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Epaulet

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Thanks, I was guessing the XL because I was assuming there's less wiggle room with shoulder measurements than with chest measurements and most of my shirts measure very close to 18.5” for shoulders.
yes, and this particular cloth lends itself to being worn a bit looser. You’re going yo

Any update on the MTO Wilhelms from April? I’ve still got an ultrafleck with seam taping on order.
got a bunch of Wilhelms along with the jackets, going to update and ship them too!
 

steve2318

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Just checking in on the Sierra Vests from the Woolrich order. Any update on those?

Thank you in advance. Cheers all!
 

Epaulet

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Just checking in on the Sierra Vests from the Woolrich order. Any update on those?

Thank you in advance. Cheers all!
Thanks! Pushing to have the vests by the end of the month. Our Sinclairs from the project should be here in about 10 days.
 

Epaulet

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Hey guys,

I need to talk about something really serious. I logged onto Facebook today and found out that two guys from my high school class have committed suicide in November.

Both of them had wives and more than one child under 10yo. It's really heartbreaking. I don't know the details of what drove them to that point, but it's clear that this second wave of COVID is particularly awful when combined with the typical seasonal winter depression.

This thread has been operating for over 10 years, and many of you have been here since the beginning. We're a community and a group of friends. And I want everyone to know that we're here for you if you need help.

This is a fucking difficult year. It's the most difficult one that I can remember. It makes 2001 and 2008 look like a cake walk. If you're feeling depressed, disconnected, and hopeless.. just know that you're not alone. In the dark days before this, we could at least reach out to our family and friends for personal support and connection. This pandemic has cruelly ripped that away, and video chats cannot replace what's lost. And it doesn't help that social media can compound this misery.

Life is difficult these days... being married is difficult and being a parent is difficult. If you don't already have support for your mental health, then it's hard to find a therapist and nearly impossible to see one in person. So I want to offer three things to anyone who needs them:

1) If you're feeling really despondent, there is a national suicide hotline that's available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. Call them. Don't wait until you're at the end of your rope. The earlier you speak to them, the faster that you can climb out of the hole.

2) I'm personally available to anyone on here who wants to talk. Email me at eva[@]epauletbrand.com and I'll call you. It doesn't matter if you're not a customer or if we've never spoken before. I'm not a therapist, but I'm a good listener and I've personally received a lot of therapy. I know what it's like to go through depression, and I have strategies that can help. A few years ago, one of the guys on this thread (also not a therapist) spent about 90 min on a phone call with me, and it was a huge help. I'd return that favor to anyone who needs it.

3) Please feel free to use this thread as your community space. For many of us, online communities are the only communities that we have. Facebook and Instagram can be a nightmare. If you want to post pics of your kids or your pets, or a log of the bike ride you did, or some nature photos that you took, or music that you're listening to.. please go ahead. I'll try to do this more myself. We've always had a strong positive vibe on this thread, and I'd love for it to be a place where you can feel free to stop by and talk to each other.

That's it. I'm grateful every day for the community here, and we're all going to get through this.
 

Epaulet

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And in the world of music... since I'm working at home most of the day, really good playlists have become pretty crucial.

I'm a big fan of "Synthwave," which is kind of neo-80's sounding music. If you saw "Drive" with Ryan Gosling, then think about that soundtrack.

Here's a good playlist for Spotify

And one for Apple Music

And here's a completely over-the-top claymation video for one of the best Synthwave songs. Intro is by John Carpenter!

 

Zamb

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And in the world of music... since I'm working at home most of the day, really good playlists have become pretty crucial.

I'm a big fan of "Synthwave," which is kind of neo-80's sounding music. If you saw "Drive" with Ryan Gosling, then think about that soundtrack.

Here's a good playlist for Spotify

And one for Apple Music

And here's a completely over-the-top claymation video for one of the best Synthwave songs. Intro is by John Carpenter!

its the worst year in all my 20 years of living in America,
And i can agree, marriage is difficult, having kids is difficult because you as a parent are responsibly for the life, leadership and wellbeing of these kids until they can manage on their own and thats a TALL ORDER.

I've never been suicidal, but trust me, this year has been a depressing year...........I have been fortunate to use my creativity and the time i have as a means of keeping me focused. I keep going because I am responsible too and for so many people that I cannot afford to let them down

One of the big issues that men face is that often when there are problems in marriage and family, there is very little support for the man. that must change, I think that high(est) rates of suicide is among divorced or divorcing middle aged men
 

Epaulet

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its the worst year in all my 20 years of living in America,
And i can agree, marriage is difficult, having kids is difficult because you as a parent are responsibly for the life, leadership and wellbeing of these kids until they can manage on their own and thats a TALL ORDER.

