Double dating

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Ambulance Chaser, Mar 7, 2005.

  1. PeterMetro

    PeterMetro Senior member

    Messages:
    796
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2002
    Location:
    New York
    Do you submit your W2? How could they possibly know what you all make?
     


  2. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Likes Received:
    390
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    (globetrotter @ Mar. 10 2005,07:24) one thing that pisses me off is that when my wife and her friends go out, they have sort of adopted a system where they pay according to the abilities of their husbands. so myself and the doctor in the group seem to treat all of the other women an awful lot.
    Do you submit your W2? Â How could they possibly know what you all make?
    well, one of the husbands works nights in a hog de-assembly plant, one is an emergency medical technitian, one is a full partner in radiologist practice and I am a VP international Sales at a high tech company. there is an assumtion involved, but I am not sure that it is a false assumption. Although, frankly, there are also a few who are very dificult to place - an account manager for a large consumer goods company, a chemist, a bookeeper for the IRS..... I guess it boils down to who is more open and who is more careful with their money.
     


  3. Carlo

    Carlo Senior member

    Messages:
    1,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2003
    Depends on who with....

    With good friends we usually fight for it and take turns.

    With someone I don't know as well I generally stick my credit card in the thing and hand it to the other guy and say 'wanna just split it'.

    With Jill's dad he'll always fight me for the check and I always whisper to the waitress "I'll tip better" and since he refuses to wear a hearing aid he always loses the war and has no idea why.
     


  4. ernest

    ernest Senior member

    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2004
    Location:
    PARIS
    I pay for what i ate.
    My girl pays for what she ate.

    The 2 others do what they want to.
     


  5. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member Admin Moderator

    Messages:
    34,508
    Likes Received:
    12,112
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Location:
    Moscow, Idaho
    It seems to be a very common practice in Europe for the couple to split the bill in the way ernest describes.

    I know very few North American friends who do not pay for the girl. Personally, I always pay for my fiancee (and did so for dates and girlfriends before her), unless it is obviously a special treat (a birthday or something.) Of course, on a first or second date, especially, a woman is generally expected to put up some sort of token resistance.

    Among friends, usually the bill is split equally among all parties (you still get to pay for your girl.) Lesson: order the lobster and the best wine occasionally, and desert if everyone else is doing so.
     


  6. fkl118

    fkl118 Senior member

    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Proper etiquette would say that the bill is split evenly among the four (or more) people. But, my wife and I occasionally go out with another couple and the other fellow would always order the most expensive items on the menu and still expect to evenly split the bill. [​IMG] It's driven me nuts, so I try to avoid dinners with them now.
     


  7. Alexis

    Alexis Senior member

    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2004


  8. Andrew V.

    Andrew V. Senior member

    Messages:
    405
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2004
    Location:
    Ohio, United States
    I've never heard such a thing from any authority on proper etiquette. If you'd kindly cite a source I would appreciate it.
     


  9. ernest

    ernest Senior member

    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2004
    Location:
    PARIS
    Why are you so stingy? If you like your friends you don't even look at the prices. Your comment makes me think that you only split because your weak personality obliges you to follow a social rule and because you are afraid to express yourself for fear of not beeing loved by people. If you want to split, don't calculate who ate what. Nobody prevent you from eating something more exepensive than the cheapest dish.
     


  10. ernest

    ernest Senior member

    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2004
    Location:
    PARIS
    Your girl is homeless? Non capable to make her own money?
     


  11. fkl118

    fkl118 Senior member

    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    (fkl118 @ May 10 2005,04:28) Proper etiquette would say that the bill is split evenly among the four (or more) people. But, my wife and I occasionally go out with another couple and the other fellow would always order the most expensive items on the menu and still expect to evenly split the bill. Â [​IMG] It's driven me nuts, so I try to avoid dinners with them now.
    Why are you so stingy? If you like your friends you don't even look at the prices. Your comment  makes me think that you only split because your weak personality obliges you to follow a social rule and because you are afraid to express yourself for fear of not beeing loved by people. If you want to split, don't calculate who ate what. Nobody prevent you from eating something more exepensive than the cheapest dish.
    Ernest, you're right: if I had it my way, I'd tell him off. It's obvious the rest of our group is being taken advantage of. But I don't, and so we just avoid him. AV: I don't know of any definitive source but here's some links from a quick search: http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/...ebt/P58016.asp http://www.salary.com/advice....82.html
     


  12. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member Admin Moderator

    Messages:
    34,508
    Likes Received:
    12,112
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Location:
    Moscow, Idaho
    No, but general etiquette in North America is that the man treats.  In Chinese culture, the most senior member of the group usually has the honor of paying.  When a group of established (i.e. not poor students) Chinese go for dinner, it is nearly unheard of for the bill to be split. Usually there is a pantomine fight between the men (and encouraged by the women) to pay the entire bill.  Junior members of the party (in the younger generation) usually just sit back.  It would be considered impolite to try to be part of the senior group.  In practice, usually the same party meets for dinner regularly, and things more or less even out.  As a product of 2 cultures, I generally follow these customs.

    Not every culture thinks of money in the same way.  In *many* cultures, to be able to bestow beneficence is considered the perogative of the most respected members of the society.
     


  13. PeterMetro

    PeterMetro Senior member

    Messages:
    796
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2002
    Location:
    New York
    Fighting over who pays for a Chinese dinner is one of the joys of life. I've seen grown men climbing over each other, literally, to get their hands on the check, while the other is desperately holding it just out of reach. It's like kids bickering over candy, but good natured.

    All this talk is making me hungru - I may go get some noodles.
     


  14. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member Admin Moderator

    Messages:
    34,508
    Likes Received:
    12,112
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Location:
    Moscow, Idaho
    Shanghai style thick noodles with a side of hot and sour soup.  Could eat that myself, right now.  Hey, PeterMetro, place you entry into the Haiku for ernest thread.
     


  15. Get Smart

    Get Smart Don't Crink

    Messages:
    12,158
    Likes Received:
    67
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2004
    Location:
    A town called Malice
    this has never been an issue for me since the couples we go to dinner with all just "know" to figure out what their share is and put in the amount + tip.

    amazingly, we've had birthday party dinners where everyone (15+ people) looked at the bill, put in their 3 cents, and miraculously, after everyone pitched in, the right amount for bill+tip was collected without having to do the awkward "ok we're short" gesture
     


Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by