Completely won over a girl's heart and then put myself in the "friend zone."

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by snowy_footprints, Jan 5, 2010.

  1. grundletaint

    grundletaint Senior member

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    i will definitely fuck on the first date and always i expect it to ruin things. then again, i'm nowhere near ready to be in a relationship so i assume the same of the chicks that allow me to fuck on the first date so it's never disappointing when they drop the regret-bomb.
     
  2. mr. magoo

    mr. magoo Senior member

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    If you don't want to scare her away and ever have a chance at something serious, withdraw and be cool. Maybe in a couple weeks or months she changes her stance, maybe not. But if you try to push her on it, she's a goner.

    Chicks crave seriousness and commitment. If they're willing to withdraw, let them do it or else you're just boxing her into a corner.

    Also, you may be really into her because you want something to gravitate towards. You might need some time and space too to see if you're right about her, or it's just a passing fancy that feels more significant.
     
  3. edmorel

    edmorel Quality Seller!! Dubiously Honored

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    So everything was great, and it took a nose dive after you had sex? Maybe you suck in bed...

    not going to read the diatribe but based on this summary, I will give my standard response to the OP:

    [​IMG]
     
  4. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    not going to read the diatribe but based on this summary, I will give my standard response to the OP:

    [​IMG]


    Ed, you are so bad!
     
  5. why

    why Senior member

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    Congratulations on losing your virginity.
     
  6. phreak

    phreak Senior member

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    plz no... if things were really that great, you will end up together soon enough
     
  7. mrkleen

    mrkleen Well-Known Member

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    To the OP

    If she doesn’t want anything more than a casual fling, then there is no amount of chemistry or good sex or whatever that is going to change that.

    You liked her after your first night together, so you pulled back to show her that you are not all about the sex – that you would like to get to know her as a person. With the right woman, that would have been exactly the right play.

    With her, it showed a side of you that was serious and relationship ready – and it scared her away. That is the luck of the draw so to speak, and I don’t think you did anything wrong to be honest.
     
  8. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    I can't believe I read most of that.

    HEre's what you do: accept she doesn't want anything serious and continue to hook up with her.

    Enjoy your luck.
     
  9. willpower

    willpower Senior member

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  10. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    If you don't want to drive her away, posting her texts verbatim on an internet discussion board is probably a mistake.

    Then again, we didn't even have texts back when I was dating, so what do I know?
     
  11. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    The ship has sailed. Move on. Don't contact her and don't try to be her friend.

    ^ This. It's a losing proposition. It is impossible to come back from the "friend zone". Forget about her completely and move on with your life. Never answer her phone calls or texts again. NEVER. All you'll dois wind up wasting time and energy chasing something down that will hurt you even more.

    Seriously, move on.
     
  12. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    It's over. Move on.
     
  13. brandall10

    brandall10 Senior member

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    This

    " I wanted to embrace her and say, "Hello, beautiful" and kiss her, but I didn't... I feared coming on too strong as both of us had recently came out of relationships, so I kept it casual."

    Is where it all went sour. And you can't 'explain' this behavior after the fact to a girl. That's twisting the knife into whatever potential there is.

    It's completely incongruent with your relationship to that point.

    1) The girl feels kinda slutty know because the time you guys meet up after screwing, she wonders if she put out too quickly because all of a sudden you put on the brakes
    2) She's also wondering if maybe you're trying to quickly turn this into a relationship frame. It doesn't matter if she just came out of a relationship or is 'desperate' for one, because it reeks of desperation. This is why saying "I love you" too soon produces an ewww moment.

    You can fix this. STOP texting/facebooking/ect for a couple weeks. Then if she hasn't contacted you casually send a text out "hey old buddy, how ya been" kinda thing. You have to put up a bigger wall than she does with the friend thing, out-friend her so to speak, and bring it back down to really casual, lighthearted, teasing state. When you guys next hang out, lightly touch her often in a non-sexual way (things like grazing her elbow/shoulder to make a point, high-fiving, etc)
     
  14. brandall10

    brandall10 Senior member

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    ^ It is impossible to come back from the "friend zone"

    I've done it several times... and while it's terrible to beat yourself up over a girl, I highly recommend it for educational reasons, at least once or twice.
     
  15. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    I've done it several times... and while it's terrible to beat yourself up over a girl, I highly recommend it for educational reasons, at least once or twice.

    You recommend what?
    Beating yourself up over a girl?
    Or coming back from the "friend zone"?

    There are way too many women in the world who will give you what you're looking for "” with no strings and no expectations "” to ever beat yourself up over her.
     

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