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Chimp Scores Second Base W/ Christina Ricci

Discussion in 'Entertainment, Culture, and Sports' started by underwearer, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. underwearer

    underwearer Senior member

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  2. TheIdler

    TheIdler Senior member

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    Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?
     
  3. awcollin

    awcollin Well-Known Member

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    Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?

    It's been a while since I've counted the bases, but I believe first base centered on the lips.
     
  4. underwearer

    underwearer Senior member

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    Wait, breasts are second base? What's first?

    Hmm I havent thought about this weird tween analogy in years but I thought it went: 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is boobie action, 3rd base is cootchie action, and a homerun is well, a homerun.

    I could be wrong though but I believe that's how it works in Jersey.
     
  5. designprofessor

    designprofessor Senior member

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    If you've seen "Black Snake Moan", the chimp is the least of her troubles....
     
  6. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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  7. Dedalus

    Dedalus Senior member

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    Hmm I havent thought about this weird tween analogy in years but I thought it went: 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is boobie/handjob/fingering action, 3rd base is oral action, and a homerun is well, a homerun.
    Fixed for what I thought. Grand slam is anal, I guess.
     
  8. underwearer

    underwearer Senior member

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    I wonder if the Chimp will be wearing Isaac Mizrahi on future red carpets?
     
  9. underwearer

    underwearer Senior member

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    Fixed for what I thought. Grand slam is anal, I guess.

    Or walk off homerun? You score that far and you might as well go home because you've won the game.
     
  10. Dedalus

    Dedalus Senior member

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    Do gay people use the baseball analogy? Maybe they use the defensive side of it, what with the pitching and catching.
     
  11. underwearer

    underwearer Senior member

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    Do gay people use the baseball analogy? Maybe they use the defensive side of it, what with the pitching and catching.

    Lolz...I was wondering what Women use?

    1st base: He bought me dinner
    2nd base: I blew him in the parking lot
    3rd base: He bought me a ring
    Homerun: We're divorced and I got the house
     
  12. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

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    After reading the article, I think it's obvious the chimpanzee was angry that she kept referring to him as a "monkey." Grabbing her breast was his way of saying, "I'm an ape, you nitwit."
     
  13. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

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    I actually thought from the thread title that George Bush had embraced her in a way the libs deemed inappropriate. Glad to see it was just a chimp. Chimps are pretty vicious though. There have been some horrifying attacks on people.

    And yes, I realize that humans are ten times as vicious as chimps, but still....
     
  14. TheIdler

    TheIdler Senior member

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    Well, live and learn. If I'm remembering correctly, first base for us was breast-touching, second base was touching coochie, third base involved oral, and a home run was a home run.

    I prefer your system because it inflates my OPS.
     
  15. shoreman1782

    shoreman1782 Senior member

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    2nd base: I blew him in the parking lot

    I don't think any women see that as an accomplishment [​IMG]
     
  16. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    Any hole is a goal in my book.

    I thought anal was the new second base based on the 2008 rulebook that just came out.
     
  17. DNW

    DNW Senior member

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    It's only fitting as "Chim" is a slang for one's genitals in Vietnamese. [​IMG]
     
  18. whodini

    whodini Senior member

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    Any hole is a goal in my book.

    I thought anal was the new second base based on the 2008 rulebook that just came out.


    Clearly you have the SoCal pink pages edition of the rulebook.
     
  19. whacked

    whacked Senior member

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    It's only fitting as "Chim" is a slang for one's genitals in Vietnamese. [​IMG]

    And what would that be in baseball term? Caught stealing 3rd? [​IMG]
     
  20. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    Clearly you have the SoCal pink pages edition of the rulebook.

    Yes, but this is the last year before they phase out baseball altogether for the more international soccer-based rules, which I've already adopted.
     

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