I've never been suicidal, but trust me, this year has been a depressing year...........I have been fortunate to use my creativity and the time i have as a means of keeping me focused. I keep going because I am responsible too and for so many people that I cannot afford to let them down

One of the big issues that men face is that often when there are problems in marriage and family, there is very little support for the man. that must change, I think that high(est) rates of suicide is among divorced or divorcing middle aged men
Motivation is really hard. When the lockdowns started in late March, I remember thinking "I'll make the best of this. I can get things organized at home, redo my website, and take this time to address all sorts of tasks that I don't usually have the time for."

And yeah, none of that happened. Since my daughter is an only child, she was completely isolated from her friends and depressed. My production went completely haywire. My entire staff quit. It was rough. Although things are fairly stable these days and business is slowly getting back to normal-ish, the huge loss of community and connection really takes its toll. Restaurants, bars, travel... this meant a lot to me, and I'm sure a lot to you guys. It's painful not to see my friends like I used to. It's sad that my parents haven't seen me or their granddaughter in over a year. And I think that the present time is REALLY difficult because it felt like things were improving over the past few months. And now they're not.

I agree that this is really difficult on many husbands and fathers. Men are less likely to seek help, and even if you want to.. it's not easy. For years, I did therapy out of pocket, which would often run me about $1,000 a month. Here in California, it's covered under my HMO plan, but appointments are difficult to get, and everything is done remotely now. Doing a phone or video appointment just isn't the same. If you have issues with your partner, then they get amplified because there's less time off.

If anyone has any constructive tips, then please post them up here. For me, these things have helped the most:

1) Realize that it's a historically difficult time and manage your expectations for yourself. Some days, I just can't be as productive as I should be. And that's okay. I give myself some time, and allow the motivation to come back on its own. And I try not to beat myself up about it.

2) I'm spending more time than ever with my little girl, and that's a huge thing. I've known a lot of very financially successful people who's biggest regret in life was missing so much of their children's formative years. Although being around kids all day is stressful.. and they seem to want snacks every 5 minutes... I think it's one of the most rewarding experiences in life.

3) I stay out of online arguments and debates. That shit saps my energy and sours my mood. The vitriol is stronger than ever now too. I just go on Facebook to answer customers and check in on the "UK Synthwave Group" for more new music.

4) Trying to stay fit is important. It's hard AF given the widespread closure of gyms across the country. I'm lucky to have a home gym setup in my garage, but a lot of people make do with push up / pull up bars and bodyweight movements like lunges. Keeping that routine can do a ton of lift your spirits.
 

Texasmade

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3) I stay out of online arguments and debates. That shit saps my energy and sours my mood. The vitriol is stronger than ever now too. I just go on Facebook to answer customers and check in on the "UK Synthwave Group" for more new music.
This is how I get through my day. Trolling SF in the CEsspool. It's quite entertaining for me.
 

Epaulet

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This is how I get through my day. Trolling SF in the CEsspool. It's quite entertaining for me.
Haha I guess to each his own.

My only transgression of that rule is making fun of Rudy Giuliani. But that's less a current political thing, and more my earned right as a former New Yorker. He's just making it so freaking easy these days. I'm still quoting screwed up things as "Total Landscaping" on a regular basis.

This tweet had me laughing for like two solid days....
Screen Shot 2020-12-01 at 1.34.46 PM copy.jpg
 

Michigan Planner

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@Epaulet - I'm sorry to read about the loss of those two guys from your high school class. I lost a good friend from high school to suicide about a decade ago and it still hits hard.

Other than my high school friend, as a Marine I've had more than a few other acquaintances that I've lost as well and I'm in a couple veterans groups where we keep an eye out for each other, know some warning signs to look for, and don't hesitate to call on each other when needed (or when we think somebody needs to have us check in on them unsolicited).

This year has definitely been a sh!tty one. I have to admit that I have a pretty good life and have always been great at handling stress (or more accurately, just not letting things stress me out in the first place). I've seen enough truly horrible things in my life that it's worked well at putting things in perspective for me, but I can definitely empathize with those who are going through worse things than me.

I can go months without going out to a bar or seeing friends in person during the best of times so that hasn't been an issue to me. But I do value some alone time. Previously, I'd get that alone time by going to the gym or on my daily commute. That has all ended but since I no longer have that commute (gyms are open, but I'm not that brave and a next door neighbor is an MD and Epidemiologist and used to head up some global medical initiative for the Gates Foundation and I told him to let me know when he's ready to go back into our gym because then I'll feel safe to as well) I've been able to run a lot more than I had been. I've managed to lose close to 40 pounds and this morning I think I actually saw the hint of some abs poking through! But the biggest thing about the running is that it gives me an hour or two completely to myself every day. I'd probably have gone insane by now without all that alone time.

We've got two little girls at home (a preschooler and a 5th grader) and I am so grateful that I've been able to work from home since March and gotten to spend so much time with them. Whenever she starts to get down about not going to an office everyday anymore, I always tell my wife that she's welcome to go back to work fulltime and I'll be the one to stay home with the kids. Now I can see why she's never taken me up on that offer! Hopefully my employer allows us to keep working from home once this is all over. But yes, them asking for a snack every 5 minutes still gets old real quick, no matter how much you love them!

