Do you make restaurant reservations via Open Table and give "special messages" to the restaurant?

[kennethpollock]

I do.
And I always request:

Please no first name introduction by waiter. Do not call us "folks" or "you guys." Do not say: "I will be taking care of you tonight," "do you have any questions about the menu?," "awesome," fantastic," "amazing," "good choice," or "still working on that?" Do not snatch anyone's plate away before everyone at the table is finished with the course. Do not present the bill (saying "I'll take that whenever you are ready") before I ask for it.

 

[gomestar]

I don't, but if I did I would probably ask to not be seated near somebody like yourself.

 

[ehkay]

Do you desire coffee, sir?

 

[RedLantern]



I do.
And I always request:
Please no first name introduction by waiter. Do not call us "folks" or "you guys." Do not say: "I will be taking care of you tonight," "do you have any questions about the menu?," "awesome," fantastic," "amazing," "good choice," or "still working on that?" Do not snatch anyone's plate away before everyone at the table is finished with the course. Do not present the bill (saying "I'll take that whenever you are ready") before I ask for it.

If you desire a more formal service, perhaps you should dine only at the most formal restaurants? The fact is, 95% of people dining out expect and desire the things you listed above. The problem is, people don't know the rules (diners, or servers), so they aren't the rules anymore (with the exception of very formal restaurants). People actually complain if servers don't introduce themselves, arent chatty, and have to be asked for the check.

 

[rnoldh]



I don't, but if I did I would probably ask to not be seated near somebody like yourself.

Yes, and seems like the OP should dine at "fine buffets".

 

[itsstillmatt]

Nobody ever says these things to me, but keep fighting the good fight.

 

[ama]

MOAR RANCH PLZ

 

[akatsuki]

I am pretty sure OP has probably consumed more than his fair share of waiter spit by this point.

 

[kennethpollock]



Nobody ever says these things to me, but keep fighting the good fight.

Strange, but I almost remember that a very lovely lady, sitting next to you at a celebration at a certain grand hotel in London on September 1, told me that when she ate at the French Laundry, her waiter would not stop talking and treated her and her companions like rubes.

 

[gomestar]

I've heard some pretty hilarious stories from that meetup.

 

[Joffrey]

well?

 

[Biscotti]

wtf? That is all.

 

[itsstillmatt]



Strange, but I almost remember that a very lovely lady, sitting next to you at a celebration at a certain grand hotel in London on September 1, told me that when she ate at the French Laundry, her waiter would not stop talking and treated her and her companions like rubes.

Yeah, they were pretty schmucky. Probably the worst service I've had in several years. We don't get a ton of it around home, though. It is probably because we go to the same few places and they know our rhythms.

 

[mordecai]

I've never left any instructions, but this thread has given me some good prank ideas.

 

[rach2jlc]

In theory, I think the OP's comments are fair; if you are paying that much for a meal, it should be exactly how you want it. Were I the owner of a fine restaurant, I'd want my customers giving me instructions like that to ensure that they enjoy their meal. It's important because, as another poster said, every place is quite different and some of the things the OP finds disagreeable are things other customers might want/expect.

That being said, my only curiousity is whether or not they take these comments seriously. Aside from places where you are a regular or where (as matt mentions) they know your routines, I'd say they couldn't care less, and probably roll their eyes.... assuming they even read them. I tend to be a person of routines in any case, but a small place that knows how I like things is far better than a big "famous" place where I have to send an e-card to get them to provide the service I want. Sure, their sea bass may not be as great, but it's worth it if I don't have to listen to some asshat chatting about his cream sauce like he's just figured out the Rosetta stone.

I've never left any instructions, but this thread has given me some good prank ideas.

"As a gentleman of rather specific tastes, I request a table placed slightly away from other customers, wherein I can be served in the nude."