it also depends on the type of school you go to. UT is a good school to be greek at bc its so big and its a more fend for yourself type of environment. i go to A&M (don't even shit talk, i love being here, and this comes from a city kid who was dead set on going to texas where all my friends are, if you havent been here you don't know) where greek life is decently sized but its not neccessary bc the campus overall is pretty friendly and involvement in other stuff is valued just as high if not higher. the social benefits (the whole finding yourself, shaping yourself thing) are just as available in them as in fraternities. i've had the experience of being in the top tier fraternity at A&M for about 2 years. it was great for what it was. wearing polo, bb, vineyard vines boat shoes everyday (maybe fraternities are diff elsewhere but in the south frattys dont rock spikey hair and abercrombie, it more like the shrieveport shag and sperry's), partying with tridelts, zetas, and chi-o's all the time, formals, date partys, drunkeness, road trips to visit other chapters, going out thurs fri and sat --- just general ridiculousness. outside of it i was also involved in some other extracuricular stuff, and i think thats where i really have learned to be the person i am now that is a leader, confident, feels fully accepted and all that good stuff. thus . . . i disassociated and joined a local fraternity that had more of the type of guys i respected. it is much harder to get into (3 week admission process -- application, then cut, interview, then cut, then socials, final cut), more highly regarded bc you have to be a leader in the university already to apply. we still do all the fraternity stuff like formals and hang out with the same sororities, its just i fit in and respect these guys way more than i did when i was in the frat. its all really your point of reference. ultimately everyone wants to feel accepted and that they are important and make a contribution -- the difference is where you derive that from. you know i dont down greek life, it just wasnt the right fit for me, at this university. i could be in greek life in another school and totally love it. i mean my sister is a chi-o at texas, but i wasn't dissappointed or anything when she got in bc i knew thats where she feels comfortable, its where her homebase is (and chi-o's are the shit at UT too). you just have to find your niche is ultimately the bottom line.