you're willing to do.

For me, I feel better when I can do things, no matter how small. I'd tend to look at your problems in ways that you can deal with them. Here's what I read:

1. Dad's maybe an alcoholic. I'd suggest figuring this one out first. There are a couple of ways to do this. I'd look to a guidance type counselor at school who will have specific training and be able to help you figure out if dad is an alcoholic and can point you towards resources that will be more appropriate for your situation if he is.

a. If dad is an alcoholic, whatever is going on with your sister isn't going to stop dad from being an alcoholic

b. your sister's drama didn't start him being an alcoholic.

c. Only dad can stop dad from being an alcoholic. You can be supportive, and you can be a good son, but you can't change him. Recognize that and don't beat yourself up for it.


2. Your sister has something going on. Ultimately your sister will have to find her own way. Be a good ear to bend, let her talk. Even if you don't like what she's doing, or how she's doing it, she has a reason that makes sense to her. Let her tell you those reasons without you telling her how she's wrong.

If it's simple rebellion, that should come out pretty quickly. If it's deeper, you're going to have a better basis to make your own decisions.

In all of the above, look to take care of yourself. You won't be able to help anyone if you're just another part of the problem.

Good luck.

Nice words.

Lets hope it can help him.