Do you expect compliments when dressing up?

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by gaseousclay, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. Veremund

    Veremund Senior member

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  2. FillW

    FillW Senior member

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    The bars set so low that most people around here wouldn't be able to tell you if there were any flaws. [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  3. elvi679

    elvi679 Senior member

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    I agree with JohnBoy - I try to give compliments to address the fact that the person is giving thought to their appearance. I went out the other day dressed rather casually - however I had my Alden Indy boots and I received 3 compliments at the mall from various people.... made me feel appreciated... why not pass that on?? Another thing I do every once and a while is to pay for the person behind me when I am in the drive thru (which is not too too often) but I say to the person taking the money that tell the next person they were "victim of a random act of kindness - pass it on to someone else today). It only costs a couple of dollars - and I think we need more of this in this world.
     
  4. Ivar

    Ivar Senior member

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    Love the incongruity between the goody-goody writing and the avatar. :laugh:
     
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  5. FillW

    FillW Senior member

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    That's an interesting concept. Wonder how many guys are insecure about their own manhood and won't do something like compliment another man about the way he dresses?
     
  6. Big Texas

    Big Texas Senior member

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    Probably quite a few. Maybe most.

    I'd argue, though, that it's not just a simple case of male insecurity. There's also a societal taboo at play. Now, you could argue that the social norms governing the way men interact with men are, inherently, laced with underlying homophobia and insecurity. And in many cases, you'd be right. But that's sort of beside the point. Most men would feel weird about complementing another man's appearance simply because they have no real precedent for it. It's "not something that is done."

    Perhaps more to your point, I think it does take a very self-confident and secure individual to break that taboo. But the security of such a person doesn't necessarily imply the insecurity of the inverse.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2013
  7. Veremund

    Veremund Senior member

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    Has nothing to do with insecurity. We also wouldn't compliment a stranger's grandmother on her egg-sucking ability.

     
  8. Veremund

    Veremund Senior member

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    However, I have been stopped by strangers not to compliment my clothing, but to enquire where they could acquire the item in question, such as my tweed cap or wing tips.
     
  9. Pawz

    Pawz Senior member

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    *taps your shoulder*
    I expect to be told I'm gay, which I accept as a compliment (despite being straight). ;)
     
  10. FillW

    FillW Senior member

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    In other words a lotta guys are full of shit, right? [​IMG]
     
  11. kcox68

    kcox68 Senior member

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    I agree with a lot of what's already been posted but would also like to suggest that many men would feel awkward complimenting either an unknown man or woman on their clothing. I live in a relatively conservative area (for dress, not politics) and often receive compliments on my dress from men I know but never from a stranger. In fact, I received some very nice compliments on my shoes at a meeting last night from a man I don't really know very well at all. So, while I agree that sometimes there is homophobia and taboo involved, I think another factor is merely the reluctance of strangers to talk to each other about anything more substantial than the weather.
     
  12. VinnyMac

    VinnyMac Senior member

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    I hear you. I'd guess that, outside of style/fashion forums, most guys don't even notice what other guys are wearing. When I'm out, I rarely give random men a first look, let alone a second one, so I usually have no clue what they're wearing. I don't care about what they're wearing. A lot of straight guys are probably in that same boat. It's not homophobia. It's just complete disinterest. I don't pay attention to what unattractive women are wearing either.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2013
  13. upr_crust

    upr_crust Senior member

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    Do I expect compliments? No. Do I receive them? On occasion, and generally they are happy surprises, and overwhelmingly from women. One recent occurrence happened at the office (I work in a large office tower, all owned by my employer) - a woman from another floor on my normal elevator bank said, "You always look so nice". Now, please realize that I did not recognize the woman as someone with whom I work, nor do I remember seeing her often (if at all) in transit in the elevators. This compliment, as pleasant as it was, took me aback a bit.

    As for straight men being indifferent to the way that other men are dressed, I am sure that this is correct. Straight men generally do not see themselves as sex objects (as opposed to straight women, who definitely see men as sex objects). Gay men (of which I am one) are, on the other hand, usually quite conscious of the fact that a better-kept or better-managed appearance means more sexual opportunities.
     
  14. FillW

    FillW Senior member

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    UC: You get them every day. [​IMG]
     
  15. Quadcammer

    Quadcammer Senior member

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    wow, you are so singly minded that you can only focus on attractive women

    sad.
     

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