- Sep 29, 2011
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Thank you, Eva. This year has been rough. Today is a particularly difficult one for me personally and I was hopping on SF to read whatever nonsense was posted and instead saw this and it was really what I needed.Hey guys,
I need to talk about something really serious. I logged onto Facebook today and found out that two guys from my high school class have committed suicide in November.
Both of them had wives and more than one child under 10yo. It's really heartbreaking. I don't know the details of what drove them to that point, but it's clear that this second wave of COVID is particularly awful when combined with the typical seasonal winter depression.
This thread has been operating for over 10 years, and many of you have been here since the beginning. We're a community and a group of friends. And I want everyone to know that we're here for you if you need help.
This is a fucking difficult year. It's the most difficult one that I can remember. It makes 2001 and 2008 look like a cake walk. If you're feeling depressed, disconnected, and hopeless.. just know that you're not alone. In the dark days before this, we could at least reach out to our family and friends for personal support and connection. This pandemic has cruelly ripped that away, and video chats cannot replace what's lost. And it doesn't help that social media can compound this misery.
Life is difficult these days... being married is difficult and being a parent is difficult. If you don't already have support for your mental health, then it's hard to find a therapist and nearly impossible to see one in person. So I want to offer three things to anyone who needs them:
1) If you're feeling really despondent, there is a national suicide hotline that's available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. Call them. Don't wait until you're at the end of your rope. The earlier you speak to them, the faster that you can climb out of the hole.
2) I'm personally available to anyone on here who wants to talk. Email me at eva[@]epauletbrand.com and I'll call you. It doesn't matter if you're not a customer or if we've never spoken before. I'm not a therapist, but I'm a good listener and I've personally received a lot of therapy. I know what it's like to go through depression, and I have strategies that can help. A few years ago, one of the guys on this thread (also not a therapist) spent about 90 min on a phone call with me, and it was a huge help. I'd return that favor to anyone who needs it.
3) Please feel free to use this thread as your community space. For many of us, online communities are the only communities that we have. Facebook and Instagram can be a nightmare. If you want to post pics of your kids or your pets, or a log of the bike ride you did, or some nature photos that you took, or music that you're listening to.. please go ahead. I'll try to do this more myself. We've always had a strong positive vibe on this thread, and I'd love for it to be a place where you can feel free to stop by and talk to each other.
That's it. I'm grateful every day for the community here, and we're all going to get through this.
I have had some real professional struggles this year. Despite doing my best, I’m failing on a bunch of tasks. I recognize from afar you’ve struggled similarly. The complaints in this thread always hit close to home for me because I struggle to keep up and am often constrained by the production of people I don’t “control.” It’s reassuring because I know you are a good person and doing your best and it’s easy to separate your struggle to keep up from your value as a person to me and to many others. It’s harder to do that personally when I’m being criticized. It’s particularly inspiring when you can stand up and offer help to others as you did today when I know that there are plenty of days that you need our help as much as we need yours.