Many people claim that physical attractiveness is subjective. Even many people who consider finding an attractive mate very important and agree on the attractiveness of apparel combinations make the claim. This despite the strong cross-cultural agreement on physical attractiveness found in many studies. Therefore, it isn't simply a matter of ignorance or even denial. Nor should one conclude that, in the case of men, there is total faith in the kind of statement that, like many other women, Nicole Kidman has made, that she could fall in love with a physically unattractive man. No, it does happen that unattractive people find mates and that average-looking people sometimes find very attractive mates. But people make many mistaken assumptions about such pairings, such as assuming attractiveness was the same at the start, that the attraction is mutual, or that the relationship is solid. They also make the correct assumption that personality factors can skew perceived attractiveness, though they might not realize the limits of the skew (personality more readily lowers attractiveness). The one thing very few people realize is the grain of truth in the old saying that "love is blind." It can be, where chemistry (MHC) is involved. However, chemistry is impermanent. Within a few years, flaws in appearance (and personality) will be noticed more and, often, the better-looking partner will realize she can do better and end the relationship. (The relative instability of couples in which one partner is much more attractive than the other has been noted by researchers.) Furthermore, chemistry won't be given a chance if two people never meet because of an unflattering picture on a dating site or sorting into very different social (or socioeconomic) circumstances on the basis of looks, and a would-be good relationship with unspectacular chemistry is less likely to be given a chance to develop if a person's appearance doesn't hold the door wide open. It would be nice if this admittedly off-topic argument has swayed a few people away from the irritating idea that persists in this and other places, that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Hopefully everyone agrees that only personality should matter in love (and that, in a whole other issue, only ability to do the job should matter), but acceptance of the distateful way things really are is a necessary step toward any chance of changing the reality.