Contacting a girl for the first time

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Jr Mouse, Dec 11, 2010.

  1. Jr Mouse

    Jr Mouse Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Didn't read every post on this thread, because couldn't help but think of the scene in the movie Swingers. Most cringe worthy scene.

    Anyways, if you have rules about when to and not to contact, boy... talk about a boring life. Just go with the flow. If she some how thinks that makes you desperate if you called the next day, F**k her, not worth your time.


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    I can barely watch this scene... You are right, it's easily one of the most cringe worthy scenes ever put to film. [​IMG]

    Movie's a classic. [​IMG]
     


  2. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    You text women to ask them out on your first date?

    Srsly? I thought you were an adult. Like 30 years old. That's like.... teenager shit.


    I'm 26 and hang with plenty of people +/- 5 years from my age and in my experience girls almost exclusively text unless they are chatting with their bff's. Which is perfectly fine with me as I don't like talking on the phone.
     


  3. nootje

    nootje Senior member

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    If i was interested id call the next day, or text to get a follow up date.

    Now that i think of it, i did that with fuck buddies and one nighters as well. Or at least a text.
     


  4. Ivar

    Ivar Senior member

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    I usually wait a few days. If I met them on the weekend, I won't call until the middle of the following week. I used to not have a rule really and call the next day or the same weekend and it never really worked out. It comes across as desperate and as if you have nothing to do. Obviously, if a girl says, "call me tomorrow" it would be okay and I have had that happen. Otherwise, make them wait. They shouldn't be your priority anyways.

    +100000000000000000000000000000000000000

    Also:

    The best policy would be to ask the last guy who banged her what he did. Then do that.

    [​IMG]

    Assess women by their actions, not by what they say.
     


  5. Jr Mouse

    Jr Mouse Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I'm kinda surprised by the amount of guys here who say they would contact the girl the next day. Always seemed like a fairly normal thing to wait a day or two. Even if you are not doing it to follow a "rule" but just because you got other things going and want to look so.
     


  6. style_goat

    style_goat Well-Known Member

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    If you are in your 20s, texting the next day I have found to be the best. Dating rules, in essence, imply that the man is not worthy of the girl and must devise ways of getting her to like him. If a man were to truly believe it is a privilege to date him, he would do as he pleased. What's ironic is that dating guides inculcate that women want men who are individuals, natural, and independent of outside advice. While the tenor of their books is a denunciation against the kind of man who would buy them.

    I am juggling two girls right now, after being mired in a terrible 4th quarter slump. One has insisted that I call her, since she has a limited texting plan, the other never specified how I should contact her. Well, it is a pleasure arranging trysts with the latter.

    There is something inherently less-casual about calling, not to mention that you must devote time to it and think on your feet (each response and whether or not you should leave a message if he she does not answer). Paradoxically, in spite of the fact that more could be said in less time over the phone, texting seems to be less demanding of your time since it may be done whenever; for example, while waiting on line or out to dinner, without distracting another or beckoning congenital eavesdroppers. It also helps to have a few additional seconds (or even minutes) to think out your responses and incorporate some wit.
     


  7. jenlain

    jenlain Senior member

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    google doc love. thought it was bullshit. tried it. worked. his methodology is clear and seems well-reasoned. good luck.
     


  8. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    google doc love. thought it was bullshit. tried it. worked. his methodology is clear and seems well-reasoned. good luck.

    wut?
     


  9. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    I have always followed the general rule of thumb to not contact a girl who I get their number for a couple days. It's something I always considered fairly standard practice for most guys. The rationale behind it is you don't want to come across desperate to the girl. Recently, I asked a few of my close females friends what their opinion of it was. Surprisingly all of them said they like it when the guy texts/calls them the next day. It's a flattering change of pace and leaves the impression that the guy does not like to play games. I'm curious what everyone here does. Do you wait a couple days or just play it by ear and contact them the next day if you feel like it?
    As a general rule, I think women are the worst sources of advice about women. Go read some 'what women want' survey in a woman's mag, and then spend a day observing what they actually go for...very clear disparities will emerge very quickly. Stick to your couple-day window. I will sometimes send a 'hey, it was great to meet you tonight, enjoy your week ahead' kind of text after meeting her (which of course makes her feel like she won't hear from you for a week and helps to take desperate and clingy off the table while leaving 'attentive' on it) but then not follow that with a call for a few days. Every girl and every situation is different though, but that would be my typical MO.
     


  10. Stokely

    Stokely Senior member

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    wut?
    Wut? WUT? Google doc...........tor of puss!
     


  11. Timbaland

    Timbaland Senior member

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    JMRouse, how old are you?

    I felt with the younger girls (25 and under) there was a lot more game playing with all this bullshit but once you get past that it doesn't matter.

    Don't look at it as 1 approach is better than the other. Like don't think if I wait 2 days before I call her I will have better success. It isn't. Either the girl is attracted (or you left a good impression on her) to you or not. If she isn't you won't get a date no matter what. It's not like you will have a higher chance of getting a date by waiting longer.

    And I just call the next day. Texts are really informal and girls have mentioned that they appreciated the phone calls. I guess they have guys text them a lot more than call them to set up dates. After all the point of all this is to differentiate yourself right?
     


  12. notalwaysrig

    notalwaysrig Active Member

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    My advice:

    1. Disregard your preposterous schemes...b/c real love will not respond to them...

    2. After you get her number, simply call at an appropriate time..IE not 4am.

    3. be yourself, and be truthful...

    why? : Because there is beauty and "might" in honesty.

    ...the aforementioned is so simple, and yet so few people operate in this manner.
     


  13. Mr T

    Mr T Senior member

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    Well, I am actually desperate so I just follow them home and yell through their window.
     


  14. Lane

    Lane Senior member

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    dont forget the ski mask
     


  15. acecow

    acecow Senior member

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    My advice:

    1. Disregard your preposterous schemes...b/c real love will not respond to them...

    2. After you get her number, simply call at an appropriate time..IE not 4am.

    3. be yourself, and be truthful...

    why? : Because there is beauty and "might" in honesty.

    ...the aforementioned is so simple, and yet so few people operate in this manner.


    There, the advice that makes the most sense. Rules in relationships are silly. Make your own rules. And always remember that things are the opposite of what you think they are. If she doesn't pick up for a couple of days, that doesn't mean she's not interested. Simply, she's busy with her life. So, just be yourself and call whenever you feel like it. If she won't pick up, call back again. But for God's sake, please don't ever text a girl until you've called her at least a couple of times.
     


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