Do you forgive people that have wronged you?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by olualbert, Mar 31, 2010.

  1. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    no benifit in holding a grudge
     


  2. Dw3610wm

    Dw3610wm Senior member

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    My policy is that I'll forgive nearly anything once, provided I care for the person and they're sincerely sorry.

    Quicker than I'd like to, usually. Don't think twice, it's alright.

    "Nothing will be forgiven, everything will be forgotten."

    haha all of these look like their avatars are saying it. ^^
     


  3. robertorex

    robertorex Senior member

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    I forgive those who wrong me and are sorry in the sense that I don't wish ill upon them.

    Those who come upon me with malice, I tend to return in kind.
     


  4. Listi

    Listi Senior member

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    It definitely depends. I'm a respect driven person. Not in a traditional "respect authority" or "respect my decisions" type way, not at all. In a way more dealing with honesty and manipulation.

    I'm not easily offended, and fairly forgiving. However, I think that someone repeatedly lying, violating trust, or attempting to manipulate you is dehumanizing behaviour, you've become a tool, no longer a person. Behaviour like this is extremely offensive to me, and cannot be forgiven. The person's relation to you matters greatly as well, an enemy is more easily forgiven than a friend. An enemy is just doing what they are supposed to, and you'd do the same to them. A friend doing such things is failing miserably at their supposed position, they are severing the bond of trust between friends, and unless swiftly remedied, will be severed forever.

    It is very rare I have ever had situations arise where I could not forgive. I have had friends offend me before, and I have stepped in immediately and notified them of the way I felt about their actions very explicitly. It usually never happens again, and that's proof enough for me that they care about and respect our friendship.

    In cases where I cannot forgive, I do not hold a grudge, but avoid them. Luckily, I haven't ran into a situation that makes this impossible.
     


  5. CDFS

    CDFS Senior member

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    I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.

    Oprah?
     


  6. leftover_salmon

    leftover_salmon Senior member

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    no benifit in holding a grudge

    Self-respect? If someone fucks you over and gets away with it, are you just going to smile and welcome them with open arms the next time you see them? I'd prefer to not be such a doormat.
     


  7. olualbert

    olualbert Senior member

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    Oprah?

    I personally do not agree with most of her shows concerning social issues....I think her shows are more geared towards what I termed, "social engineering" which is the reason why most families dp not listen to one another in the states.
     


  8. Eason

    Eason Bicurious Racist

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    I'm a bit too forgiving.
     


  9. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Senior member

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    It definitely depends. I'm a respect driven person. Not in a traditional "respect authority" or "respect my decisions" type way, not at all. In a way more dealing with honesty and manipulation.

    I'm not easily offended, and fairly forgiving. However, I think that someone repeatedly lying, violating trust, or attempting to manipulate you is dehumanizing behaviour, you've become a tool, no longer a person. Behaviour like this is extremely offensive to me, and cannot be forgiven. The person's relation to you matters greatly as well, an enemy is more easily forgiven than a friend. An enemy is just doing what they are supposed to, and you'd do the same to them. A friend doing such things is failing miserably at their supposed position, they are severing the bond of trust between friends, and unless swiftly remedied, will be severed forever.

    It is very rare I have ever had situations arise where I could not forgive. I have had friends offend me before, and I have stepped in immediately and notified them of the way I felt about their actions very explicitly. It usually never happens again, and that's proof enough for me that they care about and respect our friendship.

    In cases where I cannot forgive, I do not hold a grudge, but avoid them. Luckily, I haven't ran into a situation that makes this impossible.



    Very well put. I have the same philosophy especially the part concerning friends wronging me. I can't forgive in these instances.
     


  10. hendrix

    hendrix Ill-proportioned

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    I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.

    yes. Another example would be a family forgiving a drunk driver who killed their son. They forgive him in that they don't wish ill upon him, but they certainly don't condone drink driving.

    No point in harbouring resentment. You gotta do the best thing for yourself.
     


  11. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    I gotta be honest: I'm generally a forgiving guy- hell I don't think I have any issues with anybody right now... but I don't think I will ever forgive anyone who might harm my kids, God forbid.
     


  12. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    I forgive, and try to forget.
     


  13. Murdoc

    Murdoc Senior member

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    I forgive, and try to forget.

    Not trying to be funny, but I tend to forget more then I forgive, so whenever I'm reminded weeks, months, years later, a rant usually follows and then eventually I forget again.

    Also, yeah it depends on the situation, some stuff is unforgiveable, but it's pretty rare in my life style.
     


  14. topcatny

    topcatny Senior member

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    I am a fairly forgiving person. I can vent my anger and frustration and move on with my life and interact with people who have wronged me much like I did before. I hardly ever forget though.
     


  15. EZETHATSME

    EZETHATSME Senior member

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    I do my best.

    EZ
     


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