Diplomats give up adopted child after having their own

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by texas_jack, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    As much as the parents deserve bad karma, I do not want it visited on the biological children, who are innocent victims in this mess. So I'm hoping that the biological children turn out to be total brats who drive their parents crazy.
    May they pick boogers and flick them in their parents' mouths while sleeping......[​IMG]

    (Seriously, these "adults" need to be severely beaten. At least.)
     


  2. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Lifestyle change - no homo

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    I'm associated with a very similar situation. My sister was working with an adoption agency a few years ago to try and adopt a baby and got a call asking if they would consider adopting an 11 year old boy (they have one of their own and now two adopted and two foster kids).

    Turns out the boy's mother had lost custody when he was 5 and he was adopted by a family who raised him to age 11 (they also had one biological son). Now however, the adopted mother wanted to give the boy back.

    My sister was skeptical not wanting to strap on major behavioral issues, etc. She started asking questions: How is he doing in school? Great. Does he have behavior problems? No, he's very sweet. Health problems? None to speak of.

    This just didn't sound right, so she called the adoptive mother and started interviewing her. Basically the woman told her that he didn't hug her enough and that now she knew what she needed in an adopted child and would make a better decision next time. But for now he wasn't fitting in to their family and wasn't meeting her needs as a mother.

    My sister arranged for him to come visit for a week. Everything went great but at the end of the week the mother wouldn't take him back and wouldn't even let him come back (he was from a different state 1,000 miles away) to say goodbye to his friends at school.

    So my sister and her husband wound up adopting him about 2 years ago. There have been a few issues here and there, but basically he's a great kid. A bit on the shy side, but he's really starting to come out of his shell. He's got some minor issues (who wouldn't) and she has him in therapy and he's doing better. He's a bit behind in school, but is doing better and starting to catch up.

    My sister reported some things she found out that the woman had done while the boy was with them and last we heard her state had revoked her rights to be a foster or adoptive parent.
     


  3. horndog

    horndog Senior member

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    Your sister is a saint. What a horrible situation for that kid, I hope he develops well.

    There should be parenting licenses.
     


  4. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

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    There should be parenting licenses.
    In theory; but in practice, imagine the graft.
     


  5. imageWIS

    imageWIS Senior member

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    There should be parenting licenses.


    + a trillion.

    Jon.
     


  6. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    Basically the woman told her that he didn't hug her enough and that now she knew what she needed in an adopted child and would make a better decision next time. But for now he wasn't fitting in to their family and wasn't meeting her needs as a mother.

    Holy hell, that is all kinds of wrong.
     


  7. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    It reminds me of an episode of Absolutely Fabulous where Eddie calls her assistant to send over a selection of Rumanian babies for to pick from.
     


  8. redcaimen

    redcaimen Bigtime

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    I'm associated with a very similar situation. My sister was working with an adoption agency a few years ago to try and adopt a baby and got a call asking if they would consider adopting an 11 year old boy (they have one of their own and now two adopted and two foster kids).

    Turns out the boy's mother had lost custody when he was 5 and he was adopted by a family who raised him to age 11 (they also had one biological son). Now however, the adopted mother wanted to give the boy back.

    My sister was skeptical not wanting to strap on major behavioral issues, etc. She started asking questions: How is he doing in school? Great. Does he have behavior problems? No, he's very sweet. Health problems? None to speak of.

    This just didn't sound right, so she called the adoptive mother and started interviewing her. Basically the woman told her that he didn't hug her enough and that now she knew what she needed in an adopted child and would make a better decision next time. But for now he wasn't fitting in to their family and wasn't meeting her needs as a mother.

    My sister arranged for him to come visit for a week. Everything went great but at the end of the week the mother wouldn't take him back and wouldn't even let him come back (he was from a different state 1,000 miles away) to say goodbye to his friends at school.

    So my sister and her husband wound up adopting him about 2 years ago. There have been a few issues here and there, but basically he's a great kid. A bit on the shy side, but he's really starting to come out of his shell. He's got some minor issues (who wouldn't) and she has him in therapy and he's doing better. He's a bit behind in school, but is doing better and starting to catch up.

    My sister reported some things she found out that the woman had done while the boy was with them and last we heard her state had revoked her rights to be a foster or adoptive parent.


    If there is a God I hope he blesses your sister.
     


  9. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    Your sister is a saint. What a horrible situation for that kid, I hope he develops well.


    Agreed.
     


  10. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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  11. West24

    West24 Senior member

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    wow mark your sister is a great person. but i cant help to think about what she/their family is going to go through when he gets a little bit older. theres no way he wont have some kind of self esteem issues etc. i know im being pessimistic but i have a feeling its going to be really, really difficult. people go through way less and turn out totally messed up because of it, i cant even imagine how he feels inside etc. but i really hope it works out. i dont know how people could do that to someone, its beyond crazy, kids arent pets. you cant just give them away.
     


  12. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Lifestyle change - no homo

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    wow mark your sister is a great person. but i cant help to think about what she/their family is going to go through when he gets a little bit older. theres no way he wont have some kind of self esteem issues etc. i know im being pessimistic but i have a feeling its going to be really, really difficult. people go through way less and turn out totally messed up because of it, i cant even imagine how he feels inside etc. but i really hope it works out. i dont know how people could do that to someone, its beyond crazy, kids arent pets. you cant just give them away.

    I think you are being a bit pessimistic. He's had some really shitty things happen to him and he's had some really good things happen to him. He currently lives in a big house on a family farm with 2 brothers and cousins and family nearby. He's got woods and a creek to run and play in and parents who understand that you can't just give him all that and hope for the best. You've got to be attuned to the issue and get him the help he needs when he needs it. They're doing that.

    The number of people who had shitty upbringings in this world vastly outnumber the mass murderers. Lots of people had shitty upbringings and bad things happen to them that don't become career criminals. I reject the idea that he's somehow an unredeemable human because he had a caretaker who was a slimy human on a fast track to hell. He'll get the help he needs to contextualize that experience and understand it's not his self-worth that's at issue, but hers.

    Anyway...she recently got two little foster kids (1 and 3) whose parents are meth addicts and having their kids removed by CPS has done zero to motivate them to quit. Looks like that one's on the fast track to having their parental rights revoked. If so, I think she'll wind up adopting them too. I haven't met them yet, but will in a couple of weeks when we go up for Christmas.
     


  13. West24

    West24 Senior member

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    im not saying hes going to grow up to be a serial killer, i just cant see how this wont affect him somehow through the rest of his life. im not saying it will take over him or anything, but im not an expert so who am i to say. atleast he has a good home now. you should call up oprah or something about your sister.
     


  14. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    That sets a new low, but I've also heard stories in my country of how big pricks these European and American diplomats and expats can sometimes be. From running away from accident scenes to racial slurs on people in their host country to how they treat household help like animals to refusing paying for their leased housing and flying off.
     


  15. Mustapha

    Mustapha Senior member

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    That sets a new low, but I've also heard stories in my country of how big pricks these European and American diplomats and expats can sometimes be. From running away from accident scenes to racial slurs on people in their host country to how they treat household help like animals to refusing paying for their leased housing and flying off.

    Sure. Hang around the UN in NYC and see these awfully comfortable folks coming and going in very expensive cars and you will see what I mean.[​IMG] [​IMG]
     


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