I'd say that the constant being at home has hit my 5th grader the hardest. She had about 3 weeks in October where they were back in school in person (half days) but that ended and now they're entirely virtual again. She misses seeing her friends immensely and while the occasional Zoom call with 3 or 4 of them is fun, it's a poor substitute for the real thing. Whenever she has an outburst about being lonely I remind myself that she went to bed on March 12th expecting the next day to be like any other but woke up on Friday the 13th to a world that was totally foreign to her and she's still adjusting.
 

Sartorium

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I'm so sorry for your loss Eva.

I don't talk about it much publicly, but I had suicidal ideation from ~age 12-25ish. I am becoming increasingly convinced that one of the biggest drivers is social isolation. This has been an impossible year in a lot of ways. Please try to reach out to the people you care about.
 

Epaulet

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@Epaulet - I'm sorry to read about the loss of those two guys from your high school class. I lost a good friend from high school to suicide about a decade ago and it still hits hard.

Other than my high school friend, as a Marine I've had more than a few other acquaintances that I've lost as well and I'm in a couple veterans groups where we keep an eye out for each other, know some warning signs to look for, and don't hesitate to call on each other when needed (or when we think somebody needs to have us check in on them unsolicited).

This year has definitely been a sh!tty one. I have to admit that I have a pretty good life and have always been great at handling stress (or more accurately, just not letting things stress me out in the first place). I've seen enough truly horrible things in my life that it's worked well at putting things in perspective for me, but I can definitely empathize with those who are going through worse things than me.

I can go months without going out to a bar or seeing friends in person during the best of times so that hasn't been an issue to me. But I do value some alone time. Previously, I'd get that alone time by going to the gym or on my daily commute. That has all ended but since I no longer have that commute (gyms are open, but I'm not that brave and a next door neighbor is an MD and Epidemiologist and used to head up some global medical initiative for the Gates Foundation and I told him to let me know when he's ready to go back into our gym because then I'll feel safe to as well) I've been able to run a lot more than I had been. I've managed to lose close to 40 pounds and this morning I think I actually saw the hint of some abs poking through! But the biggest thing about the running is that it gives me an hour or two completely to myself every day. I'd probably have gone insane by now without all that alone time.

We've got two little girls at home (a preschooler and a 5th grader) and I am so grateful that I've been able to work from home since March and gotten to spend so much time with them. Whenever she starts to get down about not going to an office everyday anymore, I always tell my wife that she's welcome to go back to work fulltime and I'll be the one to stay home with the kids. Now I can see why she's never taken me up on that offer! Hopefully my employer allows us to keep working from home once this is all over. But yes, them asking for a snack every 5 minutes still gets old real quick, no matter how much you love them!

I'd say that the constant being at home has hit my 5th grader the hardest. She had about 3 weeks in October where they were back in school in person (half days) but that ended and now they're entirely virtual again. She misses seeing her friends immensely and while the occasional Zoom call with 3 or 4 of them is fun, it's a poor substitute for the real thing. Whenever she has an outburst about being lonely I remind myself that she went to bed on March 12th expecting the next day to be like any other but woke up on Friday the 13th to a world that was totally foreign to her and she's still adjusting.
Great post, thank you so much for sharing @Michigan Planner

Yeah, my daughter is touch and go with things. She's allowed to say that she "hates" the coronavirus, and has outbursts about it a few times a week. She's in a daycare which is sort of like school, but definitely resents the mask and distancing requirements.

We're lucky to be on a block with a bunch of other children her age. All of the parents decided to just let the kids play like normal a few months back, and it's been life-changing for them. We adults keep our interactions masked and outdoors, but the kids really need that normal-ish playtime. She's definitely stabilized a lot with that. We're supposed to begin hybrid schooling in two weeks, but with the COVID trends in California, who knows if that's actually going to happen.

Huge congrats on the 40lb weight loss!! Having made your custom clothing for the better part of 8 years, I recognize what a huge transformation that is. It's a great step for your health too. I dearly miss socializing at restaurants and night spots, but it's actually helped me quite a bit from a health perspective. Barely drinking alcohol and making all my meals at home makes it a lot easier to stay in shape. It's the polar opposite of my 2 to 3x a week Peter Luger meals with Julie Hertling a few years back.

I'm so sorry for your loss Eva.

I don't talk about it much publicly, but I had suicidal ideation from ~age 12-25ish. I am becoming increasingly convinced that one of the biggest drivers is social isolation. This has been an impossible year in a lot of ways. Please try to reach out to the people you care about.
Thank you @Sartorium and glad that you made it through. I'd agree that isolation is huge, especially for people who really thrived on interaction and travel. I'm lucky to have a great partner and a comfortable home, but it's easy to get despondent when I think of all the friends and places that I can't see. I can absolutely understand how that can drive people into a really deep slump. You're totally right that reaching out to people for a little bit of a connection is crucial.
 

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