Crazy self-pleasuring methods

[Don Carlos]

What is the wackiest technique you've ever used to get yourself off? The Stranger? Autofellatio (pics or it didn't happen)? Dressing up in lingerie, hanging yourself, and then beating yourself with a bullwhip?

Discuss here.

For example: I had a college roommate who used to hump a certain pillow and would not even fathom the idea of usinf his hand the old-fashioned way. That pillow must have been disgusting (and crisp!) after a few years of use.

 

[acidboy]

the baggie, the indian burn and the little mermaid comes to mind...

 

[gort]

Leather couch with a velvet dick hole!

 

[kwoyeu]

.... self censored ...

 

[harryx2]

Originally Posted by Don Carlos

What is the wackiest technique you've ever used to get yourself off? The Stranger? Autofellatio (pics or it didn't happen)? Dressing up in lingerie, hanging yourself, and then beating yourself with a bullwhip?

Discuss here.

For example: I had a college roommate who used to hump a certain pillow and would not even fathom the idea of usinf his hand the old-fashioned way. That pillow must have been disgusting (and crisp!) after a few years of use.

Why are you telling us about your roommate and not about yourself?

 

[Dakota rube]

And we still have posters here who deny their narcissism.

 

[globetrotter]

I knew a farmboy who would get the calves to suck ********, or so he claimed.

 

[DerekS]

choking is scary....my mom knew a family whos son died this way when he was about 14. found him in the shower dead with a cord around his neck. Good grief, what happened to the good ole fashined standy by of a dry handsky or a hooker??

 

[Lane]

i have no elaborate methods...just good old fashion meat beating

 

[Don Carlos]

Originally Posted by harryx2

Why are you telling us about your roommate and not about yourself?

Because I'm fairly traditional, at least as far as mechanical technique is concerned. I'm something of a connoisseur of freaky and wildly varying genres of Appreciation, so that's where the kink comes into play. But as for the physical act, I prefer the classic method of circle-hand-around-dong-and-beat-up-and-down.

 

[razl]

Originally Posted by Don Carlos

For example: I had a college roommate who used to hump a certain pillow...

Originally Posted by harryx2

Why are you telling us about your roommate and not about yourself

Gosh, you fell for it

 

[Don Carlos]

Originally Posted by razl

Gosh, you fell for it

Yeah, I half figured he was going for the sarcastic "oh, your 'roommate'" joke, but his phrasing was terrible if so. That's on him, man. There's not getting it, and then there's an "it" that's so poorly worded as to make itself lost.

 

[Mr. White]

Just call up an ex-gf you hate, hold your nose, and get it over with.

That, or pull a Car Wash and pick up a cashier.