noob in 89
Stylish Dinosaur
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2010
- Messages
- 11,344
- Reaction score
- 15,642
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This is your last chance.
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Remember: All I'm offering is the truth – nothing more.
Q. THE TRUTH? SOUNDS A LOT LIKE BANALITY TO ME. DOOMED TO A LIFE OF THE QUOTIDIAN? NO THANKS! WHAT HAPPENS IF I TAKE THE BLUE PILL?
!!!
Q. IS THE BLUE PILL FOR EVERYONE?
A: No. It bears the mark of the chosen, the 'one'. See below for details.
BNWT. DEEP MYSTICAL WINDOWPANE, BLUE ON BLUE ON BLUE.
TAGGED 42R
JACKET
SHOULDERS - 18.6-7"
P2P - 22.25"
SLEEVE - 25.5" shoulder seam to outside cuff; about 25" shoulder to center cuff.
PANTS
WAIST -- 17.5-7", depending. At least 1.25" of material to be let out.
HEM - 8.75"
CUFFS -- 1.25"
BNWT.
BNWT. DEEP MYSTICAL WINDOWPANE, BLUE ON BLUE ON BLUE.
TAGGED 42R
JACKET
SHOULDERS - 18.6-7"
P2P - 22.25"
SLEEVE - 25.5" shoulder seam to outside cuff; about 25" shoulder to center cuff.
PANTS
WAIST -- 17.5-7", depending. At least 1.25" of material to be let out.
HEM - 8.75"
CUFFS -- 1.25"
BNWT.
Q. WILL I KNOW THAT I'M LIVING A DREAM?
A: No. You will know that you are living the dream, a life beyond suffering, beyond reproach. Women will want you. Men will want to be you. Breath will come easy. Speech will improve. Your gaze will narrow and your chest will swell. You will begin to see in four dimensions. Your mortgage will evaporate and the sky will rain down good fortune. Your balls will drop. Your hair will thicken. A gleam will find permanent home in your eye, and your wing tips will no longer brush the earth, but hover one inch above it, whispering your dreams along like so: whishhhhh-oooooo, whisshhhhh-oooo....
Q: OMG. ARE THERE ANY SIDE EFFECTS?
You should not use the blue pill if you are allergic to wool -- of any kind.
Do not take the blue pill if you are also using tennis shoes out of pain or ignorance. This includes Nike, Adidas, Superga, or Cole Haan sneakers evily disguised as dress shoes. Rubber soles may also be found in some business casual wear shoes, including, but not limited to, Aldo, Brooks Brothers 346, newer Allen Edmonds, and Kenneth Cole. Taking the blue pill in public or with female company may cause a sudden and serious increase in swag. Plan accordingly.
Hickey Freeman may also increase blood flow to the head and pelvic regions of the body, causing sudden elation. This has occurred in a large number of people taking Hickey Freeman, most of whom had no complaints. It is not clear whether Hickey Freeman is the actual cause of elation. Other common side effects may include an increase in heart rate, stronger concentration, less impulse control, rhythm and dancing, companion dizziness within a three to fifteen foot radius, moral weakness, moral laxity, and the complete and utter abatement of shakiness, headache, apprehension, nervousness or anxiety. These side effects usually go away quickly upon disrobing, especially when asleep. Stop using the blue pill and seek emergency medical help never.
Do not take the blue pill if you are also using tennis shoes out of pain or ignorance. This includes Nike, Adidas, Superga, or Cole Haan sneakers evily disguised as dress shoes. Rubber soles may also be found in some business casual wear shoes, including, but not limited to, Aldo, Brooks Brothers 346, newer Allen Edmonds, and Kenneth Cole. Taking the blue pill in public or with female company may cause a sudden and serious increase in swag. Plan accordingly.
Hickey Freeman may also increase blood flow to the head and pelvic regions of the body, causing sudden elation. This has occurred in a large number of people taking Hickey Freeman, most of whom had no complaints. It is not clear whether Hickey Freeman is the actual cause of elation. Other common side effects may include an increase in heart rate, stronger concentration, less impulse control, rhythm and dancing, companion dizziness within a three to fifteen foot radius, moral weakness, moral laxity, and the complete and utter abatement of shakiness, headache, apprehension, nervousness or anxiety. These side effects usually go away quickly upon disrobing, especially when asleep. Stop using the blue pill and seek emergency medical help never.
Q: DOES THE PRICE OF THE BLUE PILL INCLUDE SHIPPING?
A: I've said too much already.
Destiny is yours for the taking. Take it.
SOLD! FOR
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