Embassy reception

[Casaubon]

Hi all,

I was fortunate enough to receive an invitation for a evening reception at an ambassador's residence in July. The dress code was not specified so I am clueless as to the rules one should apply. It should be stated that 1) it can get quite hot here, and 2) people here are very lenient and/or clueless when it comes to rules on clothing, so there are bound to be many who will be underdressed no matter what. Given that, I won't obsess about my choices, but would still like to hear for more experienced members' opinions. I was thinking of wearing a navy check suit in a super 120s wool, which is completely unlined. White dress shirt with white cotton pocket square, plus silk tie (still undecided on the color though). I don't own any evening wear per se if that's what's expected.

Who would like to weigh in? What can I expect and what is expected of me? Looking forward to reading some comments!

 

[ter1413]

Suit. White shirt. Tie. Pretty much a no brainer.

 

[ter1413]

What is expected of you?

-Don't get drunk.
-Don't hit on the ambassador's wife/husband.
-Socialize.
-Network.
-You may want to have a small bite to eat before you head there.

 

[Casaubon]

Last time I accidentally spilled some salmon canapés on a dignitary of an unknown African country. But at least I had the dress code figured out.

Edit: That I should wear a suit, that much I do know. Just wondering if my idea was too casual in regards to the fabric and pattern. It's a pretty open weave, very breathable. Plus the jacket is just an ordinary single-breasted, two button, notch lapel deal. So there's that as well.

 

[Jan Capek]

As a former diplomat I cannot leave this without my two cents. At most receptions I have attended (or helped host) there would be some small amount of boors who showed up in jeans and sports coats. They are inevitable. You should not be them.

In a dictionary a reception is defined as a "formal" or "ceremonious" social event. That means you should forget linen or light colors, and you should wear a tie (at least before the elders blow the "all clear", which should never happen before the speech and anthems), a white shirt, and leather dress shoes. Whether your suit will be 120s is irrelevant, but it should be plain and dark unless poolside and daytime (and even then, I would not wear light colors unless you are a great donor or some community celebrity). Your tie should be conservative. You should look presentable and respectful. Bring your wife or a good friend. (I myself am a bit of a bumpkin at these events unless accompanied by my wife - she lends me that certain something, if you know what I mean.)

What is expected of you. Good behavior, a handshake upon entry, some smooth line (You will have 5-10 seconds to greet the Ambassador and his/her partner, so a brief "I'm X from Y, and this is my wife Z. Thank you for inviting us. We're happy to be here" will do). Then mingling. Good behavior is indicated no matter what others do. You are a cultured human being and you know that you are representing yourself, your company, your parents, while at the same time paying respect to the host country, the embassy staff (hosts), and the great cultural achievement world diplomacy is (no less).

Tips:
1) Learn something about the host country and its customs, be mindful of cultural differences. (Don't praise the pork chops or temperature of the beer when engaged in a conversation with a Muslim guest etc.)
2) Be empathetic to the stakeholders - the hosts. They want the reception to be successful as it reflects on them and their country. Guests dancing on tables or getting stoned throws a cloud of doubt as to the embassy staff's choice of invitees. So no matter what you see or how lenient or loose you think others are, bear this in mind, be the cream of the crop and do not allow yourself to insult your host by cheapening their reception.

But I don't need to tell you this. You are serious and responsible enough to research this topic. The suit you described should be fine.

 

[zanci]

Could anyone give advice about wearing a tuxedo at the event? Would a tux be preffered or just go for the classic suit?

 

[Jan Capek]

Could anyone give advice about wearing a tuxedo at the event? Would a tux be preffered or just go for the classic suit?

The rule of thumb is to go for a regular suit unless the invite expressly states "black tie". If it doesn't, chances are you'd be the only one wearing a tux.
Also, if it says "black tie", don't show up with a black tie

 

[Casaubon]

Thank you for the wonderfully insightful contribution, Jan! As I already mentioned above, I attended one similar event before, but the occasion was different and the dress code was clearly defined.

I suppose that my main concern was whether the suit I was thinking of was too casual, but your input helped clear any doubts. In that sense, the original question about expectations refered to what would be considered proper wear, i.e. what will the ambassador wear. Sorry if I was unclear and it came out if I was wondering about the general tone of the event. Nevertheless, it's always good to remind oneself about the general dos and don'ts.

P.S. I agree and definitely emphatize when it comes to the presence of the wife -- unfortunately even she was unable to prevent the aforementioned food spilling incident, me being the rube that I sometimes am.