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Do you forgive people that have wronged you?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by olualbert, Mar 31, 2010.

  1. olualbert

    olualbert Senior member

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    When I was growing up, I was always told by my parent to forgive: let it go, forgive and forget.... and so on. My intellectual curiosity, however, jump-started recently when someone I cared about pointed my attention to it. So, I am asking folks in the forum, do you forgive people that have wronged you? Do you understand what forgiveness is? If so, share your opinion or thoughts on this topic. Maybe I can learn one or two things from the discussion.
     
  2. hossoso

    hossoso Senior member

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    When you wrong as many people as I do, you would have to be a hypocrite to not be a very forgiving person.
     
  3. Hany

    Hany Senior member

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    If they apologize yes.
     
  4. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    When you wrong as many people as I do, you would have to be a hypocrite to not be a very forgiving person.

    This is a very good way to look at it.
    I forgive.
    I hope I am forgiven.
     
  5. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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  6. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    My policy is that I'll forgive nearly anything once, provided I care for the person and they're sincerely sorry.
     
  7. uhurit

    uhurit Senior member

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    Sure...and then teach them a lesson they'll never forget, so that they never do it again
     
  8. Gingahbman

    Gingahbman Senior member

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    Everyone gets a few free passes in my book.
     
  9. InPa

    InPa Well-Known Member

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    In general yes, on exception no.
     
  10. leftover_salmon

    leftover_salmon Senior member

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    If they give what seems to be a sincere apology, then yes. Otherwise I hold a grudge forever.
     
  11. hendrix

    hendrix Senior member

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    I forgive them in the sense that i won't remain angry at them or anything.

    If it's a serious thing like a girlfriend cheating, i'll forgive them but i won't stay with them. So yeah, forgive, but not trust again.
     
  12. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

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    Quicker than I'd like to, usually. Don't think twice, it's alright.
     
  13. olualbert

    olualbert Senior member

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    I forgive them in the sense that i won't remain angry at them or anything.

    If it's a serious thing like a girlfriend cheating, i'll forgive them but i won't stay with them. So yeah, forgive, but not trust again.



    I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.
     
  14. gotlighters

    gotlighters Senior member

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    depends on what they did.
     
  15. Fuuma

    Fuuma Senior member

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    "Nothing will be forgiven, everything will be forgotten."
     
  16. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    no benifit in holding a grudge
     
  17. Dw3610wm

    Dw3610wm Senior member

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    My policy is that I'll forgive nearly anything once, provided I care for the person and they're sincerely sorry.

    Quicker than I'd like to, usually. Don't think twice, it's alright.

    "Nothing will be forgiven, everything will be forgotten."

    haha all of these look like their avatars are saying it. ^^
     
  18. robertorex

    robertorex Senior member

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    I forgive those who wrong me and are sorry in the sense that I don't wish ill upon them.

    Those who come upon me with malice, I tend to return in kind.
     
  19. Listi

    Listi Senior member

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    It definitely depends. I'm a respect driven person. Not in a traditional "respect authority" or "respect my decisions" type way, not at all. In a way more dealing with honesty and manipulation.

    I'm not easily offended, and fairly forgiving. However, I think that someone repeatedly lying, violating trust, or attempting to manipulate you is dehumanizing behaviour, you've become a tool, no longer a person. Behaviour like this is extremely offensive to me, and cannot be forgiven. The person's relation to you matters greatly as well, an enemy is more easily forgiven than a friend. An enemy is just doing what they are supposed to, and you'd do the same to them. A friend doing such things is failing miserably at their supposed position, they are severing the bond of trust between friends, and unless swiftly remedied, will be severed forever.

    It is very rare I have ever had situations arise where I could not forgive. I have had friends offend me before, and I have stepped in immediately and notified them of the way I felt about their actions very explicitly. It usually never happens again, and that's proof enough for me that they care about and respect our friendship.

    In cases where I cannot forgive, I do not hold a grudge, but avoid them. Luckily, I haven't ran into a situation that makes this impossible.
     
  20. CDFS

    CDFS Senior member

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    I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.

    Oprah?
     

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